Do you tell guests what they are having?

stir_crazy

White_Sapphire wrote: »

I think it's polite to tell guests when they can expect to eat; I once went to a wedding which was at 12noon, and no food was served until the wedding breakfast at 4.30, by which time we'd had nothing since breakfast. If we'd known we would have grabbed something on the way to the reception to keep us going!

If that was me though I would expect those kind of timings. The last wedding I went to, the ceremony was at 1:30pm and the meal was supposed to be at 4:30, (however the venue was running late and the meal wasnt until 6:30). But I was expecting a meal to be late afternoon so I took a couple of cereal bars to keep us going.

White_Sapphire

stir_crazy wrote: »

If that was me though I would expect those kind of timings. The last wedding I went to, the ceremony was at 1:30pm and the meal was supposed to be at 4:30, (however the venue was running late and the meal wasnt until 6:30). But I was expecting a meal to be late afternoon so I took a couple of cereal bars to keep us going.

True, and in hindsight we should have had a larger breakfast and taken a snack. Thing is though, if the ceremony's at 1.30 you do at least have time for a light lunch beforehand, which you don't for a 12 o'clock ceremony. I suppose I thought that, with the ceremony covering lunchtime (12-1.30ish - full Catholic Mass!), there would be some nibbles at the drinks reception, or the meal would be a little earlier.

I do think it's really up to the Bride & Groom to make sure, when they are deciding timings, that people will be comfortable and aware of when food will be available so that they can plan accordingly. I'm not comfortable with the idea that guests should be responsible for feeding themselves during the wedding, unless there is a medical need (eg diabetes). I understand that it's difficult to get the timings right so that everyone will be happy - food always seems to be served at a weird time! - but all our timings are based around making sure that people aren't hanging around waiting for food. Ceremony's at 3 to give people time for lunch, then main meal at 5 (earlier than we really wanted, as we ideally wanted to eat at a normal dinner time, but there you go!) and a light buffet during the evening.

Whoops, sorry, not only have I taken the thead off topic, but I've wittered on for ages - sorry!

POPPYOSCAR

daisiegg wrote: »

I've never come across someone who 'hates' chicken...not like people who just 'do not' eat something like red meat... Chicken is probably my least favourite meat too as it's just dull but it's pretty inoffensive! You can't cater to every single person's dislikes but you can avoid things that generally it's not uncommon for people to dislike - such as lamb or duck.

Not that I'm necessarily having chicken...haven't even seen the menu options yet...but just using it as an example!

I hate chicken and any other poultry!

I would never want to impose my like and dislikes on anyone choosing a menu for their wedding, but I do try to find out what it will be, so that if it is something that I do not eat I can make sure I have something to eat beforehand.

POPPYOSCAR

kitschkitty wrote: »

So you do expect people not to eat at their normal times and find it odd that people eat before a wedding that starts at 1pm - that's odd to me.

Oh and there's no such thing as a normal (or odd) time for a wedding. In England you can get married on any day of the week between 8am and 6pm. (though most register offices are only open from 10am-4pm Mon-Fri & 10am-1pm on Saturdays).


Anyway I do stick to my personal opinion that as wedding catering is so expensive I wanted to make sure that everyone would be fairly happy eating what we chose (as I would have been very annoyed to have paid hundreds of pounds for food nobody was eating)- the thing our guests all raved over was the scones, cream, jam & strawberries!

Yes, the last wedding I went to was £50 per head and a lot of the food was wasted. Even my OH who loves seafood could not cope with the 6 starters passed to him!!

LE3

the last wedding I went to, my friend asked for dietary needs on the replies. However she also personally contacted myself & another friend as she knew we had allergies, and discussed the menu with us to make sure we would be able to eat. She'd already worked out that I wouldn't be able to eat the main & my other friend the starter! That was really thoughtful of her - by doing this, we were able to leave the sauce off my dish, and my other friend who is allergic to cheese was able to have a different starter as the majority had a goats cheese based dish.
I've never understood the concept of having people you don't know at a wedding, if you know your guests, you know their allergies/dietary needs so can work it out individually with them.
Sure, given free choice (eg at a restaurant) I may not have chosen everything that was served at the wedding but I will always remember how thoughtful that friend was to ensure I would be able to eat None of the other guests knew what they would be eating before they got there.

wanchai_2

daisiegg wrote: »

I've never come across someone who 'hates' chicken...not like people who just 'do not' eat something like red meat... Chicken is probably my least favourite meat too as it's just dull but it's pretty inoffensive! You can't cater to every single person's dislikes but you can avoid things that generally it's not uncommon for people to dislike - such as lamb or duck.

Not that I'm necessarily having chicken...haven't even seen the menu options yet...but just using it as an example!

Oh, I know a few people who actually hate chicken lol.

becs wrote: »

Even if they didn't like/eat beef /chicken whatever they can just leave that bit and eat the accompaniments! If you're invited to friends for dinner they don't usually ask what you'd like? We're adults and eating a meal we don't like once won't kill us!

Exactly.

stir_crazy wrote: »

If that was me though I would expect those kind of timings. The last wedding I went to, the ceremony was at 1:30pm and the meal was supposed to be at 4:30, (however the venue was running late and the meal wasnt until 6:30). But I was expecting a meal to be late afternoon so I took a couple of cereal bars to keep us going.

+1 - in Ireland, people always expect the meal to be about 6pm for a 1pm wedding, so they plan accordingly. We are providing sandwiches, canapes etc on arrival as we know that a lot of our guests are having to drive quite a distance. Some couples aren't so considerate, unfortunately.


I also agree with LE3 - if you know your guests well, you will know who is veggie etc. We already knew that we had 3 veggies and a coeliac. We did still put the 'any special dietary requirements?' bit on the RSVP, but that was really for those we knew less well (e.g. +1s, partners of friends).

kitschkitty

daisiegg wrote: »

No - I would expect everyone to eat something before a 1pm wedding - but that's eating pretty early so I doubt that would then last them until they get home 12 hours later if they didn't like what was on offer for the wedding breakfast! I meant, that doesn't allow them to eat beforehand if they knew they wouldn't like the meal. They could eat beforehand but it would have been hours before and they'd still get hungry!

If I had a cooked lunch or even brunch or breakfast I could cope will a small afternoon/evening meal.

My whole point remains that if I don't know what the food is going to be I have no opportunity to make myself a meal early in the day, no option to take food with me, request (or even pay myself for) a different meal or make other suitable arrangements.

As for people knowing their guests well enough to know their dietary requirements I think it depends on at least a couple of things, how many people they are inviting and if their guests keep such info private or not - a lot of people I know don't know I am diabetic, and if for example my husband was the main person being invited to a wedding most of the people he knows would have no idea.

I was lucky that the only dietary restrictions for my wedding breakfast were for 1 vegetarian. If we had, had a big wedding guest list then up to 4 of our friends to my knowledge are lactose intolerant, but I only found that out very recently and wouldn't have known at the time.

wanchai_2

oH YES, i KNOW THAT some peeps might not make their food allergies/conditions known publicly, but that's why we went for the belt and braces approach and asked on the invitation.

xx

lisajane8482

Thanks everyone for your replies. I've opened a whole can of worms haven't I

I'm another person who hates (and I mean HATES) chicken, hence we're not having it. The only option left was pork and I know a couple members of my family don't like pork hence we went for beef (even though I personally prefer pork to beef).

I know most of my guests will eat what's put in front of them no matter what it is, most is family and they're not picky. I know I have one diabetic in the family (who I will be asking if my choices are ok for her, if not I will sort something out that she can have).

As for OH's guests I have no idea, I don't really think he's that bothered with their opinion TBH, especially since if he had his way he wouldn't invite most of his family and still possibly may not.

White_Sapphire our day is planned like yours 3pm wedding, 5pm dinner and later (8ish) we are having combo platters put on the tables.

If people are still hungry there's a chip shop, pizza shop and chinese takeaway across the road :rotfl:

I think I'll put any special dietary requirements on the RSVP as suggested and leave it up to them to come back to me.

shellsuit

We had a carvery with 3 choices of meat (turkey, ham and beef), mashed pots, roast pots, stuffing, pigs in blankets, yorky puds and about 5 different kinds of veg.

Dessert was profiteroles.

We knew nobody invited to the daytime was a veggie and we knew they all liked a good roast, so that's why we opted for that.

I've been to a wedding where I didn't know what food was going to be there.

I've been to a wedding where there was no food there.

I've been to a wedding where I've had a choice of what to eat beforehand.


Each wedding is different and there are no set rules when it comes to food and guests (but it IS good to feed them something!).

I would quite happily eat anything presented to me at a wedding, so long as it wasn't liver! I'm grateful to be there and to have the happy couple pay for me to eat ~ I can't stand selfish awkward people who don't like this and don't like it. Just eat up or try some and shut up