reassure me please

Gingham_R

purple.sarah wrote: »

While she shouldn't have slapped him I can understand why she felt threatened! Throwing furniture and pulling the handbrake in a car going 30 miles an hour are potentially much more dangerous than a slap!

She trapped him THEN he began throwing things around. She hit him then later he pulled the handbrake.

I have experienced someone pulling on the handbrake while he was driving, purely to scare me as the car slid out of control. It's unacceptable. But seriously, look at the build up to it.

It's a toxic situation and they need a break from each other while they work it out, one way or another.

I am suffering from terrifying flashbacks at the moment, caused by someone trapping me in a corner a few days ago. The repercussions are nightmare like.

If someone wants to leave during an argument, let them. Give them space to cool off. Trapping them is not a healthy way to manage the situation. And hitting them is even more damaging, regardless of whether it's a man or a woman doing the hitting.

FBaby

Well, from what you wrote, I think if any of you two were more at fault, I would say you are. You told him off for something it sounds he only did because you said it was ok, you slap him (that's physical violence, much worse than damage to property), he tries to leave to avoid losing his temper even more (probably on you), but you wouldn't let him, and then when he finally did, you go and pick him up??? Don't you think that was asking for more trouble?

It sounds like you both have a serious temper problem and should sort yourself out, probably individually rather than together.

Tiddlywinks

purple.sarah wrote: »

While she shouldn't have slapped him I can understand why she felt threatened! Throwing furniture and pulling the handbrake in a car going 30 miles an hour are potentially much more dangerous than a slap!

Oh come on... he wanted to leave, OP admits she tried to stop him, he threw some furniture around (possibly to clear a path or to get her to back off) and she then slapped him.

Threatened? Then she should have backed off; not escalated the situation by blocking his exit and then resorting to violence.

He then leaves, she follows him and talks him into getting in her car.... again, why would she do that if she felt threatened?

Why is the man nearly *always* to blame? I agree with the others who have pointed out that if the OP had come on and said....

I spent ages cooking a meal whilst my man played on the Wii - I then had a conversation that he couldn't remember having and shouted at me for messing with some of his papers. I was upset and tried to leave but he blocked my way. I turned over some furniture to get away but then he hit me......

How does it sound when the sexes are reversed?

The OP and her partner sound like they both need help - this sounds like a toxic relationship where counselling or ending it seem the only choices.

DylanO

Another thread where a violent domestic abuser is excused because she's female and her victim is made out to be the devil. This is beyond disgusting.

OP you should be ashamed of yourself, as should all the posters claiming you as the victim of this situation.

SunnyCyprus

yes, i said they should have a few weeks apart. Simply because they aren't helping each other at the moment.
And both are being violent to each other.
Give each other space to breath, to return to some form of normality, then see if you are ready to start again.

whitewing

A woman near us has been jailed for killing her husband by pulling up the handbrake during a row.

DylanO

SunnyCyprus wrote: »

yes, i said they should have a few weeks apart. Simply because they aren't helping each other at the moment.
And both are being violent to each other.
Give each other space to breath, to return to some form of normality, then see if you are ready to start again.

Wrong. She is the only one who was violent to the other.

purple.sarah

Tiddlywinks wrote: »

Oh come on... he wanted to leave, OP admits she tried to stop him, he threw some furniture around (possibly to clear a path or to get her to back off) and she then slapped him.

Threatened? Then she should have backed off; not escalated the situation by blocking his exit and then resorting to violence.

He then leaves, she follows him and talks him into getting in her car.... again, why would she do that if she felt threatened?

Why is the man nearly *always* to blame? I agree with the others who have pointed out that if the OP had come on and said....

I spent ages cooking a meal whilst my man played on the Wii - I then had a conversation that he couldn't remember having and shouted at me for messing with some of his papers. I was upset and tried to leave but he blocked my way. I turned over some furniture to get away but then he hit me......

How does it sound when the sexes are reversed?

The OP and her partner sound like they both need help - this sounds like a toxic relationship where counselling or ending it seem the only choices.

You didn't just change the sex though, you changed the text and completely missed out the bit about pulling the handbrake on a moving car. I would still think that was wrong and dangerous if a woman did it, as in this case which illustrates how dangerous it is:
Woman who killed husband in car crash by pulling on handbrake is jailed

purple.sarah

Also the boyfriend sounds paranoid thinking that asking him not to mess up some papers was trying "to manipulate him and make him look like a c**t".

DylanO

purple.sarah wrote: »

Also the boyfriend sounds paranoid thinking that asking him not to mess up some papers was trying "to manipulate him and make him look like a c**t".

She was manipulating him - she was also violent and actively trying to prevent him from escaping. She's a violent domestic abuser and she needs to be locked up.