Allowance for clothes

Lunar_Eclipse

Cat501 wrote: »

I don't know really,I guess not everyone has an ambitious nature.

I agree. DH is like that. With an IQ approaching Einstein's, I find it infuriating.:D

And good for you. As much as I dislike tattoos (yet have found myself fancying one now I'm older!), I admire your stance in letting your daughter live her life.

Cat501

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I agree. DH is like that. With an IQ approaching Einstein's, I find it infuriating.:D

And good for you. As much as I dislike tattoos (yet have found myself fancying one now I'm older!), I admire your stance in letting your daughter live her life.

Thank you Lol isn't it funny, I'd never even thought about a tattoo until I was well into my thirties, and I know a good few people who are the same! Perhaps it's because they are becoming mainstream? Oh dear, I am a conformist after all:D:D

I still only have one small tattoo on my back, but I have a couple of piercings, I didn't get the first one till I was about 32

Spottedleopard

I actually can't believe how dramatic some people on this thread are being!

My sister had an interest in clothes when she was a similar age- doesn't mean she cared about her looks it meant she cared about FASHION. From the age of 12 she has made her own clothes, and is now doing a fashion degree at university. She showed it a little earlier, thats all.

Media brainwashing at its best.

TheConways

I find some of the comments on here really bizarre. The OP isn't suggesting her daughter goes out dressed inappropriately - just that she lets her daughter budget and choose her own clothes. Clearly she has an interest in style as she is looking for unique pieces in charity shops.

I was exactly the same as a 9-13 year old - I loved raiding my mum (and dads!) 70s wardrobe for outfits. I learnt to sew and would modify old clothes into wearable ones at a young age.

As long as your daughter is wearing "age appropriate" clothing, I think you should encourage her interest assuming it does not conflict with school work; you could even teach her to sew/knit/make her own clothes, which is a dying art in an age of mass-produced Primark gear.

rachbc

Whilst i don't give her the money my 5 yo chooses her own clothes - I realsied fairly early if I buy her something she doesn't like it won't get worn so its a total waste of money! In fact she's been 'choosing' her own clothes since she coudl dress herslef - she picks what she wants each day and wears it. Nursery thought it hilarious that she had a fortnight period of wearing her swim cossie over all her clothes. She not subject to any pernicous influnces, a horrid brat or obsessed with her external appearance she just likes choosing clothes - mainly she chooses brightly coloured jeans and t shirts with animals on as she wants to be a vet!

She has no aversion to getting her careful chosen outfit muddy, dirty or wet, infact thats considered a bonus as she gets to choose another clean dry outfit!

I wouldn't tell her what colour pens to use to do her drawing why would I tell her she can't wear red cords with a purple shirt (even though it makes her look like a bag lady!). I'm really shocked that some parents are so controlling - not every 8 year old given the choice is going to pick something 'inappropriate'.

Personally I see no harm is saying - 'you have £x to spend - what would you like?' Its a great lesson in budgeting, making choices etc

Dunroamin

rachbc wrote: »

Whilst i don't give her the money my 5 yo chooses her own clothes - I realsied fairly early if I buy her something she doesn't like it won't get worn so its a total waste of money! In fact she's been 'choosing' her own clothes since she coudl dress herslef - she picks what she wants each day and wears it. Nursery thought it hilarious that she had a fortnight period of wearing her swim cossie over all her clothes. She not subject to any pernicous influnces, a horrid brat or obsessed with her external appearance she just likes choosing clothes - mainly she chooses brightly coloured jeans and t shirts with animals on as she wants to be a vet!

I'm afraid I'd be worried about a situation where a five year old could successfully defy her mother's instructions in this way.

rachbc

Dunroamin wrote: »

I'm afraid I'd be worried about a situation where a five year old could successfully defy her mother's instructions in this way.

Who said she's defying me? She not defying my instructions - I don't instruct her to wear things. All her clothes are in a drawer - she opens the drawer, chooses what she wants and puts it on. Periodically I'll have a sort through and check what fits, if there are any gaps that we need to buy etc and find something thats rarely been worn - I'll remend her that its there is she wants to wear it and sometimes she'll start wearing it, other time she tells me she doesn't like it so I offer to give it to a friend. Most of her clothes are from charity shops, hand me downs or H&M so its not a problem.

She does pick weather inapproriate things sometimes - if I get her to check out the window if she thinks its sunny enough to wear whatever sundress and she'll often disappear and put a jumper/ long sleever t under it. Problem solved - she's warm enough - I'm happy - if slightly embrassed her eccentic apperance!

last time we went shopping we looked through her stuff - decied she needed short sleeve t shirts, a dress and a cardi - we coudln't find a cardi we liked and she saw plenty of other stuff she wanted but i reminded her what we had decided she needed and we stuck to our list. She chose 3 t shirts and a lovely yellow sundress with butterflies all for about £10 in h&m and they all get worn.

I pick my battles and clothes isn't something I have choosed to battle my kids about. Doesn't make me a pushover in other aspects of my parenting - I'm afraid I'm bit of a tiger mother in other, to me more important, areas!!

TheConways

Good post from RachBC. If you start being overly prescriptive with what your kids wear, they will rebel on things that are genuinely important. Sounds like a sensible approach to me.

TheConways

runningwoman wrote: »

Utterly perfect :T

I certainly know my mother was very much along the same lines as some earlier posters - any interest in clothing or appearance, however innocent, was vanity or over sexualisation and her daughter "ought" to have been interested in other things.

My father was a bit like this - I went to school in the US where there was no uniform, so I could wear what I liked (within reason). There was a school dress code - no tops that are too low cut, and no short skirts/shorts, no piercings beyond earrings - but he saw my interest in fashion as something frivolous and not to be encouraged.

My mother was the opposite - as a former model, she loved make-up and clothes and could understand me also liking them!

My interest in style and fashion made no difference to the fact I excelled at Maths and now have a masters degree in the subject and good career. I'd much rather had a daughter who cared about her appearance rather than was slovenly.

rachbc

TheConways wrote: »

My interest in style and fashion made no difference to the fact I excelled at Maths and now have a masters degree in the subject and good career. I'd much rather had a daughter who cared about her appearance rather than was slovenly.

Did you not get the memo - you know that one that said girls can't be clever and pretty!! Opps. I am suprised - I think its be circulating since about 1950!!