how long is reasonable?

sharrison778

BJV wrote: »

But the married thing for me personally would not be a big thing it does not mean that he is any less committed to you.

I know he is committed to me. I dont doubt that. Its more about the practical implications.

I'm not particularly fussed about getting married myself. I sortof like the idea of marriage, just not the idea of a wedding. But its not a big issue for me.

I would, however, like to have kids. Not immediately, but in a few years.

And thats where a divorce becomes important. How do you tell your kids that daddy is married to someone other than their mother? For me, thats just not on. I wouldnt bring children into that kind of arrangement.

POPPYOSCAR

Judi wrote: »

I think you know if 'he/she' is the one. If the love and the commitment is there what is a peice of paper and a ceremony?

I grew up being told that you 'must' be married before you had children or you would be frowned on. It was important to me to get married before i had my kids because of this. Pretty old fashioned values really but i'm a lot more liberal minded now.

I must admit, it is nice being a 'Mrs' to the man you want to spend the rest of your life with.:)

I do not think that is the problem here.

The issue is that he remains 'married' to someone else and all that goes with that.

BJV

sharrison778 wrote: »

I know he is committed to me. I dont doubt that. Its more about the practical implications.

I'm not particularly fussed about getting married myself. I sortof like the idea of marriage, just not the idea of a wedding. But its not a big issue for me.

I would, however, like to have kids. Not immediately, but in a few years.

And thats where a divorce becomes important. How do you tell your kids that daddy is married to someone other than their mother? For me, thats just not on. I wouldnt bring children into that kind of arrangement.

I totally understand that is why we got married. Where where no less committed, house cat dog etc before we got married. I am not religious (wish I was I admire people who have that much belief - well as long as it is not blind ) but it was the name and the duel passports.

You should talk to him and let him know how you feel. He is committed to you and will understand.