Frump to Fab - Sizzling Summer Solstice to Awesome Autumn Equinox

heebie-jeebies

WW - Well done, we all knew you could do it! :T

LL - sorry about your OHs care, I agree with Bitsy that only the right people should be in those jobs. I hope you enjoyed your day watching your niece.

BabyMad - you inspired me on Friday so I had Fab Saturday instead! I wore my lovely Guess jeans that I usually save for a special occasion but decided that a day of no plans with my DH should be special enough! I paired them with beige peeptoe heels and a brown top. Then did my makeup with dramatic eyes (I like them like that as I have big eyes but wear glasses so the effect can get lost). Amazingly (for only the second time in 3 and a half years), I met someone I knew in the supermarket so was nice to feel that I looked put together.

I think some mini challenges are just what I need so will have a think about mine.

Everhopeful09

Evening all,

Just checking in, will catch up on all posts and gossip later. Had a brilliant
Weekend seeing my family and all the extended family at the christening ,bit of trip down memory lane as little villages in depths of somerset where many summer hols spent with grandparents was lovely though.

Right off to unpack and get ready for work tomorrow & then a busy week.

Eh x

fedupandskint

WW - well done girl! Races are great fun. I ran mmy first race this year and loved it. Will do it again next year

Had a nice walk up to town. Not much left in the sale but did get a lovely set of new matching underwear which is gorgeous. Anyway, on to other matters of.....completed Level 2 Ripped in 30 today. That was a hard level! Got the running stuff out ready for tomorrow. First run in a few months so let's see how that goes. Aiming for 4miles in around 40mins. Used to do it in 32so a nice gentle run required to start off with after a few months off. Then for the rest of the week its onto Level 3

lizzie157

LL- sorry about OH's carers, can only echo others, some people just shouldn't be in that type of work. Sadly because sometimes the pay isn't very good I think there seems to be a high turnover in these sort of jobs and often the wrong type of person ends up in a caring role. Hope you get it sorted. Hopefully you've enjoyed a break today to recharge your batteries- hope you had a good day.

WW- well done:T:T on the run, a great acheivement for you. A friends sister was running in the same race haven't heard how she did yet though.

A bit of unrest here earlier which has thrown my plans into dissaray. Had intended another trip out for last day of hols but DD2 caused a row. She refused to do something with her dad, deliberately stalling until he had to go without her (after calling her some names - which to me are totally unacceptable as I told him). She says she doesn't like him and doesn't want to go anywhere with him. He says she gets things and gives nothing back. I do agree to an extent but can see why she doesn't want to go places with him, but now do I still take her tomorrow or do I go without her or not go at all. Everything's a nightmare here and I get sick of hearing H nagging which just makes me switch off especially as he always comes to me as if it's all my fault. Oh how I wish I had the means to get rid, things seem so much easier when he isn't around.

adelight

I will get fab
I will get fab
I will get fab
*clicks holey fluffy slippered heels together*

If I say it enough times will I stay in the thread and stay on track?
I am torn between saving every penny and allowing myself a few bob to look good (and consequently feel good).
Sorry guys for the pointless post, but I'm trying to kick myself up the !!!!!

lessonlearned

adelight wrote: »

I will get fab
I will get fab
I will get fab
*clicks holey fluffy slippered heels together*

If I say it enough times will I stay in the thread and stay on track?
I am torn between saving every penny and allowing myself a few bob to look good (and consequently feel good).
Sorry guys for the pointless post, but I'm trying to kick myself up the !!!!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Of course you will. Your post is not pointless. Consider your derriere well and truly kicked. It's not always down to money - more about attitude. We Fabbers can achieve great things with very little.

However, if you can spare a few pennies to treat yourself now and then - well there's no harm. I appreciate that for many of us money is very tight - but a couple of quid now and then ........A new pair of glam slippers perhaps??? I lashed out last week and bought a pair of navy velvet ones - £5 - the gaffer tape wouldn't hold the old ones together any longer.:rotfl:

I had a conversation about not spending money today with my sister. She wanted to buy me a bacon butty. I insisted on paying for my own, saying to her that I knew how hard up she was at the moment. She just looked at me and smiled and said "Sweetie, a bacon butty is just a drop in the ocean". I do know what she means....

I shouldn't spend money at all really at the moment because until my pension kicks in I am essentially living off my savings...:o Although I am pleased to say that - actually on the money front my worries are nearly over - pension soon and also FIL's legacy will be coming through in the not too distant future. Spoke to SIL today and house sale going through smoothly.

Had a lovely day, watching my niece. The pony she was riding is only 5 and still a novice, very skittish. This is the first year that my niece has been competing too so she is quite nervous. She took a tumble but got back up, the pony kept refusing to jump but my niece was determined. She kept going at them over and over until the pony jumped.

I was amazed at her determination. I said to my sister "M will go far in life - (not just show jumping). She never gives up, she just keeps trying. She has "True Grit".

It got me thinking - it's a bit like our Frump to Fab approach isn't it.

Life knocks us down and we just get right back up. Like flowers that are battered by the rain and raise their heads again as soon as the sun shines on them - we just keep coming back for more.

Adelight - you will do it. And so will I. And so will all of us.

Re the nursing home - I will just keep an eye on things. The matron is on holiday so I will just bide my time till she comes back. In the meantime, I will keep changing my visiting patterns to make sure I get a clear picture of exactly what is going on. Keep them on their toes. The guilty ones know that I'm on to them and their ways.

WW - Re visiting my friend in Devon. What a good idea.

Actually she rang me the other night and invited me down again. I think I might just do that - a few days at the seaside would be good. I'm really busy and rather low on funds but hey - both in terms of time and money - it's just a drop in the ocean.

Anyway - it's time for my bed. I watched the final part of "The Last Weekend" tonight. Thoroughly enjoyed it. The narrator/principal character was a head case.

I'm also watching "The Accused" series and of course "Dr Who" is now back with us.... A sure sign Autumn is just round the corner.

P.S. WW - Well done.

Bitsy_Beans

adelight personally I think life is too short for a hair shirt I know money saving and debt busting are important but heaven knows it all becomes a massive slog if there are no treats along the way. What these are and how much only you can decide but I think you're more likely to feel demotivated and run down if you don't set aside funds to help you feel good. So I would suggest you allocate yourself a small fund for fabbing. It doesn't have to be mega bucks

Lizzie nothing worse than being piggy in the middle. Not sure what to suggest you do about going today, I guess see how the land lies and decide xxx

lessonlearned

Good Morniing Everyone

A glorious September morning here - an Indian Summer perhaps.

Off to see OH early today - an appt with wheelchair services, then home to undercoat that wretched front door and a bit of gardening.

Lizzie - hope things go well today - whatever you decide.

Piggy in the middle is not a good place to be. Don't blame yourself though. I think this often happens when teens are involved - even when mum and dad are perfectly happy and "in sync".

I do think that children pick up on the vibes around them. They always know if mum and dad are at loggerheads. Do you think that DD2 could be feeling vulnerable because she senses that you and your husband are unhappy.

Why does she not want to spend time with her father. Is this something new or has she always been closer to you. Do they row a lot. It seems such a shame that you have to suffer and miss out on a nice day with your daughter because of a row between daughter and father. Would it inflame the situation if you just drew a line and started today afresh.

Would your OH consider going to Relate with you. Even if you think your marriage is beyond hope, Relate can be very useful in helping couples to split up.

I do feel for you - an unhappy relationship is not a nice place to be - not for you, not for your children and to be fair - not for your husband either.

How does he feel. Does he want out or is he unaware of how you feel. Can you get him to "talk". Do you really want to split or do you want to save your marriage.

I know this sounds a bit odd - but have you had a chat with a solicitor - just to see what your options are. The first meeting is usually free.

I know money is very tight for you as it is but would going solo make you any poorer. Have you looked into what benefits or financial help would be available.

For what it's worth - my advice is - just try to enjoy what's left of the school holidays. Have a bit of fun with the kids and help them prepare for the new school year. Give yourself a breathing space and put things to the back of your mind for now. Once they are back at school and the dust has settled then maybe it's time to start to thinking about what you really want.

Good luck sweetie and enjoy today.

lizzie157

Bitsy_Beans wrote: »

adelight personally I think life is too short for a hair shirt I know money saving and debt busting are important but heaven knows it all becomes a massive slog if there are no treats along the way. What these are and how much only you can decide but I think you're more likely to feel demotivated and run down if you don't set aside funds to help you feel good. So I would suggest you allocate yourself a small fund for fabbing. It doesn't have to be mega bucks

I think this is so right, just wish I'd realised it sooner.:(Have spent so much of my adult life putting everyone else first and not allowing myself a little treat, doesn't have to be expensive

Lizzie nothing worse than being piggy in the middle. Not sure what to suggest you do about going today, I guess see how the land lies and decide xxx

We did get up this morning planning to go to the coast, (incidently going to take us longer than it did to London!), but DD2 was feeling tired so we decided to leave it, may nip somewhere locally later. We will plan another trip for next school hols.

lessonlearned wrote: »

Good Morniing Everyone

A glorious September morning here - an Indian Summer perhaps.

Off to see OH early today - an appt with wheelchair services, then home to undercoat that wretched front door and a bit of gardening.

Lizzie - hope things go well today - whatever you decide.

Piggy in the middle is not a good place to be. Don't blame yourself though. I think this often happens when teens are involved - even when mum and dad are perfectly happy and "in sync".

I do think that children pick up on the vibes around them. They always know if mum and dad are at loggerheads. Do you think that DD2 could be feeling vulnerable because she senses that you and your husband are unhappy.

yes I think all of the kids know.:( Am not sure it makes her feel vulnerable tbh I think they would like to see the back of him just as much as me.

Why does she not want to spend time with her father. Is this something new or has she always been closer to you. Do they row a lot. It seems such a shame that you have to suffer and miss out on a nice day with your daughter because of a row between daughter and father. Would it inflame the situation if you just drew a line and started today afresh.

She has always been close to me but she has become difficult over the last year, just the normal teenage phase really but dad isn't very understanding at all.

Would your OH consider going to Relate with you. Even if you think your marriage is beyond hope, Relate can be very useful in helping couples to split up.


I do feel for you - an unhappy relationship is not a nice place to be - not for you, not for your children and to be fair - not for your husband either.

How does he feel. Does he want out or is he unaware of how you feel. Can you get him to "talk". Do you really want to split or do you want to save your marriage.

He's well aware of my feelings but any talking results a row as he does't seem to care about the situation. It suits him the way it is. For lots of reasons I don't really want to go into on here I have no interest in saving the relationship. I have looked into moving but what with bonds etc, and the costs involved, together with all the government changes about to come in it doesn't seem to be an option and he is as determined as possible to make it hard for me. The atmosphere in the house is so much better when he is out.

I know this sounds a bit odd - but have you had a chat with a solicitor - just to see what your options are. The first meeting is usually free.

I know money is very tight for you as it is but would going solo make you any poorer. Have you looked into what benefits or financial help would be available.

For what it's worth - my advice is - just try to enjoy what's left of the school holidays. Have a bit of fun with the kids and help them prepare for the new school year. Give yourself a breathing space and put things to the back of your mind for now. Once they are back at school and the dust has settled then maybe it's time to start to thinking about what you really want.

Good luck sweetie and enjoy today.

I have on anumber of occasions been about to go to a solicitor but never gone a head with it. we aren't married and as I understand it H can't be forced to leave as we have ajoint tenancy. Financially I would be slightly worse off but it 's the other pressures that come with leaving that I feel unable to cope with atm. Only DD2 is of schoolage now, it's still up in the air as to what 's happening with DS3 and his course options. Over all it's just the general air of negativity that H emits which brings me down and makes it very difficult to keep an optimistic approach to life.

I'm going to have a good think about my options over the next few weeks and take it from there but such alot needs to be adressed it brings me down thinking about it.
Anyway time to enjoy the last day of the hols before it's gone. Have agood day all.

Bitsy_Beans

Lizzie I wish there was something I could do to support you or help you more. It's no way to live xxxx