Nice people thread part 6 - thrice by twice as nice :)

lostinrates

PasturesNew wrote: »

edited to remove something pn had written.

Does your guilt help her? I don't think so. Does it help you? I don't think so there either.

You feel she is critical of you, and feel uncomfortable, seems a good reason to go.

I think it was brave and open minded of you to share at all, as you felt wary of sharing space. I think however, that its the hardest combination of all, two ladies of an age to know their own minds and opinions in a place together.

MiddyMum

PN - Why the hell does your landlord put you down? She is taking your rent money, she should treat you with respect!

lostinrates

MiddyMum wrote: »

PN - Why the hell does your landlord put you down? She is taking your rent money, she should treat you with respect!

Some people just cannot help it. They usually don't realise they are doing it. It doesn't do to take it personally, but if surrounded by it, especially with no relief of a working day it is wearing in the extreme.

All pn can do is know that some people would critise ANY ONE and its not PN's issue.

MiddyMum

It just makes me feel sad reading it, and when I asked where we all lived a few days ago, PN said she was lodger scum. Just become someone doesnt own a house, doesnt make you scum! It seems some homeowners think they are above others, because they owe the bank money, odd! The lady on the first floor of my flat has a son who is a barrister, and boy does she know it, she refers to the flat that I rent, as the ghetto, yes that's right...the ghetto. Apparently, she saw the cheap carpets my landlady put in, that's how she came to that conclusion. She has an air of arrogance about her when she sees us in the corridor, I am guessing it's because she is a homeowner and we arent, YET.

vivatifosi

lostinrates wrote: »

All pn can do is know that some people would critise ANY ONE and its not PN's issue.

It's also probably why the questions are being asked as to how long PN will stay. People have probably told her that no-one will stay because of her attitude (not talking about PN there of course).

LydiaJ

lostinrates wrote: »

Right, thats my pelargoniums in for the season. They are COVERED in potential cuttings lydia.

Are you open as to colours of leaf and flower? I can have you well stocked up for your conservatory!

Lovely. We must arrange to come and see you soon. Thank you.

lostinrates wrote: »

Some people just cannot help it. They usually don't realise they are doing it. It doesn't do to take it personally, but if surrounded by it, especially with no relief of a working day it is wearing in the extreme.

All pn can do is know that some people would critise ANY ONE and its not PN's issue.

I'm sure she's not perverse enough to be deliberately making PN's life a misery if she wants her to stay. She's almost certainly completely unaware of how her manner makes PN feel.

A more bloody minded and assertive lodger might be able to educate the LL in how to treat lodgers, but I don't think that PN would be the right person to do that. She's talked before about how she reacts where there are problems - her instinct is to run away or hide, and especially so when she feels she's at a disadvantage (as she inevitably does with a LL because it's their house). The trouble is that any two human beings sharing space are going to come up against some problems (whether that's a few or lots), and it becomes increasingly difficult to run away or hide if you live with the person.

PN's described her experiences, and it seems to me that her general approach to sharing a house is to try not to get in the way, at all, ever. She doesn't feel able to choose a TV channel to watch unless the other person's out of the house; she finds it hard to ask how things work in the kitchen, etc etc. This wouldn't end up working well for her even with the most delightful and accepting LL in the world, because it's never ever going to feel remotely like home for her, and she's never going to feel able to relax. With an insensitive LL, it's a nightmare.

PN, could you possibly afford to rent somewhere alone, even if it was tiny or in a horrible part of town, or with no parking, or other disadvantages? You'd have to view it as "unsatisfactory stop gap while I look for somewhere decent, but less unsatisfactory than lodging with somebody".

PasturesNew

LydiaJ wrote: »

even if it was tiny or in a horrible part of town, or with no parking, or other disadvantages? You'd have to view it as "unsatisfactory stop gap while I look for somewhere decent, but less unsatisfactory than lodging with somebody".

Even those, inc basic bills, come in at £750-800/month .... so 50%+ more than now..

I'll have to ignore it and work on the exit plan for January.

PasturesNew

*deleted rubbish excerpt from Life of PN*

MiddyMum

Pastures, you seem to be living with my mother...

YoungBusinessman

PN i can relate to that, there is so called professionals at my work who act in this way.