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satchmo1

Oh Granny, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday, and I hope I haven't been banished to the bad books with OH/DS/DIL.

The one time my exDH forgot my birthday, I kicked up a humdinger of a stink, because my sons were then too little to buy presents/know to make cards. Believe me, it never happened again. Ok, I did thereafter make a point of reminding ex and sons a week before my birthday "don't you dare forget again this year, it's time to go shopping for something marvelous like xxx or yyy, plus cards and wrapping paper, because it's nearly 29th May, and strangely enough that's still the date that my birthday falls, as it has done for many millions of years". You get the picture?

People who forget important birthdays like darling Granny's have no concept and very thick skins, so there's no point in being hurt in silence, you have to tell everyone repeatedly, and then tell whoever else is there (in the offenders' presence) about how badly they have treated their OH/mother/mil.

Sounds to me like OH is quite high on the autistic spectrum, and perhaps DS is too? If so, that goes some way to explain the complete lack of emotional intelligence.

Hugs and virtual cakes for you, Granny. x

missrlr

satchmo1 wrote: »

Oh Granny, I'm so sorry I missed your birthday, and I hope I haven't been banished to the bad books with OH/DS/DIL.

The one time my exDH forgot my birthday, I kicked up a humdinger of a stink, because my sons were then too little to buy presents/know to make cards. Believe me, it never happened again. Ok, I did thereafter make a point of reminding ex and sons a week before my birthday "don't you dare forget again this year, it's time to go shopping for something marvelous like xxx or yyy, plus cards and wrapping paper, because it's nearly 29th May, and strangely enough that's still the date that my birthday falls, as it has done for many millions of years". You get the picture?

People who forget important birthdays like darling Granny's have no concept and very thick skins, so there's no point in being hurt in silence, you have to tell everyone repeatedly, and then tell whoever else is there (in the offenders' presence) about how badly they have treated their OH/mother/mil.

Sounds to me like OH is quite high on the autistic spectrum, and perhaps DS is too? If so, that goes some way to explain the complete lack of emotional intelligence.

Hugs and virtual cakes for you, Granny. x

Oh now THAT is how to do it! Go Granny you need to say this clearly and probably repeatedly ....

never_too_old

Evening Granny belated birthday wishes sorry ive been mia.
Trouble is with birthdays is we put so much effort into others birthdays its all ways such an anticlimax when it comes to your own:)

grannyx2

My dear friends as always some wonderful words of kindness, understanding and pointers too.

Saturday went well, after starting off extremely frosty. I had a beautiful bunch of flowers and chocolates from DD and spoke to her via text messages for half an hour before I went out with OH. She was upset and appalled by how I had been treated.

OH failed to tell me I looked nice, despite the effort I made, asked me where the restaurant was and did not take his reading glasses with him.

Cue Granny in a strop - I don't need him to tell me I look nice as I know I did, but its only polite. When he mentioned on Sunday that my dress was nice, I said "Is it, you didn't say that yesterday" To which he replied, "Yes I did, I'm always telling you that you look nice" Ha, ha was my response. maybe he thinks those things and thinks I'm so clever I can actually see inside his mind. (Was going to say brain but half the time I don't think he has one)

I told him he should have looked up where the restaurant was as he was taking me out for MY birthday and therefore I should not have to do any of the organising. It worked, he got out his mobile and looked up the address.

Normally I take my reading glasses with me too when I am wearing my contacts but on Saturday my bag was too small. He asked if I had them, I said No and he accepted it without comment. He struggled to read the menu and I for once refused to assist. (I felt a bit petty but decided more not so nice Granny was called for).

When the frostiness had gone on for long enough, I commented on how not nice it was to be out as we were not speaking. He replied "Well every time I say something you snap my head off" I responded with "That is so not the case, I'm upset about the treatment I had yesterday and if you can't see that, then that is your problem not mine".

From there it all came spilling out and he accepted that as well as DS and DDIL, he had behaved pretty shabbily too. Not one to hold a grudge, I then let it alone and we had a nice afternoon. He has also accepted my suggestion to have a date night of sorts once a week/fortnight where no sport, computers or phones are allowed. So we will see how that goes. First one on Friday evening as we are both off.

I had a lovely day with DGDs yesterday. It started with meeting DS, DDIL and DGD2 at a soft play area. DS was sitting alone when I arrived so I had the opportunity to explain how hurt I was about both Mother's Day and my birthday. He apologised and said it would not happen again. I told him I don't expect gifts as I know money is tight but something personal from the girls would be much appreciated, even if just a picture. I also told him as his mum, I wanted acknowledgement that I am appreciated and important and therefore from now on, a card from him and a card from DGC is expected for all celebratory days, (even if home-made).

We then went for lunch and then DGD2 and I had an hour together before we picked up DGD1 from school. DGD2s current new phrases/words are "Sorry" and "I love you" both equally delightful.

DGD1 said "sorry" when she saw my cards, saying "Daddy and mammy wouldn't buy me one". How true this is I don't know but I explained to her that next time she should just draw a picture from her and her sibling(s) for me. She agreed.

No NSDs to report since last Tuesday but all have been LSDs so this month is still pretty on track. I've already exceeded my target anyway. I'm working from home today but in the office tomorrow. I can't wait for the long weekend, although mine is only a day longer than normal as I don't work Monday anyway. At the moment I have to go into the office every day next week but I'm trying to rearrange one of my meetings for the week after instead.

That's it for now, hope you are all well. I'm doing a quick flit around the diaries now before I start work.

Granny x

please-let-me-be-lucky

So pleased you set the record straight with everyone and got it off your chest. They all have no choice but to behave better towards you now (which is as it should've been from the start!).

Glad you had a good weekend overall and fingers crossed for a good first date on Friday! Xx

missrlr

Whoop whoop good for you. Well done on saying it to all that is really positive. Really hope the date night goes well. We may have to try and home grown version of that as it is easy to get plugged in and turned off!

Enjoy your weekend.

Piquant_2

You must feel better for clearing the air, well done granny! I suspect OH will revert from time to time, meaning a regular short sharp kick in the wotsits :eek: But there again, perhaps date night and all that it promises will keep him attentive. There is a time and place for your rather fetching onesie.....

grannyx2

Well date night is being postponed until Saturday/Sunday as OH has been offered work this weekend. As he's already done 2 extra shifts this week, I just hope he's not too tired to appreciate the effort.

I had quite a good day yesterday working from home and then knitting in the evening. Off to work today, so the joys of HIM to behold. Never mind HE's off next week. Wonder if today is the day big boss talks to HIM.

Had another nsd yesterday and today may be one too, unless I buy something lunch time. I'm taking soup into work so no spends planned.

Have a good day all, its nearly the weekend

Granny x

grannyx2

Oh am I glad to be home, I managed to sneak out at 4.30, I just couldn't face it any longer.

HE was pretty appalling today, at one point my colleague thought HE was shouting at me but HE was actually just discussing something with me rather loudly. HE really is awful. It doesn't look as though big boss has chatted to HIM yet, possibly because HE has recently suffered a family bereavement so thinks it is not appropriate. HE's on leave next week so I won't see HIM now until 2 weeks today and maybe not until 2 weeks Friday. Oh how I will enjoy the peace.

I didn't have a nsd as I went to Mr T and bought me and a friend cakes for afternoon break.

OH has now agreed to working all weekend, much as the money will be handy, (as long as he does what he's promised and helps me with finances), I wish he'd take just one day off as now I know he's just going to be tired all weekend. I'm not going to nag though as that defeats the object, he knows how I feel and if he chooses not to listen I really cannot do anything about it.

About to have tea now and then going to have a gadget free evening, so won't be back until tomorrow.

Granny x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Have a nice evening Xx