Hoarding...not just on TV

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

What plates do you actually want, Patchwork?



There is no law that says you must keep hold of things you have not chosen for yourself. These extras could be welcomed by somebody else who needs and loves them now - instead of weighing you down with obligation.

Do you tend to cater for 14 people every week? Every month?

Or is it once in a blue moon where borrowing or buying ten cheap plates for the cost of a couple of bottles of wine/3 cartons of orange juice, before passing them on again, would be a realistic prospect?





ETA: Byatt. Sometimes people just can't see what is as plain as the nose on their face.

GreyQueen

PQ, there's a silly little rhyme which rattles around my family, no idea where it comes from or if there's more than this:

There's a party on the hill will you come?
Bring your own cup and saucer and a bun.

There's a blogger called Mike who has blog called Homeless on Wheels about his life in an RV (recreational vehicle, he's an American) and he comments about the crockery issue. Apparently it's commonplace in the RV community to bring your own stuff to a shared meal.

I sometimes see old EPNS forks at jumblies with several turns of coloured thread around the handle. My Nan explained that back in the day, women used to donate their own cutlery for the duration of communal meals eg at the village hall. Each would mark hers with a particular colour thread so she could get them back afterwards.

Cheap modern cutlery has made this unneccesary.

Another tip I heard was that a family of mother and 2 adult daughters agreed to have the same design of best crocks and cutlery so that they could inter-lend to make up the numbers for big occasions.

I agree with Jo Jo that it's not worth hosting huge amounts of crocks 24/7/365 for the rate occasions that you have to feed the 5,000. You could buy then re-gift cheapy ones to the c.s. or use disposables or borrow or ask them to bring their own.

Heck, some of my cutlery went to a supper party at one of the upper flats and came back happily the next day.........:rotfl:

(((Byatt))) I'm sorry to hear that your DD is being exploited and doesn't want to hear about it. I've unfortunately seen a fair few vulnerable adults glommed onto by sleazy scum over the years and you get no joy trying to alert SS to what is going on, I've found. May the exploiters get someone as nasty as they are to exploit them, one day, is all I can hope.

lostinrates

My take on the plates might not be helpful.

I think, all else coming in order....it's ok not to rush the decision. Personally, my plates don't match, though I think they are all pretty. One day I might inherit some I don't love. It's no longer made, so if I do I will sell it to one of those companies that find bits of no longer made services for people who love them and have broken bits and pieces.

There are things I may inherit that will be harder to deal with, but I think my sibling has ear marked the stuff we both like, ( and told my mother that anything of real monetary value would be appreciated....coldly phrased or what?)

I find I use odd things other peeps don't. E.g. I have half a dozen or so meat plates. These are great for buffets. So, anyone looking through my dining room sideboard might think...oh, all those meat area are Richard, but they are very well used!

katep23

Ah Byatt must be so frustrating being able to see what is happening / about to happen but not being able to convince DD that she is being taken advantage of. (((Hugs)))

Finally been able to get rid of some things "which I could use".

Such as the body scrub and detox bath stuff OH got me 5 years ago when we got together (but it's in such lovely tubs with clippy locks - yes, which are going rusty from bath water ), the second jar of mint sauce which is open - can't read the date on it, soup out of the freezer which was made in 2010 Big progress for me.

Got loads of wood chopped up and stored, done some batch cooking (now room in the freezer where the soup was ), cleaned the ducks out so a productive day.

Time to get ready for work tomorrow then hit the sack I think.

whitewing

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2245463/Fire-crews-battle-save-known-hoarders-house-piled-high-tonnes-possessions-collected-25-years.html

katep23

Ah nice to see the tolerance of DM readers!

decogecko

I saw that article too Whitewing

BH hope you're feeling ok after your shock.

Finally shredded some paperwork that I'd sorted a few weeks ago and put the shredded paper in the bin - normally I'd keep hold of it to put it in the compost. Consequently the hallway console is looking much clearer, so much so that I can see that it's made from oak and not paper!

My cousin had been renting one of my spare rooms off me and has moved out so I have an empty room (bar the bed and a small tv table), I am determined not to fill it and the fitted cupboards with richard. Anything going in there is going to be subject to scrutiny so it doesn't become a dumping ground like bed 3 which still has stuff from my lounge (still a work in progress, hopefully my open fire is being fitted tomorrow and then the painting can commence).

Anyone else found that their spending has decreased? This has been the main reward to me - I'm not wasting money on 'things'. I'm looking at what I have already and reusing it (if possible - if I don't love it or it's not useful it gets put in cs bag). I found 3 pictures the other day that I'd forgotten I had (but love) so they've gone up in the kitchen.

Thanks to you all for keeping me motivated with my dericharding

Patchwork_Quilt

Thank you all for the useful advice. I particularly liked GreyQueen's idea of the whole family having the same crockery and of course, borrowing is always an option. Why do I feel I have to do everything independently?

Sorry to hear you have been decluttered Byatt. I hope your daughter sees the light soon.

Just been watching Kirstie's Vintage Home and Superscrimpers back-to-back. Definitely inspiring.

lostinrates

The black t shirt and the yoga pants.

Ten years ago I was fit as a flea, very slim and young with my life ahead of me. At l
East three times a week I did yoga, in a Calvin Kline v neck long sleeve t shirt and a pair of m and s pj bottoms that could pass as yoga pants. I loved the t. It had lace around the cuffs (think that was pjs too) softening the otherwise plain black and give ping me something to focus on when my posture allowed a gaze at my wrists but my mind wandered.

But the amazing thing is, these two items grew with me as I put on weight and got very ill. Sort of. The t shirt was too short, but alright as a vest, and the 'yoga pants' were ok but I wouldn't where them to a yoga class, just as well, as most of the time I cannot do anything much.


These have been so symbolic to me, these scruffy bits of stretchy jersey. They were something that was me from before that had not had to leave or be in a box. They were things I might do yoga in again instead of wear as insulating layers.

And now they sit with two bin bags of other textiles, because they are now RAG. WHEN not IF I feel able to go to a class again instead of trying the odd bit of stretching at home, I will buy NEW, fancy yoga clothes. Designed for yoga not sleep wear. If I want a bit of cheap
Lace on the wrists I will sew it there myself. until then I will have to stretch in whatever yucky tracksuit I have on or my bra and knickers.

I know this sounds silly but that t shirt has been a huge weight on my mind, both in what it is and what I am not. The trousers had a hole in apace that made dh snort when I showed him why they were Richard.


I have some more clothes to get rid of, I know I do, and they are going to be hard in other ways ( an ugly pink crocheted cardi I just cannot help like, even though it's frightfully ugly is looking a me from its shelf while I type.) but....this is a huge thing from me. I cannot quite believe I will not fish the t shirt from the bin, but I know I will not. I want a brighter and better future, not that bitter sweet past.

Brighton_belle

lostinrates wrote: »

The black t shirt and the yoga pants.

.. but....this is a huge thing from me. I cannot quite believe I will not fish the t shirt from the bin, but I know I will not. I want a brighter and better future, not that bitter sweet past.

Thanks for this post LIR. I can totally relate to it having similarly had the life I had swiped from under my feet by ill health. It similarly was a long process for me to let go of things that represented the life I had and the hope for the future to resume a fuller life. Difficult as various items have been, there has been nothing I have regreted getting rid of once it had gone.