Son embarressed by me?

dandy-candy

I'm pretty taken aback right now. Yesterday my DS1 (19) asked to have some mates over to watch the footie. I said fine, and then he turned around and said "Don't embarress me in front of my friends" I said ofc not and he said "You always do"
I didn't really know what he meant so I asked and he said "When you talk to them"?! I literally say "Hi, how you doing?" to them so I said to DS1 "Ok fine, I haven't heard you giving this speech to dad btw" and he replied "No, dads really cool, it's just you"
I was so hurt I didn't know what to say. Then after a bit he came back and said "It's really only when you talk to the girls" Well he has only ONCE ever had girls here which was at his 18th birthday party we hosted, and then other than saying "Hi" at the door the only other thing was one girl I have know since small came up to me and chatted a bit in the kitchen - about what I can't even remember but nothing other than pleasantries.
He was having a girl I know he likes over last night (not sure if she came to his 18th) but I think it was a pretty horrid thing to say to me - esp as it was just direced at me and not a general "parents" thing.

C_Mababejive

Dont take it personally. I am sure he loves and respects his mum ! Hes just a bit hormonal and edgy..finding his way in forming adult relationships especially will girls. Hes probably worried that you will try and fix him up with someone ! I think its great that you take an interest in and interact with his mates. It has a kinda yummy mummy,trendy mummy feel to it

jamespir

parents are always embarrasing so dont take it to heart

geri1965_2

I was embarrassed by the fact that my dad was postman, and would be mortified if he stopped to talk to me in front of my friends.

Tish_P

At 13 I'd say that was typical teenage behaviour but at 19 it sounds more like he's being astonishingly rude and you've a right to feel hurt. Especially as he can't come up with any specific examples.

You could ask him to be specific or apologise before you let any of his friends cone round again. Or if you want to get your own back, I'm sure there are any number of entertaining options… show him what embarrassment REALLY means!

Penny-Pincher!!

dandy-candy wrote: »

I'm pretty taken aback right now. Yesterday my DS1 (19) asked to have some mates over to watch the footie. I said fine, and then he turned around and said "Don't embarress me in front of my friends" I said ofc not and he said "You always do"
I didn't really know what he meant so I asked and he said "When you talk to them"?! I literally say "Hi, how you doing?" to them so I said to DS1 "Ok fine, I haven't heard you giving this speech to dad btw" and he replied "No, dads really cool, it's just you"
I was so hurt I didn't know what to say. Then after a bit he came back and said "It's really only when you talk to the girls" Well he has only ONCE ever had girls here which was at his 18th birthday party we hosted, and then other than saying "Hi" at the door the only other thing was one girl I have know since small came up to me and chatted a bit in the kitchen - about what I can't even remember but nothing other than pleasantries.
He was having a girl I know he likes over last night (not sure if she came to his 18th) but I think it was a pretty horrid thing to say to me - esp as it was just direced at me and not a general "parents" thing.

I would of suggested him meeting his friends at the pub and not using your home as a place to hang with his buddies!.....cheeky git!!
Tell him to get his own place!

It does hurt when our kids make stupid comments like that, but they don't seem to mind when you're supplying drinks and food for their mates.

whitewing

I know you're mother not father, but Mark Twain's quote always makes me laugh

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished by how much he'd learned in seven years.”

Pollycat

I think he was rude too.

dandy-candy wrote: »

I was so hurt I didn't know what to say. Then after a bit he came back and said "It's really only when you talk to the girls" Well he has only ONCE ever had girls here which was at his 18th birthday party we hosted, and then other than saying "Hi" at the door the only other thing was one girl I have know since small came up to me and chatted a bit in the kitchen - about what I can't even remember but nothing other than pleasantries.

It sounds to me like he thought about what he'd said and was trying to justify it to you and himself - but of course you saw through it.

If he was my son, he'd find the atmosphere distinctly frosty until he apologised.

fantasticfive

I think it's one of the perks of being a parent........ how many times did I cringe when a little one made a comment/ statement/ loudly asked a question that would have been better said in a whisper?
Payback is fun! lol

seriously, though, perhaps one of his friends parents IS embarrassing and he doesn't want his friends to ever look at you that way?

relax, be yourself and perhaps remind him that you were capable of raising him to be the man he is, so you are obviously capable of controlling yourself in the company of his friends.

jetplane

OMG I embarrass my daughter all of the time, I don't want to, I don't mean to but I'm just at that age

When she was 19 she would say don't try to be cool mum 'cos actually you're not. I never thought I was trying to be cool just friendly and polite. Now she's a few years older she just rolls her eyes and gives me one of her looks :rotfl:

My nephew used to ask his mum to make herself scarce when certain friends came round incase she embarrased him. They had a row and he told his dad it was 'cos one of them fancied her and my nephew found this incredibly uncomfortable.

Just ask him what the hell does he mean? And threaten him with the baby phtos next time :rotfl:

System

Its funny, my son says i embaress him with my comments on his Facebook. Strangely enough he tells me his friends think i'm 'cool'.