Hoarding...not just on TV

meritaten

I am so sorry Jojo - and I respect that you need time. If you come back to read this - then you have my sincere condolences.

Just think on this Jojo - DESPITE your 'mother' and your upbringing you ARE capable of pure unselfish love. That is a major achievement in itself. many people never manage that - you are one of the blessed few. How do I know that? because you can love your cat! and your daughter (difficult tho she is).

Jojo - YOU are not your mother hun - you are nothing like her, so feel free to be yourself and stop consciously being opposite to her!

If you were here hun I would give you a big hug (and pray you dont kick me with those boots!) you arent - so just know that I have read most of your posts and grown to like and respect you.

Byatt

I am sorry you lost Oggie. (((((JoJo))))

miffy257

So sorry Jojo that Oggie has gone, lost my Daisy cat recently and it still hurts. Look after yourself and well done on walking away from your mum. You have to think of yourself. hugs to you .

mummyyof5

So sorry Jo...be kind to yourself and remember you are your own person not your mum xxx

415SanFran

[QUOTE=Jojo the Tightfisted;5377107

I hope everyone who hoards realises their need for help before its too late, I hope that everyone who is involved with one gets support. (QUOTE]

Thank you so much for starting this thread, and for a few of the people that have made me look at my house in a completely different way, from now on no putting "stuff" in another room to be sorted out later as was pointed out that doesn't happen, it just sits in the other room for evermore never to be looked at again!
Now, if you had asked me a week ago I would have said I was a collector, but NO, I AM A HOARDER there it is out in the open.

Here is a conversation that I had with my daughter this very afternoon.

ANNA:-" Do you still have all those bunnykins ornaments?
ME:- "Yeah why? Did you like them?
ANNA:- "No I thought they were horrible, but you never did put them on display and it just seemed a waste of money to me, could never see why you bought them for them to stay in boxes like that. Actually now that I think about it there is also your Portmeirion, and Royal Doulton tea sets, thimbles, tea spoons, ow and those silly teddy bears and for God's sake just how many cups with flowers/teddies/cats/dogs silly captions on, can one person need?...............Mum why are all those things still in boxes? Hell you might as well stick them on ebay for all you seem to enjoy them! I dislike those fairy plates that you have on the wall, but at least they are in use, that makes sense!
Me:- Mind your own damn business!
Anna:- It is my business when I don't want to come and visit you because I feel claustrophobic, because of all the boxes you have EVERYWHERE.
Me:- So if I died tomorrow what would you do with it all?
Anna:- Give it all to charity!
Me:- WHAT? You wouldn't want to keep ANY of it? Not even one small thing?
Anna:-Either you get rid of it or I will when the time comes, but frankly, I have a lot of things that I need to do I haven't got time to pore through a hundred boxes full of your carp.

You know, I love my Daughter and this collecting/hoarding has only come about since the children left home so it is still workable to get rid of.
The conversation that I had with her has really opened my eyes and I am slowly working on getting rid of a box a week on ebay, if it doesn't sell after say 3 listings then it will go to a charity shop.

whitewing

Great post SanFran. Have you watched any of the hoarder programmes - they are well worth a look.

For some things I try to work on a 'one in, one out' approach. Good with clothes. My wardrobe has a lot more free space than hubby's side.

meanmarie

JoJo....hugs to you, sorry about Oggy. Stay away from your mother, she may be ill, but dangerous.

I collect books in that I never seem to be able to part with them once bought. I have now started to use my library, which means that I don't buy as many books.

I have been getting rid of things over the past while...like SanFran, my children insist that the first thing here after my funeral would be a skip, so there is no point in keeping things thinking that some of them will want anything when I am gone...this hurts in relation to some things as my late father made pieces of furniture after he and my mother married in 1936 and I would like to think that they would stay in the family. I even intend to distribute my jewellery by degrees to my children, to avoid conflict when I die.

My house is still overcrowded with 'things' but by working on it as someone earlier said, even for 15 minutes a day, it will be cleared sometime.

Marie

mrcow

415SanFran wrote:

The conversation that I had with her has really opened my eyes and I am slowly working on getting rid of a box a week on ebay, if it doesn't sell after say 3 listings then it will go to a charity shop.

Noooo......keep going with Ebay, don't give it away. Someone will eventually buy it. Just relist on free weekends. It's amazing what people buy.

415SanFran

I don't have a TV so I have only seen a few of the hoarder programmes on line, but as my house is not like that I can easily look the other way, and honestly say that's not me, but YET is also lingering there in the background.

One in one out is a really good idea but not yet, I'm OK with clothes as I only like a few brands and they are expensive so they tend to come off ebay, however treated right should last a good few years, I'm quite a classic dresser rather than fashionable, books again, not to bad and they are not overtaking the place, I have boxes of china and plated silver for the most part. Once I can start selling I will also get rid of boxes and bubble wrap as well, so I should even see a difference from the start.
I am going to start this week with the Carlton ware as that has probably been around the longest.
I think to put some kind of order on things if I get rid of the oldest first that would make sense.
I have had a real think about it all and there is only one collection that I would like to keep, that is a set of Royal Worcester candle snuffers that is King Henry the 8th and all his wives, I will even have the room to actually display them, if I can get rid of about 25 silly tea-pots.
Unless anyone else has any good ideas of how to get some order in what comes first, I have some Royal Doulton Winnie the Pooh stuff, but I was thinking of keeping that till xmas. I told Anna about this plan and she huffed and blowed and made me promise that was going to be the only thing that was "Saved for a rainy day"

calicocat

someone posted something about a relatives carpet needing changing..........mine does too..and put it off for the exact same reason,too much furniture and no-where to move it to .BUT it needs doing, and the longer i leave it the worse it will get...i dont want to get to 'pongy carpet' stage :eek: i will have to look at this as i tend to have a tendancy to keep things too long , wouldnt say i'm a hoarder , but i think i have the potential there.