Hoarding...not just on TV

sjprmc01

I don't think we have a jug!


Oh and I have to fess up to buying a dress and matching hairband for eldest dd. but it was bought with her birthday money and she had wanted one like it since before Christmas (when I waited too long on a deal for it and it sold out)

IHateBinBags

I've not posted for quite a while on this thread, infact it was this thread that made me finally register, but i have been reading and so very impressed with all your efforts.:jDon't know really where to begin, so here goes, after the debacle at the tip with them refusing to accept any more rubbish from OH i finally got in touch with a sympathetic manager at his local council who sent out a "private householder" license allowing him to take as much or as little as he wanted, therein lies the problem it's been very, very little:( Infact zilch.
I cleared out his living room, kitchen was spotless, so was his bathroom, all i asked him to do was clear the remaining bin bags so i could get into the spare bedroom, to tidy that, so that i could get into his bedroom to bag everything up from there to put into the spare bedroom so he could go through things at his leisure, what he wanted and didn't 4 weeks on and still haven't gone. I really do understand the guilt, how embarresed he feels and how things got so far he didn't know where to start. I'm sorry to say that i threw my toys outta the pram, said i couldn't do it any more on my own and how i was never, ever, not ever going to his again to try and clear 12 years of him buying to sell on ebay and nothing ever getting near to ebay making more of a fortune out of him:o
Well finally after me having that middle age strop which i can assure anyone was 100 times worse than a 2 year old throwing themselves on a supermarket floor after being told no they weren't having that loverly big red lolly at the end of the till, he finally took them to the tip with his shiny new license, only for him to tell me over sunday lunch at mine that on saturday morning before work he'd been to a great new carboot and bought 16 tins of half full paint tins that he was sure when mixed would be great for me to paint his hall when everything was shifted. :eek: He's alive, but only just

wannabe_sybil

Byatt - hugs

IHateBinBags - I am impressed at your self control.

I have five and a bit jugs. I have a jug to fill the iron. I have a jug to fill the kettle. Both are kept handy for their purpose. I have two pyrex jugs, one half litre and one litre for the microwave and measuring purposes - one has cups on as well. I have a little dinky measuring jug that goes up to 250ml which is remarkably useful if I am baking and the half jug is a tiny shot glass marked in teaspoons and tablespoons, which is likewise v useful. If I ever get things sorted so that I can move the tyres so that they are not mainly blocking the door into the dining room where the ironing is tipped and get the ironing down to a manageable level then I can use the same jug for the kettle and the iron.

Actually, I can see one jug going in the bin tonight, reading that back.

lostinrates

Its really annoying me that my thanks are only sticking intermittently. Why???

We are getting ready to watch Richard the original tonight and wish him well de cluttering.

IHateBinBags

I am impressed at your self control.

It wasn't self control, it was me chaining myself to the radiator in the hall well away from the knife drawer for 2 hours

Byatt

Brighton_belle wrote: »

Wow Byatt, I am deeply moved by that. For me, your insights and process have been really helpful to read in terms of understanding others, so many thanks for sharing.

Thanks BB :A One of the reasons I post, although it is carthartic (I'll check the spelling in a minute :cool:) for me, is to show the many layers (and this onions has many layers! ) of the hoarder/potential hoarder. I am so looking forward to the day I can let people come into my home. I am a work in progress, but at least it's progress.

GQ, yes as you eloquently say, the "stuff" is the symptom not the cause. I might put that in my sig.

IHBB, good news on the license, :T, not so good on the paint. It's the filling the gaps/rebuilding the trenches mode I'm afraid, once something has gone.

cyclingyorkie

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

You have to get it away and out before he realises it's gone. Otherwise it never leaves.

I'm in agreement here!

However he will not part with the books from his degree - 1982-1988 (inc PHD that he hated and never wrote up.) Currently they are in a drawer under our bed - but they are 30 years out of date and use to neither man nor beast!:mad::mad::mad::mad:

IHateBinBags

It's the filling the gaps/rebuilding the trenches mode I'm afraid, once something has gone

That is what i'm beginning to understand, although he has told me that the rooms i've cleared have stayed that way, so progress in one respect.

Brighton_belle

cyclingyorkie wrote: »

I'm in agreement here!

However he will not part with the books from his degree - 1982-1988 (inc PHD that he hated and never wrote up.) Currently they are in a drawer under our bed - but they are 30 years out of date and use to neither man nor beast!:mad::mad::mad::mad:

I feel your pain CY, my DH is a book horder and that includes some very out of date technical books.

calicocat

Hi everyone
..............and WOW ! , everyone seems to be doing really well, amazing progress .
I however am not doing any clearing at the minutew still as need to sort a few things out family-wise first.

I really dont know if anyone can help but i am at a loss now as to what to do. The friend i have spoken of on here is spiralling down hill again. She says the house is worse than normal at the moment (but she is decorating so things always look worse before they look better). On top of this she is (no other way to put it being honest) is getting very (VERY) drunk most days which is compounding things with how she feels in general , and how her family are being towards her (as they are fed-up of her when she is like this), and the state of the house , which of course ultimately results in further low self esteem etc.
All the usual supportive thing are at the moment not really helping and i feel she is probably going to go balistic again quite soon.
As i do not hoard massively , and certainly not in the same way as her, nor have similar issues i am starting to run out of things to say or do to help again which i always do when things get this bad. Going to her house is probably not an option as when she is like this she wont let people (even me) in her house.
So , i thought i would post on here and see if any of you guys have any thoughts on how to either help or just support her i a way that i may not have done so far myself ??
I dont know if i am grabbing at staws here as maybe she is in a place that she cant be reached at the moment and best if i left alone for a while .
Anyhow any ideas and different ways to approach this gratefully recieved.

Well done everyone for all the fab clearing out done:T , at some point when i get time i will be back doing it myself:eek:.