Bigoted best friend?

shocked222

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

I do know that. It's used by Asian people for the same effect, and the first time I heard it it was being used as an insult towards me by a bunch of other Asian people.

Why then, do I use it?

For the same reason that gay people use the tern "Queer", black people use the N word or women use the word "Feminist".

In my context it enpowers the user, by publicly stating there is nothing wrong with living the way I choose, or with being born the way I am.

I didn't want to get involved in the erm "debate" but I knew that's what you were doing (reclaiming the insult), so I personally didn't find it offensive but as with any racial slur it can cause things to get a bit heated.

Got no idea what the lychee thing is about though lol!

I'd rather be a person than a fruit :rotfl:

Blue_Elephant

RuthnJasper wrote: »

Hehe - a lychee is a Chinese fruit (quite tasty, though a little unsettlingly like what you'd imagine a whole eyeball to look like - or that might just be me...:o). It's white and squishy and very juicy - about the size of a golf ball - with pink knobbly skin (which you don't eat). Not sure what the analogy means though - maybe that one is pretty to look at (the lychee) whereas the other is a bit rough and rugged (the coconut) but both are sweet and nourishing on the inside...? Getting a bit late for philosophy for me though! ;-)

hehe thank you! I have heard of the fruit, just not the analogy. I like your version though :P

MandM90

shocked222 wrote: »

Do you know what I think really upset me - it wasn't that she declared that she "hated" black people (she didn't and doesn't in her own little way, they are "alright", she "wouldn't hurt one for the world", wouldn't say the n word or firebomb a house or anything), in her own crazy world she isn't a racist she just "knows" that the truth is white people are more evolved and blacks are closer to animals, it's just the way things are, white people are superior (obviously her view not mine). So in her mind, she isn't racist and what she said wasn't hurtful, just fact. She wouldn't harm a black person, she just thinks she is better than them...

Its so twisted...

She clearly knows very little about evolution, too :rotfl:Dumb and bigoted (though I suppose the latter presupposes the former). Sounds like a great person.

shocked222

MandM90 wrote: »

She clearly knows very little about evolution, too :rotfl:Dumb and bigoted (though I suppose the latter presupposes the former). Sounds like a great person.

Yup. In her head, it was absolute gospel truth and she even referred me to a world famous museum which I could visit and see for myself that it is scientific fact...:rotfl: I'm pretty sure this particular museum would be shut down were this true!

Person_one

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

For the same reason that gay people use the term "Queer", black people use the N word or some women use the word "Feminist".

You appear to have seriously misunderstood the word 'feminist'! :eek:

Blue_Elephant

Person_one wrote: »

You appear to have seriously misunderstood the word 'feminist'! :eek:

No I really haven't. The sheer number of people that use that word in a derogatory way is appalling. Equally the number of people I know who state that though they may have feminist views they wouldn't use the word to describe their views because of the negative connotations about them. The world is a strange place.

Person_one

Blue_Elephant wrote: »

No I really haven't. The sheer number of people that use that word in a derogatory way is appalling. Equally the number of people I know who state that though they may have feminist views they wouldn't use the word to describe their views because of the negative connotations about them. The world is a strange place.

Women who use it aren't 'reclaiming' it in the same way as queer and so on though, we're using it correctly. It wasn't originally an insult that we're trying to change the meaning of!

kafkathecat

Shocked222, It may not be something that you feel able to do, but if no one tackles people on their racist views but merely avoids them, they will continue to hold those views. Could you not get together some information to counter what someone has evidently told her. There is a lot of racism dressed up as science out there (like the American study claiming to find black women the least attractive or the bell curve nonsense) so if your friend has been introduced to some of these theories she may need some evidence of their inadequacies. If your friend is an otherwise good person it might be worth a try. Whether you stay friends is another matter.

VfM4meplse

meritaten wrote: »

I find this remark offensive actually - it implies racism in that it means white on the inside and black/brown outside. and the Lychee???????????

Most of the posters on here deplore racism - and here YOU are declaring yourself to be white inside a black skin!

what part of 'we are ALL human' don't you understand?

I was waiting for someone to jump on this comment. Your accusation of racism is mindless and to a degree typical of apologist white liberals.

Coconut is used endemically amongst non-white groups not on reference to colour, but attitude. I was using it as an example from the comment of the previous poster. A coconut is dark on the outside, white on the inside. A lychee is white on the outside, but has a dark heart. I would much rather operate with a clear conscience, regardless of packaging.

RuthnJasper is right btw, lychees are delicious!

jackyann

I keep wondering why this came out at that moment.
You say OP that you are close to your friend's children. They need to know why this adult has disappeared from their lives - does your friend have insight about that, I wonder?
If you have been that close and there are children involved, then you need proper communication. You will know best whether to begin with a letter, a phone call, or to meet (without the children). You will also know bext how long to wait - don't leave it too long, but do get a bit of distance.
Personally I don't give a hoot about science, evolution or "reclaiming" certain words. I would see this as about you & your friend.
And be kind to yourself. whatever comes out of this, your world has been thrown off-kilter.