Would you be angry?

POPPYOSCAR

moomoomama27 wrote: »

I agree I do think it's more the hysteria of the contraceptive/sex side, rather than the risks that freaks people a little.

It was not with me.

My only concern would be the effect on the health of my daughter.

I do not want her to take any drug unless absolutely necessary, the contraceptive/sex side does not come into the equation for me.

I think the whole issue here is that the prescribing of the pill was not an immediate solution to the problem anyway, and something that should have been prescribed by the family doctor with her full medical history surely, and so could/should have waited until the mother was back.

POPPYOSCAR

lostinrates wrote: »

But this was not a decision that ha to be made immeadiately.

T h, while i would not totally ignore the contraceptive aspect, ( nor tule it out because of that, but these are things i would want to talk to a child about, as part of her growing up ) i would be more upset a long term health plan, as oppod to short term intervention, was made without my input and with a child not having my support.

I thinkhermanmunster must be right.

I agree with you on all of this.

seven-day-weekend

claire16c wrote: »

Wow. Youve clearly never had a bad period pains/bleeding if you think that would help!

Is the girl supposed to just take to bed every single month when she could do something about it instead?

I had very heavy periods, lasting eight days, for over forty years. But I must admit, that although I have had pain, I've never had anything that the hot water bottle and painkillers wouldn't fix.

Of course I didn't mean the girl should never go to the Dr, especially if being on the pill will help her. I just don't think the other woman should have taken it upon herself to do so, unless it was an emergency, which AFAIK, period pain isn't.

faerie~spangles

I would be livid.

The mum the child was staying with overstepped the mark as far as I'm concerned.

Mum was only away for a few days.

Yes it was period pains and heavy bleeding and whilst I appreciate that the pain and bleeding can for some be absolutely horrendous. The symptoms aren't exactly life threatening.

Was the child taken to her own GP who had knowledge of her and the family's medical history?

claire16c

seven-day-weekend wrote: »

I had very heavy periods, lasting eight days, for over forty years. But I must admit, that although I have had pain, I've never had anything that the hot water bottle and painkillers wouldn't fix.

Of course I didn't mean the girl should never go to the Dr, especially if being on the pill will help her. I just don't think the other woman should have taken it upon herself to do so, unless it was an emergency, which AFAIK, period pain isn't.

But just because youve never had pain that painkillers wouldnt fix, why would that mean someone else hasnt? And there is no reason to put up with painful/heavy periods when you can do something about them. Who wants to sit about in bed with a hot water bottle? Which is totally impractical to do every month when you have school/a job to go to anyway.

If the girl was say being sick or feeling faint then I can see why the lady might have panicked. Or the girl asked her to. We dont know what conversations went on, and also what the girl said to the doctor. She may well have asked for it herself - which she could do anyway - whether or not this lady took her.

Perhaps she took the opportunity whilst her mum was away. Who knows!

coolcait

So, a 14 year old went to stay with a friend over a long weekend.

On the Monday, the 14 year old was in pain.

Her friend's mother took her to the doctor.

The doctor diagnosed that the reason for the pain was due to the fact that the 14 year old was menstruating.

This was not a one-off. The 14 year old has painful and heavy periods.

The doctor prescribed the contraceptive pill, to address the cause of the painful and heavy periods. Not just a painkiller to alleviate the symptoms.

I don't have a problem with any of that.

Maybe the friend's mum should have waited till the Tuesday, handed the prescription over to the 14 year old's mum, for her to decide whether to get the medicine or not.

And dealt with the suffering of the 14 year old in the meantime.

However, the 14 year old was prescribed appropriate medication to deal with a reproductive health issue.

If the doctor had prescribed an antacid to deal with serious indigestion, would there having been talk of the friend 'overstepping the mark'? I don't think so.

Even the Catholic Church accepts the use of the pill for medical reasons. So, on moral, ethical or faith grounds, I don't have a problem with the scenario presented here.

I do agree that - given the hormone issues mentioned by some other posters - it would have been prudent to let the 14 year old's mother know about the prescription. Just in case there were any known health reasons why she shouldn't take the pill.

daska

hermanmunster wrote: »

1) the pill will not work the period pain in that cycle - only works by stopping ovulation and hence affects the next cycle
2) Acupuncture is very good for period pains
3) The pill is good for pains but not first line and not from a GP to a patient as a temporary residents UNLESS the girl is at risk of pregnancy

I work as a GP and a family planning doctor and suspect that there is rather more to this story

Have I missed something, I can't see where patchwork cat says that the girl didn't go to her own doctor?

January20

patchwork_cat wrote: »

Can I just point out that friend feels guilty, not angry, it is me that is angry. My friend had discussed it with her DD and was going to take her to the Dr to talk it through with the doctor, but as she works full time and DD is not in rolling on the floor agony it was just a little lower on the agenda.

I would be cross, not with the Dr, but with the other mother. It is a big descion to go on the pill and will not have relieved the pain immediately - whereas other pain killers would have done, yes I was also thinking mefanemic or tranexamic acid.

I am with the camp that thinks this was not an emergency and therefore the other mum over stepped the mark. I would be furious.

So, if I understand correctly, the daughter and the mother had discussed possible treatment for the girl. Was it specifically the Pill? Or just going to the doctors?

I think you must remember 2 things here: Looking after another person's child is a huge responsibility. The friend probably took the daughter to the doctor's because she was worried about her, or because she wanted to make sure that she wasn't being seen as neglectful of the child.

The other thing you must remember is the mindset of a 14 yo girl. She might have made it look like her symptoms and her pain were worth than the reality. IMO, the girl saw this as an opportunity to get the treatment she wanted, and that her mother didn't see as a priority. I think for a teenager period pain feels like you are dying. As a grown woman, it's easy to forget that feeling. I actually think the mother should feel guilty: full time work or not, her daughter's health should be a priority.

I would be cross too, in this situation, but more with myself, that my friend had to help my daughter. I would be feeling a bit guilty and ashamed too as I would see it as a failure of my parenting. I would not worry about my daughter sleeping around because even when my dd was only 14, I was sure of her morals. I would however certainly go to the doctor's with my dd to discuss the possible side effects of the Pill (even if that meant taking some time of work!)

Lunar_Eclipse

Bangton wrote: »

Nope I wouldn't be angry. If the doctor felt the pill was the best solution the issues lies there...not with the friend's mum who merely took the daughter to the doctor.

On the whole I agree with this and it highlights to me that we always see things based on our own perspective. I feel for the mother and can understand her feelings, however all the friend (rightly) did, assuming the daughter was in a LOT of pain (painkillers presumably not working) was take the girl to the doctors.

I'd be surprised if the girl started on the pill without discussing it with her mother though. I also think the 'friend' must be close to the girl in question to take this course of action.

I mentioned perspective. And it's because my younger sister was put on the pill at 9 or 10, because her periods were excruciating (she couldn't physically walk but reverted to crawling) and it was felt to be the best treatment for her at the time. I was a bit shocked, but having seen how it affected her, I understand. I assume most people can't comprehend this level of pain from periods. (As an aside, now that I'm a parent of 2 girls: can you imagine seeing your 9 year old in such a state from period pain?)

BekahC

I have pcos but both me and y mother suffer from VERY heavy periods. I took it upon my self at 14 to speak to drs EACH AND EVERYONE advised me to go on the pill, because what started as heavy periods (i mean to point where bed could be soaked if i slept straight for 4 hrs) turned in to one 5month period! SOLID- no break. My period pain has me screaming but as my pcos seems to have eased its not quite as bad.

I honestly feel if anyone had seriously dealt with period pain so horrific - mine to the point where i can stand in the shower for 40mins with shower head beating on lower bacl ,tramadol (cos no other painkiller touches it) and a TENS machine, then you would have no issue in a child of yours wanting to get this sorted. At 14 there is every chance the choice would not have been the friends, and she could have gone by herself and not told her mum at all!!

It is very hard to judge unless you have truely seen someone suffering with it.


and the comment about kidney stones - i have had them the last year , would keep them if it meant my period pain would never come back xx