Angry..do you see this as ok?

scooby088

Am I a prude if i don't like !!!!!!? I have watched my fair share in my 38 years of life and I find it boring, I can see both sides of this subject.

JimmyTheWig

Lotus-eater wrote: »

I don't understand your point, is a character on Eastenders a real person? Of course not, so why should anyone in a !!!!!! film be any different?

The actors are real. The characters are not real.

Some of the things the characters in Eastenders do are really done by the actors. Some are not.
For example, when Bradley fell off that roof to his death (possibly the last time I watched Eastenders!), it wasn't the real actor who fell.
If the producers had made (offering money for something can be seen as "making" someone do that thing if they need the money) the real actor fall off that roof then that would be not on and people would rightly complain.

In !!!!!!, the sex (as far as I am aware) is real sex. The guy might not be a real firefighter or a real mechanic. The girl might not be having a real orgasm. But sex is happening.

That's the difference.

JimmyTheWig

MeganKate wrote: »

It may be just my opinion, but I cannot believe that anyone would see a partner watching !!!!!! as 'being unfaithful' !

How far does it go? would he be allowed to look at an attractive woman walking past? what about an attractive woman wearing a short skirt ? or god forbid topless on a beach!!!! :eek:

In my mind...

1. Looking at an attractive woman / an attractive woman in a short skirt / a topless woman on a beach is reasonable.
2. Looking at those people to the extent and with such thoughts that you got a hard-on is not reasonable if you have a partner.
3. Doing the above then rushing off for a w*nk while thinking about said woman is cheating on your partner.
4. Going to a particular bar / beach simply because they have such women there is even worse.

I'd say most use of pornography on your own is more like number 4 than it is like number 1.

Seanymph

To turn it on it's head (I have only read page one).

Why would he send it then?

If you can come up with an acceptable and 'normal' reason then delude yourself all you want. I've wandered out and hung washing out and can think of no reason why my OH would send a text like that to anyone.

Except for to indicate sexual interest.

Lotus-eater

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

The actors are real. The characters are not real.

Some of the things the characters in Eastenders do are really done by the actors. Some are not.
For example, when Bradley fell off that roof to his death (possibly the last time I watched Eastenders!), it wasn't the real actor who fell.
If the producers had made (offering money for something can be seen as "making" someone do that thing if they need the money) the real actor fall off that roof then that would be not on and people would rightly complain.

In !!!!!!, the sex (as far as I am aware) is real sex. The guy might not be a real firefighter or a real mechanic. The girl might not be having a real orgasm. But sex is happening.

That's the difference.

So if someone offers money for something and that person needs the money, then they are "making" them do it? Weird, sounds like most of the UK population are being made to go to work then.

If an actor in Eastenders kisses another actor, the kiss isn't real, it's acting, of course the kiss has happened, so in your way of looking at it, it's real, but ask the actors, is the kiss real, of course not.
Having sex in a !!!!!! film is no different.

You're all getting so hung up if the acting in a !!!!!! film is real or not, I think it's just down to your attitude about sex, like it's something special that can't be acted out.
Yet it's just another use of the human body and emotion for a film, ie acting.

pinkclouds

fedupandstuff wrote: »

My hurt stems from this text and if he sees it as ok to talk about that with a female work person.
I feel really upset. worse that he thinks i'm overreacting and embarrassing.
I know he would not cheat on me with her as some have suggested.

Carl31 wrote: »

I had a similar issue with my oh. Im quite flirty and like to have a laugh with the ladies, thats all it is though, a bit of banter and a joke. I have calmed myself a bit now but admit i was in a similar situation at the start of my relationship.

Thing is, he probably just does it and gives it no other thought as its just his way of having fun, theres no malice involved. Ask him about it, but dont jump to the conclusion hes cheating without getting your facts straight

This thread has gone way off topic!!

To get back to the OP, it depends on his personality and usual behaviour. If he's always been a bit OTT, well into the banter and a bit "free" with his speech then this might be as harmless as Carl31 suggests.

To put it into some potential context, one of my male acquaintances *does* talk/text about his "bottom". In fact, I and a number of female ex-colleagues have all seen his nether region - one night when we were all out for a drink (when we were all working together), one of the girls was flicking through his cell phone photos and and we all had a look at the relevant photo. He didn't care. We didn't mind. He had a good time talking about it (apparently it is endlessly fascinating to him) and we just laughed along with him. He's maybe cruder than some out there but he's a chivalrous sweetie, really. He's always ready to escort anyone to the taxi rank or walk them home. He's a good dad (married) and I'd trust him to babysit - he knows the difference between adults and kids and when to keep his mouth shut.

If OP's partner is normally very reserved and modest, then this type of behaviour is very out of character and alarming. But if it's *in* character, then either shrug it off or tell him he needs to tone it down for your sake. And, for what it's worth, regardless of the "why", it's okay for *you* to be embarrassed if you find this sort of thing embarrassing. You are not his clone and are not required to have identical sensibilities! So, if it is harmless, then it's right for him to tone it down or keep it out of your face - he owes you that consideration as the person he loves.

MeganKate

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

In my mind...

1. Looking at an attractive woman / an attractive woman in a short skirt / a topless woman on a beach is reasonable.
2. Looking at those people to the extent and with such thoughts that you got a hard-on is not reasonable if you have a partner.
3. Doing the above then rushing off for a w*nk while thinking about said woman is cheating on your partner.
4. Going to a particular bar / beach simply because they have such women there is even worse.

I'd say most use of pornography on your own is more like number 4 than it is like number 1.

Are you serious???

What about if you have thoughts about another person whilst having sex?? how bad would that be?

OMG by the above I have cheated on ALL of my partners several hundred times!!!

Lotus-eater

MeganKate wrote: »

Are you serious???

What about if you have thoughts about another person whilst having sex?? how bad would that be?

OMG by the above I have cheated on ALL of my partners several hundred times!!!

Yeah me too, looks like it's a ban on any fantasy. Which of course (in my mind) is a very bad idea.

JimmyTheWig

Are you two seriously saying that you think it is ok for someone in a relationship to go to a beach because there will be topless women there, get aroused by them and then whack themselves off while thinking about them?

determined_new_ms

JimmyTheWig wrote: »

Are you two seriously saying that you think it is ok for someone in a relationship to go to a beach because there will be topless women there, get aroused by them and then whack themselves off while thinking about them?

its all part of the rich tapestry of life that people look at the world differently