Losing 1400 when partner moves in

apoorlykitten

ive been working all the time, part time so i can bring up my children. am i wrong in doing so mojisola?

krisskross

apoorlykitten wrote: »

im bloody temtped. our lives at current are good ! when we live together we will both lose out. maybe not because we will be living together. he will be paying the rent/ctax and contributing to bills i will have to ask him for money for other things because mine wont even cover the basics ! ive never had to do this before ive always bought up my self and my kids.

With a huge amount of help from taxpayers!

apoorlykitten

good god, im glad none of you are my friends ! altho i supsect face to face you wouldnt have the balls to say anything to me. via a pc your billy big balls.

Sparklebabey

janninew wrote: »

To be fair I don't think the OP's partner will save any money by not paying his own bills, he will now have another 4 people's bills to pay as well as his own! It's a massive responsibility that he is possibly undertaking, supporting a women and her 3 children, especially since the OP doesn't get any money from the Children's Dad and she herself doesn't earn much.

They've been together 4 years...plenty time to get his head round the responsibility...andthe OP could earn more money but chooses not to as she provides free childcare to her family and gets benefit money instead.

Of course he doesnt have to move in with her if he doesn't want to....at 27K pa he is clearly in a good job and has probably done the sums himself.

janninew

Sparklebabey wrote: »

They've been together 4 years...plenty time to get his head round the responsibility...andthe OP could earn more money but chooses not to as she provides free childcare to her family and gets benefit money instead.

Of course he doesnt have to move in with her if he doesn't want to....at 27K pa he is clearly in a good job and has probably done the sums himself.

Yes I agree with all you say, I just don't think that the OP's partner is going to save himself any money if they move in together as was suggested in the post I replied to.

shellsuit

Your earnings go into the pot.

Your OH's earnings go into the pot.

Any benefits go into the pot.

The rent, CT and all bills come out of the pot.

The shopping comes out of the pot.

The money for the children comes out of the pot.

The money for treats/petrol/kids pocket money etc, comes out of the pot too.

If you work it that way, then you will be fine, but while you're thinking of 'your' money and 'his' money, you're going to have problems.

If he's not willing to share ALL of his money with you and the children (as surely that's what a partnership it all about, sharing every aspect of life?), then what's the point?

It's not worth getting angry with people on here and having a pop at them, when you really should be talking to your OH about the way things are going to work when he moves in.

Dontknowanymore

apoorlykitten wrote: »

good god, im glad none of you are my friends ! altho i supsect face to face you wouldnt have the balls to say anything to me. via a pc your billy big balls.

To be honest, if you were my friend I would say exactly the same if you had asked me the question.
I feel that I wouldn't be being a good enough friend if I wasn't totally honest with you. But that is just me.

Sparklebabey

apoorlykitten wrote: »

ive been working all the time, part time so i can bring up my children. am i wrong in doing so mojisola?

How old are your children? You say one is at college (so essentially a grown up child)...how old are the others?

Sparklebabey

janninew wrote: »

Yes I agree with all you say, I just don't think that the OP's partner is going to save himself any money if they move in together as was suggested in the post I replied to.

No I don't think there will be any savings....but overall the household income will stay the same.

My feeling is that the OP thinks she has to pay 50% of bills which is ludicrous on her wage. She needs to get her head round the fact that essentailly her Partner will be paying all the bills and rent are her wage should be money for treats, on the kids etc

zagfles

And people wonder why the UK has the highest proportion of children in workless household in the whole of the EU, despite having lower than average unemployment. At a massive cost to the UK taxpayer.

Getting sanctimonous about peoples' choices doesn't appear to work.