We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

Daughters pregnant !

135

Comments

  • A friend once told me something her Father had said to her.

    "when you were studying, single and building your career I dreaded you sitting us down and telling us you had an unplanned pregnancy. Time passed and I began to dread that you would never sit us down and tell us you were pregnant, whatever the circumstances. Now I take great joy and pride from the fact that, whatever happens in your life, I never, ever doubted that you would sit us down and tell us."

    Take a very deep breath and think about what you can do to gently guide those young people through what will be a difficult time for them.

    And please don't underestimate their ability to grow up very fast, accept their responsibilities and raise their child as well as they possibly can
  • taxi36
    taxi36 Posts: 196 Forumite
    OP ,search on here for a thread called "teenage unplaned pregnancy".

    Thats a thread I posted approx 1 year ago when my Daughter was in a similar situation. It will give you some insight into the journey we had....

    Maybe some one can link the thread for the OP as I am unsure how to do it.

    Good luck
  • Scrapaholic
    Scrapaholic Posts: 577 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Lots of nice posts about happy outcomes . DS 's girlfriend became pregnant at 19 . It was a bit of a shock as they didn't have good jobs or a home . We did all we could for them and have a beautiful grandson of nearly 10 and another 5 yrs old. DS at the end of 3 yr uni course now and the boy's mum starting degree course soon. Yes, they're both over 30 now but it wasn't the end of the world for them . Very happy they chose to have the baby . Lots of the happiest times of our lives are with our lovely grandchildren . Hope everything works out well for everyone .
  • MummyOfTwo
    MummyOfTwo Posts: 474 Forumite
    its not the worst news in the world, however much it may feel like it. she couldve sat you down and said she had a life threatening illness, but at the end of the day a baby is a beautiful new life, and your grandchild.

    i say this because i sat my poor parents down when i was twenty and told them i was expecting (quite accidently). it was a problem for them, especially dad, but now we are almost 9 years down the line and how things change. my dad lives for his grandchildren, and i am now expecting his sixth grandchild!

    please please be there to hug her and hold her hand, theres just no point lecturing and giving the silent treatment or anything like that, what will be will be.
  • McKneff
    McKneff Posts: 38,857 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Not sure anyone has said this in this thread,

    Congratulations to Grandad and Grandma.

    When this baby is born there will be nothing like the feeling you get every time you see this baby.

    Accept this and accept all the love and pleasure this babywill give you for years and years.

    Enjoy................
    make the most of it, we are only here for the weekend.
    and we will never, ever return.
  • sarymclary
    sarymclary Posts: 3,224 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    taxi36 wrote: »
    OP ,search on here for a thread called "teenage unplaned pregnancy".

    Thats a thread I posted approx 1 year ago when my Daughter was in a similar situation. It will give you some insight into the journey we had....

    Maybe some one can link the thread for the OP as I am unsure how to do it.

    Good luck

    https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3182704

    Hope this helps! x
    One day the clocks will stop, and time won't mean a thing

    Be nice to your children, they'll choose your care home
  • budget_babe
    budget_babe Posts: 1,633 Forumite
    edited 6 May 2012 at 8:32PM
    kymrob wrote: »
    can i just add to my earlier post
    i keep my pregnancy a secret for 8 months as i had parents who would of marched me to docs for abortion. lucky she has told u im sure she feels like she has let u both down and feels so scared, but at least she felt that she could turn to u so she knows that u will b there for here, once this shock has pasted.

    a couple years after having my daughter i was told that it would b unlikely that i could have another baby which has been true, so thank god for my gift!

    u never know what the future hold so please grab it with both hands this baby will bring alot of joy to all your lives.

    to this day my relationship is strained with my parents it is still raw, but i turned this in to a positive and became best mum i could b and when im lucky enough to have grandchild well i get welled up just thinking about how amazing that will b !

    Hi Kymrob,

    Your posts have really struck a cord with me today. To have to hide your pregnancy for 8 months because you were worried that your parents would know and force you to have an abortion. Words fail me and I couldn't say anything that would be in anyway adequate.

    But what stands out for me is what a wonderful mother and future grandmother you are, and will be.

    Your parents it seemed taught you well, on how not to be a parent. You certainly have turned a negative into a positive.

    I think your posts will be inspiring to many who are posting on here and also lurking, and yes thank God for your gift.

    I know my Ds is the whole of my world to me, nothing in my life has or will ever come close to the love that I have for him.

    To the OP too, I hope that the Sunday meal went well, sending you big hugs (())

    Budgie xxx
    Cherish the ones you love and travel back on the road that brings you home :)
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us" Ralph Waldo Emerson :A
  • Gillyx
    Gillyx Posts: 6,847 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I'm 23 and had to tell my father I was pregnant, a few months after quitting my job and moving country to be with my partner. I knew he was disappointed and it was such a horrible feeling. I could see it in his eyes. I wasn't overly happy about the situation either, but I grew to accept it and then to cherish it. So maybe your daughter is putting on a brave face too?

    Try and be supportive and offer constructive advice, and try your best not to show your disappointment or that you disapprove, she will be highly emotional and probably had a bit of a shock herself.

    At the end of the day she's 19, an adult, which means she is able to make her own choices in life, and you never know this could be what spurs her on to continue her studies and push on in life.

    Also on a practical side of things, keep an eye out on Freecycle & Gumtree for people giving away baby items for free/next to nothing. If she or her partner aren't working they'l need to save as much money as possible with getting baby things.

    Oh also, don't burn your bridges with her, my son is now the apple of my Dad's eye, I've never seen him as happy in my whole life.
    The frontier is never somewhere else. And no stockades can keep the midnight out.
  • kymrob
    kymrob Posts: 411 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 100 Posts Combo Breaker Mortgage-free Glee!
    budget babe thank you, i dont tell my story often as it is so raw and always will b, i do think op will b great grandparents. congrats to them x
  • Agree with budget babe - when I read kymrob had to kept pregnancy secret for so long I actually felt quite emotional. I have so much admiration the strength you must have had to get where you are now. x
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.1K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.