Relocating overseas

Spendless

Nothing to add as I've never lived abroad, just to ask if you intend returning to the UK in 3 years will your eldest be Secondary school age?

Just wondering if you'd be able to apply for a place from abroad? Only because our friends returning from abroad after several years, with children that were now Secondary school age were initially put in the about to go into special measures school as that was the only one with spaces.

Moominmamma

Scooterpig, thanks for sharing your experiences - it's good to know that whilst you found things tough at first they are getting better. I would be far more tentative about going if I was working, but because I'm not and my youngest started school in September I'm feeling kinda stuck in a rut and open to new experiences.

I am completely feeling your pain re. grocery shopping, I do mine online and dh is always amazed how long it takes me even now, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to get on if we go! On a positive note though it will be less tempting to sneak a few goodies into my trolley if I can't identify them in the first place :rotfl:

We're really lucky in that dh's company will provide us with a relocation team who will help us with schools, accommodation etc. I think he said we would get a 40 foot container, so I imagine most of what we would want to take would go in there. They also give us a budget for new electrical appliances if ours aren't adaptable. And they will sort the tax thing out to make sure he's netting what he is here plus an upgrade, as well as paying his NI over here while (if!) we're away, so all in all it's looking good.

Spendless if we decide to go I will definitely look into the secondary school application process, thanks for mentioning it because I guess I would've just assumed it would have been ok to do it from over there, I must double check!

Once again, thanks so much to everyone who's taken the time to reply for all your suggestions and advice

lostinrates

Also worth checking for is if their is a group called International women or international womens forum in seoul. I believe their is an american womens group.....they might be inclusive. A friend of mine who is in seoul (she is korean) her mother is a member of it.

Also, you will be less isolated than some others because you will meet peoe through the children. When i first went to italy with my italian husband, it was not his home city, and he didn't know peoe, but he understood wverything and could communicate. We went out with other italians and there were times of frustration where i could not keep up! My husbands boss was very kind and his (american) wife met me through the day for coffee, or to go book shopping and stuff, but i did find it hard to meet friends my age (then in my twenties) because women wh i would have found a natural bond with were at work or having babies!

Now, the other thing is.....that happens in uk too! Moat of my friends are working or having children..you cope, you meet new people, make new friends ships. Alot of my uk friendships, and the international ones, are very email based anyway, it seems to be the way much of the world works, and if i live in wiltshire and my best friends are in afghanistan and peru, its email or nothing really, and i can do that whether i am here or in milan, or anywhere!

Find the english speaking groups, but also, vitally, see if their is someoen you can meet, probably through your husbands work, who might want to soeak english with you and help you with basic korean, take you to shops etc, some one who has been an expat in uk might be ideally positioned to help with this. Making a bridge into the culture is key.

I have always known people who work as expats and experience as little as possible of the culture, but thats a huge loss. Making a local friend will be invaluable, but hard work.

It might also be worth trying some kinmchi And kimbap soon. I like kimbap but i have to say, i find kimchi an aquired taste. Dietary issues can be a really big deal moving so far!

Moominmamma

Thanks for that, lost

Have just googled the group you mentioned and found Seoul International Women's Association, I'm not sure whether that's what you meant but either way it looks quite interesting and they have a "newcomer" group too, so that could be helpful.

I think that it's pretty much inevitable that a lot of our socialising (assuming there is any - although having spent three years unable to drive and living in deepest, darkest Shropshire I'm fairly self-sufficient, lol) will be with other expats, but I completely agree that it would be such a waste not to try and immerse ourselves in Korean culture to some extent. In both Greece and France all of our friends were local, but Korea just seems far more daunting!! I do have a (rather rusty!) TEFL qualification though, so your lesson-swapping idea could be a good one.

Think I might be struggling with Kimchi and kimbap, pretty parochial here - I wanted coriander and chilies the other day and our local Tesco didn't even have them!

lostinrates

Moominmamma wrote: »

Thanks for that, lost

Have just googled the group you mentioned and found Seoul International Women's Association, I'm not sure whether that's what you meant but either way it looks quite interesting and they have a "newcomer" group too, so that could be helpful.

I think that it's pretty much inevitable that a lot of our socialising (assuming there is any - although having spent three years unable to drive and living in deepest, darkest Shropshire I'm fairly self-sufficient, lol) will be with other expats, but I completely agree that it would be such a waste not to try and immerse ourselves in Korean culture to some extent. In both Greece and France all of our friends were local, but Korea just seems far more daunting!! I do have a (rather rusty!) TEFL qualification though, so your lesson-swapping idea could be a good one.

Think I might be struggling with Kimchi and kimbap, pretty parochial here - I wanted coriander and chilies the other day and our local Tesco didn't even have them!

If you areallowed to work then tefl could be brilliant way to meet people. Dh ran an informal class in his office and i often used to do it when he was doing his real job and it was good as i became me not just his wife at work socialising...which there was a fair bit of:D

BugglyB

Hi,

Just a note here from the childs perspective. My parents moved us abroad aged 8 and we moved every two or three years from then on.

When I came back to England aged 18 I was sad because a lot of my friends had mates they'd known since they were 3 and so on, and I had to get to know a new set of people all over again.

As I get into my thirties I'm so pleased I had that experience. A lot of friends have lost touch with those 'lifelong' buddies and have taken that really hard. On the other hand I have the resilience to be ok on my own, and to know that most friendships come and go, and that's ok. I am confident walking into a room full of strangers and introducing myself. I am happy getting on a plane to a place I've never been.

Moominmamma

BugglyB wrote: »

Hi,

I have the resilience to be ok on my own, and to know that most friendships come and go, and that's ok. I am confident walking into a room full of strangers and introducing myself. I am happy getting on a plane to a place I've never been.

I would love that for my kids, Buggly

Cat501

I have no experience or wisdom to offer, just wanted to say how much I'm enjoying reading this thread, it's fascinating and very entertaining!

You sound really open to the idea of going moomin, I do think it sounds like a great opportunity! Good luck! If you go it would be great to get regular postings telling us of your experiences

euronorris

You've had such good advice/experience given already, so I'll just keep to this to a couple of things I couldn't see mentioned above:

1) Discuss with your hubby what you will do if you get there and one of you hates it, but the other doesn't
2) Have enough money in the bank to repatriate yourselves (I'd try to get this in his contract, but you can never be certain that his company won't act like d*cks and ignore their contractual obligations, or he may hate the job/his colleagues and want to leave - so have a back up plan)
3) Carrying on from 2, ensure you know of some good lawyers in case you need them, and that you have the money set aside to pay for them

To help you settle in, language classes are essential IMO, as is making friends (as someone said above, accept every invite and also join expat groups etc).

Make sure you have good internet, and a good PC/laptop so you can communicate with your family and friends back home.

Your Mum will be fine, I'm sure. Even if it takes her a little while.

The only other thing I would be wary of, is the fact that you are a self-confessed people pleaser. Please think long and hard about whether this is something that you actually want to do (and not just because you know it will make your hubby happy). Living abroad can be great, but it can also be very challenging and people often underestimate how much they will miss their family, friends and routine back home. If it's not for you, look at other options (like you and the kids staying in the UK, but visiting often - will the company pay for this, and if so, how often? etc).

Good luck!

euronorris

scooterpig wrote: »

Be prepared too to lose contact with people back home. My friends back home cried when I saw them the last time before moving. They made promises about emailing, and visiting. They've emailed me roughly three times in two years. I constantly emailed to start with, now I've given up. I miss my parents and phone them about once a week.

Oh yeah. This is a BIG thing. At least, it was for me. It was a complete surprise who bothered to stay in contact, and who didn't. At one point, I came close to losing my closest friend due to the lack of effort on her part. Thankfully, after an honest chat, we got our friendship back on track, but the loss of other friendships still hit me hard.

Oh, and be prepared for a few people to be angry at you for leaving. And then also expecting you to travel here, there and everywhere to meet up with them when you're back. They just don't understand how little time you have, and how many people you are trying to see in such a short time. My motto is now 'I will be here on XX date. Either you can come along at that time too, or I will miss you this time. Sorry.' and leave it at that. There will always be one or two people who will tell you that you're selfish for doing this. You're not, so stand firm.