Son embarressed by me?

meritaten

neither my daughter or her brothers ever said anything like this to me. which surprises me as I am a bit 'eccentric'. so I dont really know what to advise - except that it is your home and if your son chooses to invite friends there, then they have to take you as they find you. Be yourself hun - his friends will prob love you!

faerie~spangles

I didn't go through childbirth, breastfeeding...

Without knowing there would be payback.

I owned the right to embarrass my kids and there were occasions when I went out of my way to do so :rotfl:

Funnily enough when I joined FB some of their friends got in contact, not only that, they told me I was a cool mum!


OP don't take what your son said to heart.

OR

Do what I'd do, exact revenge, offer condoms the next time he has mates round.

Dunroamin

Gingham_R wrote: »

When exactly does this happen to our offspring? How does it go from being their home to our home and they're just lodgers?

It may be their home but it's your house.

Gingham_R

Tina20 wrote: »

When they become adults and need to learn to support themselves in the real world

I truly hope that when my children have reached the point that they are preparing to live independently that I don't give them the impression that they are no longer part of the family, but mere lodgers in what was once their home.

KxMx

I'm 25 and stuck at home still through ill health and my Mum is very embarrasing when friends come round. Mainly because she uses the same "jolly hockey sticks" voice with them as she did when we were all 10. She has issues accepting I am not a child anymore. For the sake of keeping the peace I don't say anything but resentment bubbles away under the surface!

If I said anything anyway I would just be treated again to the hurt martry act whereby she makes out whatever I am saying is evil and unjustified and she is a saint therefore gets to act all hurt...

Maybe he could not did it up with you at the time because he feels (rightly or wrongly) that you are not reasonable or approchable to talk to about things like that. Possibly why he said Dad was fine.

Another poster did bring up a good point- do you still cook and clean for him at 19? If so, you're treating him like a helpless child but he is expected to be a grown-up in manners? Something to think about (if you do that is).

mgdavid

I'm simply amazed at the complete lack of tolerance and understanding by parents of their own children's developmental issues; even worse is the lack of respect shown to the offspring - how on earth do you imagine they will grow up with such negative role models around?

System

barbiedoll wrote: »

I read somewhere, that teenage boys have to learn to detach themselves from their mum as their surging hormones mean that they cannot allow themselves to form emotional (i.e. sexual) attachements to the person that they love the most. That's why they often make hurtful comments, it's their way of pushing us aside. It's perfectly normal and you shouldn't take it personally, it's a sign of their growing maturity.

Dunno why girls are so horrid to their mums though!

This is Freudian, and not really supported by any empirical research. I do think it's true that children (both boys and girls) reach an age where they feel the need to detach themselves from their parents, and start to see themselves as independent adults. Of course, they're not necessarily independent adults, but they're in transition and that's a very difficult time!

Add to that all the hormones, new expectations being placed on them, new feelings to deal with etc. and I think it's understandable that teenagers are sometimes hideous to their parents!

OP, I don't think I would suggest punishing your son for his comments, but it might be worth mentioning to him that you found it hurtful. He's young enough to still find you embarrassing and comment on it, but also old enough to man up and hear you tell him that it hurt you, in my opinion.

Gingham_R

x-caitlin-x wrote: »

OP, I don't think I would suggest punishing your son for his comments, but it might be worth mentioning to him that you found it hurtful. He's young enough to still find you embarrassing and comment on it, but also old enough to man up and hear you tell him that it hurt you, in my opinion.

This.

(Message too short...)

mcculloch29

It took my son years to get out of the same stage; he must have said similar things - and worse - dozens of times over the years.
His behaviour grew steadily worse in drink too, but eventually he started to grow up and he stopped drinking. I'm sure that many of his most hurtful comments were made when he was less than sober.

At one point I seriously thought about insisting that he leave home as he was making my life so uncomfortable but thankfully it never came to this.

It's my house and will always be my house until I sell it. For as long as he lives here, it will also be his home.
These days he is far nicer to live with, but the bad news is he is 29 in a few months...

ska_lover

Sounds like your son needs to grow up OP.

I would have told him his friends were unwelcome, as I wouldn't want to risk 'embarrasing him!' in the comfort of my own home...