Angry..do you see this as ok?

MeganKate

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

Sadly, that's how I interpreted the following, although I now see that you were referring to !!!!!! ... "I would personally much prefer to know what my man was doing than for them to go behind my back (which, believe me, they will)"

And no, I'm not suggesting anything, I was just saying I'd heard that abstinence (ie exercising self control that others mentioned) lowers male sex drive, which has been used to explain/justify the use of !!!!!!.

Thank you , glad you can see now what I meant!

I have no idea whether it is right or not about absinence, but its a weird one - sex is a great thing to do, why would anyone want to 'contain' it?

determined_new_ms

MeganKate wrote: »

Thats about as clear as mud because it was my entire point.

It may be just my opinion, but I cannot believe that anyone would see a partner watching !!!!!! as 'being unfaithful' !

How far does it go? would he be allowed to look at an attractive woman walking past? what about an attractive woman wearing a short skirt ? or god forbid topless on a beach!!!! :eek:

To be honest if that is how some women (or men?) are with their partners, there is no wonder people are unfaithful! mind, I wouldnt just be unfaithful I would run a mile from a partner who controlled me to that extent!

couldn't the same be said if someone was into swinging and their partner said no that was beyond the boundaries they were prepared to accept? Surely that is controlling by your logic? Your posts come across that the way you look at life is the "right" way

Lunar_Eclipse

Gingham_R wrote: »

I'm pointing out that 'straying' and 'going behind her back' can be seen as exactly the same thing. Straying is about infidelity.

Good explanation. I'm refraining from personal viewpoint since it feels like a battleground.;)

In answer to the OP, doesn't sound like appropriate behaviour to me.

Gingham_R

MeganKate wrote: »

Thank you , glad you can see now what I meant!

I have no idea whether it is right or not about absinence, but its a weird one - sex is a great thing to do, why would anyone want to 'contain' it?

You think it's wrong to contain it?

I'd rather not see people having sex in public.

I'd rather not do it until I know the kids aren't going to walk in.

I'd rather people used condoms if they are having sex with more than one person.

I'd rather people didn't exploit others to achieve gratification.

I'd rather people didn't have affairs.

I'd rather people didn't have sex with vulnerable or underage people.

I could go on but you get my point - of course it's 'contained' to a degree. You've just decided that your way is the only way.

MeganKate

determined_new_ms wrote: »

couldn't the same be said if someone was into swinging and their partner said no that was beyond the boundaries they were prepared to accept? Surely that is controlling by your logic? Your posts come across that the way you look at life is the "right" way

How is swinging (having sex with other people) the same as watching people on a screen having sex?

Is that not like saying watching sport is the same as going to the gym?

MeganKate

Gingham_R wrote: »

You think it's wrong to contain it?

I'd rather not see people having sex in public.

I'd rather not do it until I know the kids aren't going to walk in.

I'd rather people used condoms if they are having sex with more than one person.

I'd rather people didn't exploit others to achieve gratification.

I'd rather people didn't have affairs.

I'd rather people didn't have sex with vulnerable or underage people.

I could go on but you get my point - of course it's 'contained' to a degree. You've just decided that your way is the only way.

I didnt say it was 'wrong' to contain it! of course there are situations where it should be 'contained' but a normal, healthy person in a partnership shouldnt necessarily need to (and as I have said several times this doesnt just mean going out and having sex with someone, it could mean watching !!!!!!!)

determined_new_ms

MeganKate wrote: »

How is swinging (having sex with other people) the same as watching people on a screen having sex?

Is that not like saying watching sport is the same as going to the gym?

its the same logic in that people who are into swinging will see it as ok just as people who disagree with pornography and their partners watching it will see if as not

Gingham_R

MeganKate wrote: »

I didnt say it was 'wrong' to contain it!

You said:
"Sex is a great thing to do. Why would anyone want to contain it?"

Obviously swinging and pornography are different. No-one suggested otherwise. But I know a couple who swing but who object to pornography.

There are other ways of looking at the world than your own.

MeganKate

Gingham_R wrote: »

You said:
"Sex is a great thing to do. Why would anyone want to contain it?"

Obviously swinging and pornography are different. No-one suggested otherwise. But I know a couple who swing but who object to pornography.

There are other ways of looking at the world than your own.

I think I will leave this one now.. you are very good at turning words around..

I wish you all the luck in the world with your life just as it is, I am sure you are very happy, as I am.

Lunar_Eclipse

MeganKate wrote: »

I cannot believe that anyone would see a partner watching !!!!!! as 'being unfaithful' !

To be honest if that is how some women (or men?) are with their partners, there is no wonder people are unfaithful! mind, I wouldnt just be unfaithful I would run a mile from a partner who controlled me to that extent!

Why not? Can you really not begin to understand that ... or is it just not an opinion you share?

I also think you might be confusing control and morals/ethics. It is not controlling to expect complete respect within a relationship and a portion of society believe that !!!!!! violates that respect. You disagree, but that doesn't make the opposite opinion invalid or crazy (or serve people right for marriages failing.)

(As an aside, along moral/ethical lines, people can be anti-!!!!!! for objective reasons, such as exploitation of children and young people in general. It's the same as people who enjoy burgers refusing to eat at McDonalds and people boycotting GAP due to the sweat trade etc.)