TTC without support of some family members.

Person_one

GingerBiscuit wrote: »

To be honest, it's the emotional support I wanted from him. I know it's likely to take me a while so I don't want to get my hopes up, but at the same time don't want to feel like giving up completely. He isn't biologically my Dad, and he's never been able to have children of his own, so I had expected him to be a bit more supportive.

I think you might be better off leaning on your mum at this stage.

It can be hard enough for some dads to accept that their daughters even have a sex life without being expected to provide emotional support for it!

FBaby

I agree with your dad. Losing weight during and/or after pregnancy is going to be much harder and if you are significantly overweight, you would be much better losing it first and avoid some complications. I also agree that your income is very low. You will most likely decide to be a sahm mum as childcare would likely be more than you would earn (unless someone can look after the baby for free), and you might really struggle to pay the mortgage on your partner's salary only. I also agree that you are very young, you do not know that endometriosis will definitely make it harder for you to conceive and even if it did, you still have plenty of time to do something about it.

I also know that if I was in your shoes, I would only listen to my heart and do as I wish

ikkle87

Oh and if you need support the TTC boards on here are fantastic!!

GingerBiscuit_3

I know it might seem a bit strange to some people that we've discussed TTC with my family, but I've been in and out of hospital a lot recently, and my family have been very supportive and involved with my condition. TTC has meant that I've had to stop other treatment, and my Mum overheard me discussing with a consultant in hospital about coming off the pill, and wanted to know why. The support with losing weight and preparing for a pregnancy is useful as well.

spongebabs

I don't really understand why you need to tell everyone you're ttc, it's a very personal decision and one that only you and your partner need to be involved in making. But that's not helpful is it! So, maybe just tell your dad you're taking his advice on board and thanks for caring enough to ask his sisters professional opion, it's been helpful, would that do?

Desperado99

I think next time the subject comes up, you need to tell your dad that while you appreciate that he is worried, you are an adult and are allowed to make your own decisions.

Just get on with TTC and try not to let them bring you down

spongebabs

GingerBiscuit wrote: »

I know it might seem a bit strange to some people that we've discussed TTC with my family, but I've been in and out of hospital a lot recently, and my family have been very supportive and involved with my condition. TTC has meant that I've had to stop other treatment, and my Mum overheard me discussing with a consultant in hospital about coming off the pill, and wanted to know why. The support with losing weight and preparing for a pregnancy is useful as well.

Cross posted with you there, I see why the family are involved now, hope you get it sorted ttc can be stressful at the best of times x

GingerBiscuit_3

Thanks for your support everyone. I've told my Dad that I appreciate him worrying about me and that I understand his concerns, and have tried to explain to him what I'm doing to alleviate those concerns. I had hoped that was the end of the conversation, and today called him up just to see how he was- he has a broken leg at the minute, but then he started telling me that he hadn't had a good night's sleep through worrying about me and telling me that him and my Mum were barely speaking because of it.

I really hope it does just blow over, and I do wish that it had just been kept between us and my Mum.

Charlie23

have to say i'm quite blunt! i certainly didn't ask my parents permission/support, ttc was discussed by myself and my husband, there was no one else involved. It is nice to have support but given that your gp and consultant both say go for it then they would be the people i listened to regarding medical advice.
me personally i would just say - great thanks dad, we've discussed it as a couple and with medical professionals and we ARE ttc.
good luck ttc hopefully it's a lot quicker than you expect :-) x

lostinrates

GingerBiscuit wrote: »

Thanks for your support everyone. I've told my Dad that I appreciate him worrying about me and that I understand his concerns, and have tried to explain to him what I'm doing to alleviate those concerns. I had hoped that was the end of the conversation, and today called him up just to see how he was- he has a broken leg at the minute, but then he started telling me that he hadn't had a good night's sleep through worrying about me and telling me that him and my Mum were barely speaking because of it.

I really hope it does just blow over, and I do wish that it had just been kept between us and my Mum.

I think you need to keep it just between you, not even your mum. I think in many respect your dad might be right, but they are YOUR choices to make. I certainly think his concerns about your financial furture are worth taking more seriously, but more importantly i think that now in your adult life it is time to reset boundaries so that this, and your health issues, become primarily a concern on your partner and you, and your mum, and indeed your dad, take a step back. This includes coming to hospital with you for other appointments etc.

I would speak to both of them just once more and say you were wrong to discuss it with both of them, its unlikely ro happen for a while and you really want them not to fall out over it, because its your life and relationship not theirs.

Boundaries change a bit as we get older, and i think that if you are hoping to be a parent now is the time to start becoming less emotionally reliant on your parents.

You sound like a lovely caring family though. good luck.