Relocating overseas

Moominmamma

Glad you're enjoying the thread Cat, rest assured I shall update if we go. Probably with tales of woe of being a social pariah, the dog having been impounded, and the kids refusing to let the merest morsel of Korean cuisine pass their lips and subsisting on a diet comprised solely of Krispy Kremes. And yes, I have indeed checked to see whether Seoul has a Krispy Kreme outlet. That's all the motivation I'm gonna need to start negotiating my way around the subway system

Euro, thanks for some very sound advice. Tbh, the more I read this thread, and think about going in general, the more I feel that I would in fact be disappointed if, for whatever reason, we ultimately don't go. And whilst I am indeed a people pleaser, dh is very rarely one of those people - a girl needs some respite

turn3r

We have been expats for 4 years now and away to move to our third country. We are fortunate that we have our rent, school, bills like electric and a car paid for. On the whole we have a great family life, better than we could have had in the UK as we have more time together. I do however miss working and will be hoping to find something once we move country and get settled!

I do have days when I miss my family and friends, especially when we had our daughter and was in hospital and the only visitor was my hubbie! We skype, email, phone family all the time and get lots of visitors and visits back to the UK are fabulous but very busy times and not what i would consider a relaxing holiday!

It is a fabulous opportunity and i am very grateful to be able to do this, but i would say you need to make sure what the company will pay for and try and find out all the hidden costs of moving, for example curtains, electrics, car and a big one for us the hidden costs of schools like the uniforms, shoes, books, computers and trips! The other huge cost is the first supermarket shop for all your store cupboard items and cleaning products. And I would advise to keep enough money in the bank to pay for a flight home.

I would also say give yourselves at least 12 months to settle in! And enjoy the location and all it has to offer! There is a good book called expat woman confessions which i got on kindle which has useful tips and resources! Good luck in your adventure!

Moominmamma

Thanks Turn3r. School expenses are another thing I hadn't considered. The kids' school will be paid for, but yes, I guess uniform and all the extra-curricular stuff could well be significantly more expensive than it is now - another thing for me to investigate! I will have a look for that book too.

Happy moving

scooterpig

euronorris wrote: »

Oh yeah. This is a BIG thing. At least, it was for me. It was a complete surprise who bothered to stay in contact, and who didn't. At one point, I came close to losing my closest friend due to the lack of effort on her part. Thankfully, after an honest chat, we got our friendship back on track, but the loss of other friendships still hit me hard.

Oh, and be prepared for a few people to be angry at you for leaving. And then also expecting you to travel here, there and everywhere to meet up with them when you're back. They just don't understand how little time you have, and how many people you are trying to see in such a short time. My motto is now 'I will be here on XX date. Either you can come along at that time too, or I will miss you this time. Sorry.' and leave it at that. There will always be one or two people who will tell you that you're selfish for doing this. You're not, so stand firm.

So very true. People always want you to run about daft when you go home for a visit. When we went back to pack up our house, I had one friend who moaned because I couldn't travel 30 miles to see her. It was the deep freeze winter, the removal men were having a nightmare time just getting to us to pack each day, I had no car and the limited public transport was a disaster because of the snow and ice. I did blow a gasket at her - her attitude was well, you've travelled 5000 miles, what's another 30. She didn't understand I had a million things to do and I was having to try and see other people too.

The other thing that happens that if people get annoyed if you take holiday time and don't come home. They get their two weeks in the sun or whatever each year. They don't realise that coming back to the UK for a visit and running round everyone is stressful and is definitely not a holiday.

I have to confess I was really glad to get back on the plane to come back to the US after Christmas as it was just so stressful!

A 40-foot container isn't too bad - we had a 40-foot high top and that took the contents of our 3-bedroom house - just. I have a lot of delicate items and glass though so they had to be really carefully packed. Ask for some air freight too, as your container could take a couple of months to arrive and clear customs. We got something like 200 kilos of air freight, so could take clothes, some books, some kitchen stuff and the like. Air freight won't go on the same flight as you, but should arrive in a week or so. And make sure you take something like a favourite ornament or picture in your luggage - something that feels like home.

thorsoak

Only just come to this thread - let me give you my perspective on it ...as the mum of someone whose OH was given a promotion which would take him to Singapore.....This was in 1995.

DD and DSIL came round to tell us - they'd been married for 5 years by then, and when they came round with "news" - you can guess what we thought - so to be told that they were going to SE Asia for 3 years - maybe more - was not what we expected to hear. I thought about it for a while, then decided that back in the 1930s when my parents married, they moved to S England from Scotland away from their families, but stayed close - and they were 13 hours away from "home" by train. Now S E Asia is 13 hours away by plane, so I thought to myself if my mum could do it, then so could my daughter. The company paid for one flight home per year for them - and we went out to see them (our first long-haul flight, I seem to remember). Two years later, whilst still in Singapore, they had their first baby (our first grandchild too) - we flew out there 2 weeks later and stayed for 3 weeks, helping where we could, and generally "babyworshipping". Because we'd been out the year previously we felt that we knew the area a bit, so could go around on our own as well.

A year later the company moved them (a promotion for DSIL) from where they were to Japan - and baby no 2 was born in Japan. Again, we did the same - met her when she was 2 weeks old, and they came over each summer/we went over either in the spring or autumn, so we did see them.

Three years later, another move - this time to Hong Kong - and they were there for 5 years before another move - to the USA where they are now. Grandchildren are very cosmopolitan - they've really benefited from their upbringing - they're both teenagers now and although they have British passports, the longest amount of time they have spent in the UK was during the SARS epidemic in 2003, when they came home for the whole summer!

We're still close - I talk to DD at least twice a week on the phone - get a cheap tariff from BT - we facebook (grandchildren also facebook me), and I don't feel I'm missing out on grandchildren time. OK - I am envious when friends say - oh - granchildren are popping in this evening - but at the same time, I haven't had to become a "granny-nanny" in order to have special time with them.

For DD and DSIL, it really has made a vast difference to their lives - they have a far higher standard of living than they would have done had they stayed in the UK. OK - DD's career had to be put to one side, but as she says at least she had the luxury of being able to stay home with the children when they were little and not have to go out to work. In that situation, she said that she developed a really good network of expat friends - some British, some American, some Italian, German, Danish, as well as friends from the countries in which they lived.

They still have a house in the UK - at first they rented out their first home, but after some years they bought another house over here, which they also rented out - they wanted to "keep up" on the property ladder - it was what they would have wanted to move into had they returned to the UK. As things are now though, they have sold their first house, but still have the 2nd. They have also bought their house in the USA.

Your mums will come round when they realise just how much it will benefit you and your children - go for it and enjoy!

PS - you'll need to get supplies of marmite, marmalade, bisto and Cadburys sent to you on a regular basis! I always have crisps, pork pies and quavers ready for DD when she comes out of the airport

Moominmamma

The friends thing is a tough call. I know just from being away from "home" within the UK how hard it is to try and catch up with everyone when you're back. I had a really close friend who emigrated to NZ and after a few years both of us became increasingly slack at keeping in touch, life goes on I guess, but I like to think that if she was back over here or I went over there for any reason that we would pick up where we left off.

I just asked dh whether we get any air freight and he's not sure. Don't really fancy living out of a suitcase for a month or more though so let's hope so!!

Thorsoak it's really interesting to see things from a parent's pov, you and your family certainly sound as though you have handled the distance superbly well. I would love my mum to view our (potential!) move in a similar spirit but unfortunately rather than focusing on what a fantastic opportunity it is for us, I fear she will see it as a personal affront

I will have to add tins of Heinz Sausage and Beans to the care package list, ds would happily live on those _pale_

conradmum

Moominmamma wrote: »

Glad you're enjoying the thread Cat, rest assured I shall update if we go. Probably with tales of woe of being a social pariah, the dog having been impounded, and the kids refusing to let the merest morsel of Korean cuisine pass their lips and subsisting on a diet comprised solely of Krispy Kremes. And yes, I have indeed checked to see whether Seoul has a Krispy Kreme outlet. That's all the motivation I'm gonna need to start negotiating my way around the subway system

Euro, thanks for some very sound advice. Tbh, the more I read this thread, and think about going in general, the more I feel that I would in fact be disappointed if, for whatever reason, we ultimately don't go. And whilst I am indeed a people pleaser, dh is very rarely one of those people - a girl needs some respite

This is the problem we found. Once we'd started thinking seriously about living abroad, we realised that if we didn't take the plunge we'd always be wondering - what if?

property.advert

You need to make sure that you fully understand the implications and that any more instigated at the behest of an employer should be financially rewarded not only now but going forward.

Some essentials.

Housing - it can be ruinously expensive in some places. You may not wish to buy (do not sell out of the UK market) and a realistic housing allowance is a pre requisite.

Serviced apartment on day one for at least 6 months. You have no idea where you want to live and you cannot find the right place in a month or two.

Paid schooling of your choice is another pre requisite. Check this includes into university. Note also that were you to return to the UK at the time of university, you would be required to pay overseas fees which could be (in today's money) upwards of £30,000 per year !

What about FX risk ? Will they manage your FX risk in your home currency ? In Singapore for instance, the rate was 3 for £1 but that shifted to 2 for £1. Of course your SGD savings were worth more £ but your UK assets were devalued 33% in SGD terms.

Taxation may be lower but make sure you fully understand it. Look into permanent residency rules overseas and nationality issues. Great benefits can accrue including dual nationality in some cases. These can have negatives, such as military service etc.

Do not underestimate the cost of living overseas. It is always more expensive than you think and you need to be sure on how many flights they will pay for and in what class.

Do the sums, make sure you have exit guarantees and a golden parachute if things go wrong and if you are still 25% to 50% ahead financially, go for it.

Blue_Monkey

property.advert wrote: »

You need to make sure that you fully understand the implications and that any more instigated at the behest of an employer should be financially rewarded not only now but going forward.

Some essentials.

Housing - it can be ruinously expensive in some places. You may not wish to buy (do not sell out of the UK market) and a realistic housing allowance is a pre requisite.

Serviced apartment on day one for at least 6 months. You have no idea where you want to live and you cannot find the right place in a month or two.

Paid schooling of your choice is another pre requisite. Check this includes into university. Note also that were you to return to the UK at the time of university, you would be required to pay overseas fees which could be (in today's money) upwards of £30,000 per year !

What about FX risk ? Will they manage your FX risk in your home currency ? In Singapore for instance, the rate was 3 for £1 but that shifted to 2 for £1. Of course your SGD savings were worth more £ but your UK assets were devalued 33% in SGD terms.

Taxation may be lower but make sure you fully understand it. Look into permanent residency rules overseas and nationality issues. Great benefits can accrue including dual nationality in some cases. These can have negatives, such as military service etc.

Do not underestimate the cost of living overseas. It is always more expensive than you think and you need to be sure on how many flights they will pay for and in what class.

Do the sums, make sure you have exit guarantees and a golden parachute if things go wrong and if you are still 25% to 50% ahead financially, go for it.

Some good advice here, though from my experience, most companies will give you 1-2 months temp accommodation in a serviced apartment initially (not 6 months unless a very tricky location).

Another thing that springs to mind is that one of my long-term expats who had moved to about 4 countries with our employer over 10+ years finally decided to come back to the UK and refused any more assignments... He said that he got fed up at being at the employer's mercy - ie when they said "You now need to move" he and his family pretty much had to go... Get your OH to speak to other expats in his company to see what the general feel is with this kind of thing. Some people don't mind moving at the company's request as and when, but others do...

thorsoak

Blue_Monkey wrote: »

Some good advice here, though from my experience, most companies will give you 1-2 months temp accommodation in a serviced apartment initially (not 6 months unless a very tricky location).

Another thing that springs to mind is that one of my long-term expats who had moved to about 4 countries with our employer over 10+ years finally decided to come back to the UK and refused any more assignments... He said that he got fed up at being at the employer's mercy - ie when they said "You now need to move" he and his family pretty much had to go... Get your OH to speak to other expats in his company to see what the general feel is with this kind of thing. Some people don't mind moving at the company's request as and when, but others do...

Very true ....DD's OH was moved (admittedly with promotion) from SE Asia to Japan, to Hong Kong, to US in a period from 1995 to 2006. They've been in the US now for 6 years, so this might be considered a permanent move....