When I asked for luck I didn't mean the bad variety!!!

grannyx2

Oh honey of course it makes sense, it's so hard being the carer all the time. Everyone needs a bit of looking after now and then

Hope OH is ok now

Granny x

brizzledfw

Echo what the good folks above say..you need to be looked after too (and to look after yourself).. And there is only so much gas in the tank at times. You can't run on empty.

Is there anyway MIL can look after the boys whilst you get some time to yourself? Walk, meditation, a run? Do your nails? But make it a regular thing?

It will not solve the worry of the seizures and the perpetual 'on edge' feeling, of course, wondering what could befall OH next, but maybe starting to carve some time for looking after you, every week, might help you feel like you are making baby steps

PS.. I am word perfect on the script to PW! :rotfl:

StressedSteph

Hi PLMBL

I have just caught up with your diary, and want to send you millions of virtual hugs xxxxx

I COMPLETELY understand your desire to be whisked off your feet and looked after (for once). It is a tough job being a carer, especially for a husband who probably did, before his accident, take care of you and I would imagine you have a sense of bereavement because of the change of roles you are now dealing with.

I can't beleive there there isn't any more support for you out there.?
Is his confusion an after effect of the seizure?. I wish i could wave a magic wand and solve some issues for you hun. You are going to make yourself ill if you have to carry on like this for much longer.

It's great that your mum and MIL have helped out abit, but I wonder if they could maybe do a little more. I was abit annoyed for you that your mum allowed the children to call you at 7am!!. you would think she might have stalled them for a while, knowing you are so tired. . (sorry if I have spoken out of turn).

Take care hun and like alot of others have said, somehow try to carve out something for you. Maybe even once a week where you can do something that makes you smile. You need it, because your no good to your family completely burnt out.

Big hugs again hun. xxxx

debtfreewannabe321

I agree with the above, it makes perfect sense to me and I really feel for you that roles have been changed so dramatically. You really do need to take some time out for yourself, would the boys going to their granny's on a regular permanent thing be something that your mum/ DH's mum would agree to if you explained your predicament. I think you do a marvellous job and many people in your situation would probably have jacked in work by now to stay at home all day as you have enough on there never mind all the jobs and volunteering you do! Give yourself credit where it's due, you are indeed a wonder-woman of sorts but even those need time out occasionally xxx take care of you xxx

Sun_Addict

I know exactly what you mean Lucky about needing to be the one who's being looked after for once. I feel the same. When Mr SA was well he was the one who took care of me and I hate it now the roles are reversed and I'm sure he does too. Just remember there is someone here who knows what you're going through. Hopefully one day things will get back to normal again for us both. Until then we'll have to muddle through the best we can

beanielou

Keep muddling on & of course keep plodding xx

please-let-me-be-lucky

You are all gorgeously wonderful and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for understanding and not telling me I'm a nut job!!

It's not like we've ever had a relationship where he was the breadwinner/sole decisionmaker/the one who did everything and I was the little lady who was looked after and just had to look pretty! We had a 50/50 split. However, I could say to him 'oh can you just pop out and do xyz' or 'I'm just off out, look after the boys for me' etc etc. It's the feeling of a partnership in those respects that I miss, but the responsibilty also weighs heavy knowing I have to be the memory for all 4 of us and have to keep them all safe and doing the right thing at the right time. To a certain extent I suppose that is just family life though.

I'm going to talk to MiL (and Mum but she is off on holiday AGAIN soon) about how I'm feeling and ask them to help me get some more me time. I don't ask normally as I feel they do enough by being around while I'm at work/Beavers/Meetings/DH's appointments etc, but thinking rationally they are happy to help so I don't see it being a problem.

I have looked at the Carers Group and Headway again and will make an effort to use more of their services. I was put off headway after I contacted them and heard nothing back but I shall try again.

Big hugs to everyone (but especially SA who feels how I do).

Brizzle, I also know ALL the words! "Big mistake, big, HUGE! I have to go shopping now ...." Love it!! Xx

satchmo1

Hi Lucky, I also thought allowing a 7am call was unkind, unnecessary and out of order.


However, I've been thinking that perhaps it's time for a family conference to get a rota sorted so that you can have some planned free time, with guidelines. Also, you haven't mentioned Mr Lucky's friend lately, who often used to come an visit socially. He seemed very reliable for taking Mr Lucky on supervised outings, or for having boys afternoons with Mr Lucky and your sons.


Hugs
Satchmo x

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hi Satchmo,

DH's friend stayed with them last Wednesday while I was at work as MiL had other arrangements. DH is also supposed to be going to his for a couple of hours tonight if he is well enough, so friend is still around. I agree re the 7am wake up call!!

Lost 2lbs last night :j Shows how good wine is for weight loss .

Have done a few jobs for my Mum today as she is stressed about getting everything done before they go on holiday. She is decorating and in the midst of clearing out her partners house as he is moving in with her, and that's without getting everything ready for the hols. She has given me £20 for helping out

I've got horrible tummy pains though and keep needing to rush to the loo . DS1 is off school today as he seemed to be the same this morning, but he's been fine and dandy since 9am and I've been getting worse.

HeadAboveWater

Aw lucky I've just caught up on your diary. Huge, huge hugs to you pet!

beanielou wrote: »

please let me be so lucky~~ You so underestimate yourself.
You are amazingly awesome & don't think that you are not

Agreed!!
You always underestimate yourself! There's no way on earth I could do what you do every single day! I couldn't! Physically, mentally nor emotionally. You have a hard 'job' where you're at and I have every respect for you. Have a think again about what Robin said earlier too.

Can you do one thing for me please? See yourself as we all see you! Read our posts again, and believe them because they're all true!

*hugs*