Would you be angry?

claire16c

duchy wrote: »

Exactly

If my child was "rolling around the floor in agony" to the point his friend's parent felt he needed a same day doctor -I'd be livid no-one contacted me. On one hand people are saying it was serious enough to warrent medical attention-on the other -not serious enough to contact the mother-the two surely go together.

Also a fourteen year old may not know if there is a family history which would increase the risks for her taking the pill for example at fourteen I knew one of my aunts had died but didn't know it was a thrombosis .

In some ways the age is irrelevant though. You could be 14 or 40 and have no idea of your family history for one reason or another.

nottslass_2

Can't understand why the girls own mother hasn't already taken her to the Doctors !

Why would any parent let their child suffer rather than seek expert medical treatment ?
Personally It sounds as if the child's mother has failed in her duty as a parent and perhaps she should be questioning her own actions instead of those by another concerned adult..................

duchy

claire16c wrote: »

In some ways the age is irrelevant though. You could be 14 or 40 and have no idea of your family history for one reason or another.

Indeed if a child was adopted or estranged from their family there is always the chance however as this child is none of those things (her mother was away for ONE more day)-what is your point ?

If there IS access to family health history a doctor will always take notice of it........for very good reasons -like not wanting to prescribe certain medications that are contra indicated because they can cause damage in certain circumstances where there is a family history of certain conditions.

duchy

nottslass wrote: »

Can't understand why the girls own mother hasn't already taken her to the Doctors !

Why would any parent let their child suffer rather than seek expert medical treatment ?
Personally It sounds as if the child's mother has failed in her duty as a parent and perhaps she should be questioning her own actions instead of those by another concerned adult..................

Possibly because .......
The fourteen year old over dramatized like 14 year olds sometimes do

The mother of the friend was scared because to her anything more than a few twinges isn't "normal"

The child's mother wanted to discuss the possibility of the pill further with the girl first

The child is already sexually active and her mother would prefer her to use condoms to protect her sexual health

This was the first month of really bad pain

A host of reasons -and there's many more to be considered before writing a mother off as neglectful

nottslass_2

I'm sure the friend did't actually take the girl to the Doctors "to be put on the pill".
She obviously got medical advice because the girl apeared to be in a lot of pain,maybe she thought that getting treatment from a qualified doctor (with access to her medical history) was prefable than doleing out the contents of her own medicine cabinet and simply didn't want the responsibility of giving medication to a child that wasn't hers.

coolcait

It quite possible to have a scenario where the situation was simultaneously 'serious enough' for the friend's mum to want the 14 year old to see a doctor, but 'not serious enough' to call the 14 year old's mother:

- friend's mum finds her daughter's friend 'rolling about in agony'
- says 'OK, love, I'm going to give your mum a call, and take you to hospital'
- child says 'Oh no, please don't phone my mum. She's been looking forward to this wekend for ages. I don't want her to have to come back. It's just my period' (continues rolling arund in agony)
- friend's mum is not entirely convinced - period pains aren't that bad after all
- so she says 'OK. I won't call your mum just yet. But, I'm going to take you to the doctor, to make sure that it IS just period pain. We'll see what the doctor says'
- doctor says 'it's period pains' (so no emergency, and no need to call mum)
- doctor gives the girl a prescription which will deal with the cause of her horrendous period pains, making life easier for her in future months

The 14 year old's mumm feels guilty. Why?

- because she was away? Well, she can comfort herself with the fact that she had left her daughter with a woman who reacted sensibly to the situation
- because she hadn't taken her daughter to the doctor herself to have the heavy periods checked out? I'm not sure there's much she can do to alleviate that guilt
- because she didn't tell the woman that her child was staying with: 'Oh, if [daughter] starts her period, she'll be rolling around in agony, vomiting, crying etc. It's always like that. Just give her a hot water bottle and some painkillers, and tell her that it'll be better in a couple of days. I keep meaning to take her to the doctor, but you know how it is when you're so busy... Anyway, I'll see you when I'm back from my long weekend!'

I wonder how the thread would have gone if the opening post had been from that perspective?

VitaK

I suspect any parents would be upset if they where not informed, that there kids was in so much pain that a visit to a doctor was needed. When she took her to see a GP she should have contacted the parents to let them know.

Bangton

peachyprice wrote: »

It's a period, something that happens with regularity, not something that needed immediate medical intervention.

In the circumstances the usual thing to do with someone elses daughter who was staying with you would be to make sure you had plenty of sanitry towels/tampons, some big knickers, paracetamol and hot water bottles. All she needed to do was make sure the girl was comfortable and clean, taking her to the doctors wasn't going to achieve anything different, the pill isn't an instant cure for heavy periods.

No it's not instant but frustratingly, as I and others have said, the other mother, I would presume, did not march her to the docs to be specifically put on the pill. The medical professional decided the best course of action.

I have needed immediate medical attention after suffering a period so bad I had to change my pad every 10 mins and lost a lot of blood so I do know sometimes medical attention can be required and whilst I accept the pill is not immediate I don't think the other mother was wrong to take her to docs.

I think it's telling why some girls don't discuss these things with their parents and just go to docs/FPA on their own.

coolcait

There are a number of reasons why opinions are polarised on this thread.

One is that most people have never felt the agony of viciously painful periods. Many won't ever have seen someone else suffer that way (because the sufferers are usually bedbound when they're at their worst).

Personally I have always had very easy periods. I know how lucky I am, because one of my sisters had the viciously painful type. So have two of my friends - both of whom I have stayed with at times when they had their period. (They have all been diagnosed with PCOS).

If you haven't ever seen someone suffer that way, you wouldn't believe that it could be 'just' period pain. But, if the the sufferer insisted it was 'just' period pain, you might hesitate about calling an ambulance, and their mum, at least until you'd taken them to a doctor to see if it WAS 'just' period pain.

The big trigger, however, seems to be that the girl was prescribed the pill . Shock, horror.

It's just a medicine. It has some side effects which need to be looked into. It does not cause promiscuity.

As one poster said 'it's not like she's been given a hysterectomy'.

This is a completely reversible action.

If the girl's mother is adamant that the girl should not take the pill, then she doesn't need to get the prescription, or can take back whatever's left.

It will be for her to discuss with, and explain to, her daughter the reasons why she chooses to withhold a medication which will almost certainly stop the daughter's monthly suffering - and chooses to continue to give her regular doses of strong analgesics which simply dull or mask the symptoms.

Mojisola

coolcait wrote: »

There are a number of reasons why opinions are polarised on this thread.

One is that most people have never felt the agony of viciously painful periods.

The big trigger, however, seems to be that the girl was prescribed the pill . Shock, horror.

Neither of those things come into it as far as I'm concerned. The only issue is that the responsible adult considered the child ill enough to need medical attention but didn't contact the parent to tell her about it.