Living for the Present...after all who doesn't love a gift!

grannyx2

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

lol My closest friend in Essex knows i think (via Dh i suspect), but has not even bothered to message me never mind come round and see me so that says it all to me. From next month when her husband goes back to work and she is at a loose end she can just go whistle for my fantastic company, tea & cakes I will be taking it elsewhere! lol

Just one thought, if you haven't actually told her about your split perhaps she feels funny about getting in touch to see how you are, in case she's not supposed to know. IYSWIM

x

bast

My view is this and please ignore or tell me if I have overstepped the line. You are the person who will be looking after the children the main carer. What you need to decide is how you want this to be worked out.. You need to establish what you want, when you want it and how you want it. As a mum you know your kids come first and they are your priority. Any breakup is bound to be hard for the kids but you are the one dealing with it first hand. So establish the rules. It seems to me you have been the primary carer from the word get go....This is not his fault as he has obviously had to do detached duty. I come from an RAF background so understand all the implications.
At this moment in time you seem to be going for seven shades of !!!! which is only to be expected, but hun take some time for your needs as well, some of your posts are so emotional which is only to be expected. Can he not take the kids out for a day and you have some time for you.. Take care huge huge hugs.............x

please-let-me-be-lucky

So glad you stopped by to let us know you are ok. Well not ok exactly, but ok as you can be.

Ok, I'll stop digging myself a hole now Xx

mandz1

Glad to see your ok (or as ok as can be)

debtfreewannabe321

Hi everyone I hope you're all ok?

I've been spending the last couple of days with my two boys, dd still at nanny's house until tomorrow. Last night ex had ds2 for the night so i got to have a lie-in this morning

Good news on the grocery budget- i'm well in budget this month that will be because i've been staying at families houses and stealing their food instead lol.

Atmosphere in the house is much nicer since dh left. I would like to move asap though! I know what everyone says about not rushing things. But i'm one of those people that once i get a flea in my bonnet about wanting to do something i need it done now! And moving is now that flea in my bonnet I'm not sure how i will move with no money, but i guess that is half the fun (:eek: or not :rotfl:) and not sure when either or where actually :think: (perhaps it does need slightly more thought :rotfl:) but anyway it's pay day soon and i will have dh's wages go into my account for the last time. So i need to set about moving dd's that are his (he can willingly have the CCCS one :rotfl::shhh::whistle: ) meaning i have no more debt :T:j (well unless he kicks up a fuss.....that has not happened yet though so am not contemplating it yet- ignorance a quality to be admired :rotfl::D) so then all i need to do is find moving money, deposit & a place to live. Easy? :eek:

I can then get myself on benefits and look to upping my credit again to a normal level. Still not decided anything about the welsh house but having spoken to my dad they shouldn't really take it into account as i've barely broken even on any income throughout the entire time i've had it for various reasons but having it empty, high interest rates, repairs etc etc have meant i've been more out of pocket than not. So am thinking it will be a good idea to keep that

I've started on the de-cluttering of my home! I love a good de-clutter and it means i can get rid of things and make a little room in my life I've also adapted a new houseworking system to make sure i get my housework done throughout the week. I may share with you all (if you are very unlucky :rotfl:;)) flylady was just a little too much for me, and similarly doing nothing was also a little too extreme (and also meant that i was bored most of the time!)

I've spent a fortune on ds1's uniform :eek: and i mean a fortune!! Probably more than some people's rent for the month :eek::eek: His feet are a size 7/8/9 meaning we have had to try each of these sizes on for rugby boots, trainers, school shoes, walking boots :wall::wall::wall: so he now owns more pairs of shoes than me :eek::eek: am not impressed!

free listing on ebay today, so i hear. So am going to list some old trainers, rugby boots etc and hope to make a few pennies :A:D

Alice_in_Poorland

Good to hear from you DFW321. Hope the lie-in has helped to recharge your batteries.

I can see your point about wanting to get things sorted as soon as possible. You certainly sound more positive.

I know what you mean about uniform and shoes, DS2 has informed us that his football boots are too small. I'm sure he's only worn them in about 5 games!!

Take care of yourself.xx

mandz1

So good to hear from from you, and you sound really good and are keeping yourself busy

grannyx2

Hello lovely, I totally get where you are coming from and having been there myself know that when you know its right for you, you just know. You will get through this honey and come out happier the other side

X

Piquant_2

As always I echo granny! I've been there too and you have to do what feels right. That's not to say, rush at it without thinking it through! But if you feel you need to move, then that's what you need to do.

PinotGrigio41

Been having a quick catch up DFW, glad to hear you feeling more positive this morning.

I too have spent a small fortune on uniform and I still havent finished yet. Its frightening.:eek: I have sold a few paris of trainers and astros that were barely used on ebay, didnt get much but better than nothing and it all goes in the pot .

I echo Great Aunt Piq and Granny. I have many a story I could tell re Afghan, how it affects our DH's, divorce etc etc, I wont bore you all to death with the tales ( although I am very greatful to surburbanwifey for her story, it rang a few bells with me actually ) but you MUST do what you feel is right for you and your family.

Take Care of yourself, glad you enjoyed that much needed lie in xx