Things you've quickly regretted saying...

shelly

I was out with girlfriends one evening at a local pub getting a round in when a rather dishy bloke joined me at the bar. He knew one of my friends so we had met before, we weren't complete strangers. I was quite tipsy and drink makes me say things that I would normally just keep inside my head but as I say, I'd had a drink so to my immediate embarrassment said this outloud....' My husband has said I can look and not touch so would you mind undressing while I watch?' I immediately apologised and walked away without the drinks

tea_lover

When I was at uni I worked in a filofax packing factory during the holidays (seriously). I spent 3 months, 10 hrs a day sitting next to a conveyor belt and putting diaries into the folders. It was as awful as it sounds.

A few months later I went to tesco with my dad. He went inside while I got a trolley. I went in and saw him waiting for him by the stationery stuff, which is next to the entrance in our store. He was looking at a d*mn filofax (which by this point had become my nemesis) so I snatched it out of his hand and said "you're not buying that c.rap". Only it wasn't my dad, it was some random (and quite scared by this point) stranger.

Charlie23

shelly wrote: »

I was out with girlfriends one evening at a local pub getting a round in when a rather dishy bloke joined me at the bar. He knew one of my friends so we had met before, we weren't complete strangers. I was quite tipsy and drink makes me say things that I would normally just keep inside my head but as I say, I'd had a drink so to my immediate embarrassment said this outloud....' My husband has said I can look and not touch so would you mind undressing while I watch?' I immediately apologised and walked away without the drinks

FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry but i just LOVE that! It's really made my day! :j

pink68

I'm not one for late night phone calls so if the phone rings I tend to assume the worst.

The other Sunday evening it rang about half past nine and on hearing one of my best friends on the other end I said 'Oh its only you, I thought someone had died or somet', She then burst into tears cos she'd rung to tell me a mutual friend had just lost their mother......ooops.


I saw a thing on another website the other day that said

'I prefer not to think before speaking, I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth'

Sums me up a treat!

Ivrytwr3

following on from tea lovers post:

When OH and I were boyfriend/girlfriend we were in a book shop one day. She wandered off to her interesting books and i went to mine.

I found a Karma Sutra with graphic photographs and found a position i'd "like to try".

I wondered off to find OH and when i found her I shoved the book under her nose and asked her if she'd "fancy trying that tonight?".

Some random woman who i had never met before looked up at me with a very frightened look on her face and stammered "Er.....No thanks" and made a dash for the exit.

VictoriaBlyth

On my way home from work, I often used to pick my 15 year old son up as he trudged up the road from school, one day I spotted him, pulled over and drove slowly alongside while calling from the window 'come for a ride in my car little boy, and I will show you my puppies'. Son turned around. Yep - you know what is coming now.....a bloke who must have been 30 if he was a day with a terrified expression on his face virtually broke into a gallop to get away from me!

indebtinsussex

in a deperate bid to stop my ds from playing with his bits in public I turned round and told him that if he carried on playing with it he'd end up wearing glasses. However when we saw my parents he turned round and asked my dad if he plays with his w*lly because he wears glasses and then asked my mum whos w*lly did she play with because she wears glasses as well. Have never quite lived that one down!

Abbafan1972

indebtinsussex wrote: »

in a deperate bid to stop my ds from playing with his bits in public I turned round and told him that if he carried on playing with it he'd end up wearing glasses. However when we saw my parents he turned round and asked my dad if he plays with his w*lly because he wears glasses and then asked my mum whos w*lly did she play with because she wears glasses as well. Have never quite lived that one down!

Just love it!

I have been reading through this thread and creasing up laughing! Keep em coming!

Turtle2010

jackieb wrote: »

I went into Boots and asked the assistant if they had any crystal meth. I'd meant to ask for mentholated crystals.

that actually made me spit out my tea....so funny!! :rotfl::rotfl:

alwaysonthego_2

I once worked as a sales assistant in Currys and a man approached me and ask me to list the benefits of getting a diskman case (before MP3 players) and I told him it would prevent the diskman from getting scratched if he had a knife in his pocket. The man look horrified and so did my manager.