Revenge tips /tricks

FatVonD

Much as I don't agree with seeking revenge you *could* call her and say 'Look, I know there is animosity between us but I think you need to know this, I've been checking x's laptop and there are 2 others, he's been cheating on both of us! Then make a habit of calling her on nights when he's with you pretending he's not at home and you need to speak to him urgently. Tell her that armed with this new news you've been checked over and you have Chlamydia and she should get checked out too

determined_new_ms

heretolearn wrote: »

'It always makes me laugh that people always blame the one their partner is having an affair with – blame your partner!!'

Sometimes you need to focus your feelings on the other person though. My husband and best friend !!!!!!ed off together after years of an affair right under my nose. But I had a child with my husband and was determined he shouldn't suffer being stuck in the middle of warring parents. So I focused all my negative feelings on her and carried on getting along just fine with my husband, and it paid off for my son. We continued to parent together and everything was amicable. Things are still ok between us - although son is now grown up there's not much need for contact - but I haven't said a word to her since it all happened or had any kind of contact and I still feel, let's say, strongly negative towards her. Of course I realise focussing it all on her was unfair, but it made things much better for my son.

to a degree I agree with this in that both your husband and your best friend owed you some loyalty so I can understand why you hate her so much and I can only applaud your strength of character for putting your son's needs first.

In most cases though the blame, as far as I am concerned, would be placed solely at my partner's feet.

Re revenge though - many years ago, when I was just a starter adult, I slept with my bf's best friend to get back at him for being unfaithful to me. In the end it did nothing to him - he told me he knew exactly why I was doing and and wasn't going to let that come between his friendship. I felt awful about myself and to top it off lost a lot of friends over it, as well as the moral high ground. Move on, as I said sex and the city! Wine! Chocs and time spent with girlfriends who make you feel good x

Pollycat

FatVonD wrote: »

Much as I don't agree with seeking revenge you *could* call her and say 'Look, I know there is animosity between us but I think you need to know this, I've been checking x's laptop and there are 2 others, he's been cheating on both of us! Then make a habit of calling her on nights when he's with you pretending he's not at home and you need to speak to him urgently. Tell her that armed with this new news you've been checked over and you have Chlamydia and she should get checked out too

I personally wouldn't advise anything that involved lying or having to contact her for the sake of a rush of what will inevitably turn out to be fleeting satisfaction.

newcook

if you know where she lives, pack up all his stuff (well, I say pack but stuff into binbags equates to the same thing) and send it in a taxi and she can pick up the tab (dont forget to tell the taxi driver to double the fare)

FatVonD

Pollycat wrote: »

I personally wouldn't advise anything that involved lying or having to contact her for the sake of a rush of what will inevitably turn out to be fleeting satisfaction.

Of course you're right but I do feel I might have a bestseller in me!

Gettingtherequickly

While it is very tempting to exact revenge of sorts, you will need to be bigger than that or you could potentially end up with a criminal record should they wish to pursue harassment or stalking charges against you.

Best thing is to move on with your head held high as you are the innocent party.

abitofhelp

Whilst it can be fun sat there with friends planning revenge it is not the best thing in reality. I agree ( and i have been there) with the majority of the posters that the best revenge is to move on. My ex and i have children together and still work for the same company. My ex married the women he had an affair with. Because we had children together i wanted to ensure the children came first so took a back seat to what was going on. I now have two well adjusted children. Because we work for the same company i get the occasional snippet back. One of the best so far was he may be up to his philandering ways again. Because i kept out and have been perfectly pleasent and polite i am now able to have the odd snigger. The best when he first left me was from a friend i hadnt seen for a while, she bumped into the pair of them whilst they were out shopping and asked him if she was his mother. brilliant. Also i have been with my lovely oh for nearly 9 years now, and if the ex hadnt have been up to no good, i wouldnt be in the same position now.

miss_hh

The best revenge is letting her keep him.

Just_Plain_Jane

Going back a few years, an ex of mine was seeing some woman behind my back. When I found out I felt the usual range of emotions. I would have loved at the time to get some revenge on the pair of them but decided to rise above it. I heard they'd got married quite soon after when she got pregnant. That was a kick in the teeth.

Fast forward a year and I was parked in the car park of a local beauty spot with a friend. The weather suddenly turned so we decided to eat the sandwiches we'd brought with us in the car. I just happened to glance up and in my rear view mirror saw ex's steamed-up vehicle parked opposite. I'd changed my car by then so he didn't see me. He got out looking a bit disheveled and the passenger door opened - the woman who got out wasn't his wife. They were stood there canoodling for a second, then she got into another car and drove away.

Now, on the surface of it, it looked like he had met his bit on the side in a public car park for some sort of sexual encounter. How seedy. What better revenge than to see that he hadn't changed and the other woman was being crapped on from a very great height? It just saddened me that there was now a child in the equation and he was still only interested in his c0ck. Who the hell needs a man like that?

My point is OP, people like your husband and his woman deserve each other and they almost always get what's coming to them.

BLUEBIE

Like I said before I am rising above it, I am being very nice, if anything because I know it winds her up all the more. This was really just a light hearted day dreaming type post.