How do I make my husband understand.

System

scooby088 wrote: »

I maybe wrong here but without intimacy there is probably a lessening in interest in the relationship as an whole.

I know i'd lose heart very quickly.

Maybe my relationship is the exception but now the kids have grown up and we spend most of our time apart, intimacy is a big part of the 'glue' that holds us together.

Angelicdevil

Agree with the previous two posters....for me, a relationship with dwindling intimacy = something is wrong.

It's a huge part of a relationship to me.

But I'm not sure that's going to help the OP as I have a feeling it may be beyond that.

Good luck!

parsnipnose

Why stay in a relationship if you are not happy.

People annoy me when they say 'oh i stayed with him for the kids sake' ummm it does more damage than splitting and having two non arguing parents

scooby088

I think there are differing degrees of intimacy but I think the lack of sex makes you less inclined to do the other things like cuddle, hug or even talk.

System

People annoy me when they say 'oh i stayed with him for the kids sake' ummm it does more damage than splitting and having two non arguing parents

I think it depends on the quality of the relationship thats left after the love has gone. If your making your lives a living misery by just being together then its time to get out.

Arguments dont have to involve the children. When my marriage first got into trouble he bought a motorbike and we went off on it. All the anger and bitterness i felt came out on those bike rides, the kids didnt see much of it. i'd get on the bike hating his guts and about 30 miles down the road i'd get a pat on the leg and i'd soften.

seven-day-weekend

parsnipnose wrote: »

Why stay in a relationship if you are not happy.

People annoy me when they say 'oh i stayed with him for the kids sake' ummm it does more damage than splitting and having two non arguing parents

Why not stay and try to get the happiness back?

Oh of course, marriage is disposable these days, isn't it, like paper plates at a party. Use once and discard.

kno

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

Why not stay and try to get the happiness back?

Oh of course, marriage is disposable these days, isn't it, like paper plates at a party. Use once and discard.

So spend the rest of your life tied to someone you would rather not be simply because you were wed.

It's 2012 no need for such cruelty.

System

So spend the rest of your life tied to someone you would rather not be simply because you were wed.

It's 2012 no need for such cruelty.

I think you owe it to yourself and your marriage to try and work things out.

If theres no hope, and no desire to mend whats fixed.. then its time to get out.

FBaby

For God Sake, there is more to life and intimacy than a dazzling sex life. Many people within a relationship do not have the sex life they aspire to, that doesn't mean that their relationship is doomed or that they can be happy. As for the stereotype of the man being miserable because his misses is denying him of it, it's so archaic, I can't believe it still makes discussions like this!

As for to say that if you are not happy you should just leave, I find that utterly insulting to the poster. As if someone who resort to letting all their feelings out in a public forum hadn't possibly considered this option before posting.... It's simple, sometimes you reach a level of compromise that makes you dissatisfied in your relationship, however, you believe you are still happier in a relationship with that person than if you were not because of what you would miss otherwise, and no, I'm not talking about money or security, it could actually be just love...

seven-day-weekend

kno wrote: »

So spend the rest of your life tied to someone you would rather not be simply because you were wed.

It's 2012 no need for such cruelty.

I'm not saying to do that. I am saying to try to make it work, before you give up. The poster I was responding to seemed to be suggesting that you shouldn't even try.

Totally agree with FBaby's post above.