Swearing problem

ClareEmily

Boots888 wrote: »

Just please don't come back in a few years time declaring your son has ADHD!!

I will try to restrain myself

Mojisola

The swearing in front of a child and at me would annoy me but what would really upset me would be the way your OH is disregarding your feelings.

If my OH told me that something I was doing upset or annoyed him, I would stop doing it because I love him and care about him. What is it saying about your OH that he continues to swear?

cheeswright

erm... that he has difficulty not using swearing as punctuation.....?
not that he is maliciously trying to disrupt you life or ruin the future prospects of your children.....

ClareEmily

Mojisola wrote: »

The swearing in front of a child and at me would annoy me but what would really upset me would be the way your OH is disregarding your feelings.

If my OH told me that something I was doing upset or annoyed him, I would stop doing it because I love him and care about him. What is it saying about your OH that he continues to swear?

I do agree, it says to others that he doesn't respect me at all. That's why I have posted on here.

Maybe he doesn't love me, respect me, care about my feelings?

paddy's_mum

The point that I think Boots has been trying to make, and for which I have thanked, is that this is relatively new behaviour which smacks of a change in your husband's outlook and/or perceptions.

In short, why is he so utterly unconcerned and contemptuous of your completely reasonable dislike of his appallingly disrespectful behaviour?

Could he indeed be suffering from either depression or stress?

Earlier today, in another completely unrelated thread, somebody suggested that what appears to the listener as offensive or unkind is just that other person expressing a genuine point of view but one that is, at the moment, unwelcome to the listener.

If your husband truly believes that this kind of language is totally acceptable, why isn't he risking his livelihood by practising it upon his customers?

I, too, suspect mental health problems and I would also take a slight issue with your comment that he is not violent. My instant thought was 'not yet'. His conduct reeks of suppressed rage. How are you proposing to deal with that?

Sorry to frighten you and i hope that my thanks count will help you see that I am not a drama queen but have a lifetime of experience, much of which makes me wary.

Trust and confidence have to be earned and your hubby seems hellbent on destroying your faith in him. Such a little thing but also so big. Good luck.

ClareEmily

cheeswright wrote: »

erm... that he has difficulty not using swearing as punctuation.....?
not that he is maliciously trying to disrupt you life or ruin the future prospects of your children.....

hit nail on head thanks

cheeswright

ok - this is my last post on this.....
swearing is not a consious act
it is not like smoking that requires you to go out and buy cigarettes
or alcoholism...or..........it is ingrained in a virtually inaccesible part of your brain that requires alsorts if things to erase it
its not like he's dancing aroud the room singing the F***ty F**k song..!

Bennifred

cheeswright wrote: »

.....
................................swearing is not a consious act
it is not like smoking that requires you to go out and buy cigarettes
or alcoholism...or..........it is ingrained in a virtually inaccesible part of your brain that requires alsorts if things to erase it.......................................................................................

If this was true, then he wouldn't be able to control his language with passengers.

GracieP

ClareEmily wrote: »

What a lovely person you are to be sure

And funnily enough she was banned from another site recently partly* for swearing so much on a site that actually allows swearing .

*Well swearing, racist abuse and trying to buy drugs. She's a tiptop girl.:cool:

ClareEmily

Bennifred wrote: »

If this was true, then he wouldn't be able to control his language with passengers.

Don't think he talks to them if he doesn't need to, especially if a local job lol