MIT's penultimate diary

millionaire_in_training

Thanks Matymoo. I am determined not to go mad with spends. Thank goodness I am well down the road with this moneysaving lark as I reckon if I wasn't then it would be very easy to lose control due to grieving.

I was a bit naughty today as I had to go to Homebase for door handle parts and ended up buying 2 gorgeous cushions for my new bedroom . They are lush though and will look fabulous so am not going to get too upset about it. I earned £25 this morning so only spent £8 over and above that and 2 doors fixed ( DS is very clumsy and breaks everything ) and 2 fabby cushions for me . I can't wait until my wee room is done .

Sad news today though. One of my staff's mum has been in the hospice my mum was in and she died last night. Such a shame and I will have to attend her funeral. Dreading it. I have a small team of 2 and one mum died in May, mine was July and now that's the 3rd one away. No-one will want to join us incase it happens to them as well :eek:.

I have gutted my living room today and cleared out loads of tat. It is all shiny clean now and I am just about to hoover it round and finish it off. I need to clear the decks and get rid of all the cr*p in this place and get organised as life is always easier when you are organised. Getting very autumny here now. Got washing out but still damp and on clothes horse to finish it off. round is sodden so cannot get the grass cut or get any gardening done . I will just concentrate on the inside just now and as soon as debt is paid off I am going to get some money onto my mortgage and get my kitchen and bathroom done. I will overpay the mortgage then and get rid of that too. Plans, plans, plans.

Hope you are all having a great weekend xx

Skint_but_Optimistic

The dampness hasnt got to us yet we are still managing to line dry. I love a good frost me, but thats the northerner in me......

Your home sounds beautiful.


You are good going to the funeral, it will bring it all back, you are brave. x

millionaire_in_training

I am sh*tting myself about going SBO as I know it will be very difficult but I am his boss so feel I really have to go. 2 months tomorrow since Mum died and it seems to be getting harder as I am missing her more and more as time passes.

I got a call from the school the other day as DS's friend had made a horrible comment about oxygen tanks ( mum was on oxygen for 2 years) and my son just lost his temper. He was shouting and screaming at this boy and ended up in tears. His guidance teacher discovered from chatting to him that he was crying in bed at night as he didn't want to upset me. Well that was me in bits. My poor colleagues had to put up with me crying on and off all day . I had along chat and a cuddle with him when we got home but he says it is the worst thing in the world for him to see me crying . He understands that it will happen and that we will be sad but he obviously hates it. No-one warns you how hard it is being a mum do they?? We'd still do it mind you as the rewards are massive .

My house is coming along nicely too but I will be a while before I can get my kitchen and loo.

MatyMoo

I feel for you, I had to go to a funeral 3 months after Mum's and I was sobbing. I felt awful as it was for my Mum and not the deceased

millionaire_in_training

That's what I am worried about. I didn't cry much at mum's as I was so worried about everything being perfect and knew if I lost it then everyone would so am concerned.I have aconite which is a herbal remedy to keep you calm so I will take that and hopefully it will help me. I will just need to hold it in until I leave the service.

please-let-me-be-lucky

2 months already! Wow. I bet it has felt like longer for you though, I hope the funeral goes as well as it can.

Bless your boy. Shows what special women you and your Mum are though, that he would shoulder all that and try to protect you from his grief. Big hugs all round Xx

millionaire_in_training

In some ways it feels like forever but most of the time I can't believe it has happened. Although I have stopped thinking about her constantly, when I do it hits me like a train and the tears come very very easily. Because she is not on my mind constantly and I forget, I have lifted the phone umpteen times to call her then I remember and my heart breaks all over again. At least when she was in my thoughts constantly that didn't happen. Ach I 'll be fine but by God it's hard sometimes

millionaire_in_training

Hi folks, thank God it is nearly bedtime. What an emotional day I've had. Been in tears on and off most of the day and just can't wait for it to be over.

I went to church myself this morning and came back to pick up the kids to go to the cemetery. I had warned them to be ready and DS was shouting that no-one told him so he wasn't even dressed. I was very calm and said 'no problem that we would go without him' well that went down like a lead balloon and he got in the car moaning and groaning until I reminded him of the conversation we had had re going to cemetery today. Suddenly he remembered that I had told him and he apologised. He then started moaning about having to tidy his room. I said that he would have to polish as he was to keep his Gran's furniture nice ( he has all her bedroom furniture in his room) this was another moaning match and I was told that it was his furniture now and to stop referring to it as Gran's furniture, I said okay fair enough and then he started going on and on and on and on about a new desk ( we have had this conversation a million times already ) and I completely lost it. I told him he was an ungrateful little git and he should be thankful for what he has as many many children have nothing. I went into a tirade about how bl**dy selfish he is. I then burst into tears and he was all apologetic.I then said so much for hating seeing me cry when you push and push until I do. He is nearly 15 FGS it's time he stopped all this carp. Then I felt so guilty and when we got to the cemetery I could not stop crying.And I mean sobbing. I just wanted to go with them for a wee peaceful visit and take some flowers and it turned into world war 3. He has since spent the day cleaning his room and I have spent the day on the couch feeling sorry for myself . Kids :eek:. So roll on tomorrow as it is a new day and hopefully will be better than today,

Spent £8 on flowers as sent DD into the shop ( due to my tears and snotters ) and she bought expensive ones and some money at church for the collection. Nothing other than that though

savesummore

:grouphug: Have a hug MIT it sounds as though you could do with one!!

What a day you had

Hope things are brighter today

MatyMoo

Teenagers huh

You need to start using my Mum's favourite phrase - I love you, but I don't always like you.

She always used this when we had gone too far and we new just fine now was the time to stop

I do hope that he has had a little think and has said sorry even if it is in the funny way kids do by making you a cuppa or giving a sly hug.

Sending you big hugs