Losing 1400 when partner moves in

Taadaa

Wow what a turn around. Good for you.

chrissie57

apoorlykitten wrote: »

Ive sat back and watched this thread go beyond control, some of you have made your mind up about me others have sent me private messages which are much more the advice i was asking for.

I didnt mention at the time , because i dint think it was anyones business, but 8 weeks ago i lost a baby at 12 weeks.
This effected me dramatically, made me short tempered, stressed, highly emotional and its only been the last week that ive felt a bit of myself returning ( i took little time off work ) ( no need for any sarcastic comments regarding the amount i work )

I can only apologise for what i have said, reading it back to myself im deeply ashamed of how i came across. Im not using it as an excuse more of a reason, but i have had an awful few months.

Id like to thank all of you, even the ones who havnt been so pleasent. The truth did hurt but its made me re-think my life and change it for the better.

Thanks again,

Have followed this thread with interest and have thanked quite a lot of the posts. I am not going back to unthank them because I was judging responses by your original postings which were a bit:eek:

However - I sort of felt there was an intelligent and articulate woman under the ranting and your last post does not make me doubt this feeling in any way.

I wish you and your family all the best for the future:)

ska_lover

apoorlykitten wrote: »

Ive sat back and watched this thread go beyond control, some of you have made your mind up about me others have sent me private messages which are much more the advice i was asking for.

I didnt mention at the time , because i dint think it was anyones business, but 8 weeks ago i lost a baby at 12 weeks.
This effected me dramatically, made me short tempered, stressed, highly emotional and its only been the last week that ive felt a bit of myself returning ( i took little time off work ) ( no need for any sarcastic comments regarding the amount i work )

I can only apologise for what i have said, reading it back to myself im deeply ashamed of how i came across. Im not using it as an excuse more of a reason, but i have had an awful few months.

Any way this aside i have taken advise (indirectly) from many posters and pm's regarding my situation.

1. Ive changed my hours at work so i no longer have to look after children when im not working.
2. Im currently seeking a second job as my current employer cant offer me more hours.
3. Have discussed in depth the financial changes that will occur when my partner moves in.
4. He isnt a mug lol, he loves me and my children dearly and after having a full chat about all of this, is fully aware of what it will entail moving in with me and the kids. He WANTS to live with us and money doesnt matter.
5. My eldest child is also looking for work, be it a paper boy or a pot and pan washer. He has to stay in education untill the september after his 17th birthday so will be going onto sixth form or college. He currently attends college one day a week. My two other children who are fully capable of going to university ( im not sure why some people would think otherwise) ? are acheiving above the expected level in all subjects, maths being their favourite.
6. I am also taking a course to further my career which will enable me to work more within this industry, im also not a hairdresser in my job lol, i am however a fully qualified Hairdresser to a level 3. I intend to go back into mobile hairdressing when i am not working.
7. I realise now that what i was saying first of all sounds rediculous, the truth being i have had a very easy time whilst being a single parent. Yes ive taken what ive been offered and that ultimately made me scared to be living in the real world.
8. Im not scared any more, just realistic.

Id like to thank all of you, even the ones who havnt been so pleasent. The truth did hurt but its made me re-think my life and change it for the better.

Thanks again,

Good for you, what a turn around!:T

You now sound realistic and up for the challenge.

Just one bit of advice before I toddle off, financially, you would be better of just doing one job, rather than two part time ones, cos you get battered for tax on second jobs.

Good luck - I was harsh, I know - but honestly if I have contributed to this turn around then I am in a way glad.

Mojisola

And be gentle with yourself - eight weeks after a miscarriage is no time at all. Your hormones and emotions may well be up and down for a while yet.

Torry_Quine

Thanks for getting back to the thread and letting us know how things are with you. So sorry to hear of your loss, take care and take time to heal.

This is one of the things that can happen as people can only respond to the information they have.

jp83_2

Congratulations on turning you life around (hopefully)
Can I just add last year my partner earned 12,000 (36hrs week)and I got 5,000 expenses as an apprentice(30hrs a week plus 1 day college). I'm 29 BTW. Please try and consider other peoples hard earned income before moaning about your state given benefits. ***Yes i'm aware if I got knocked up my circumstances would chance from frugal penny pincher to tax credits bananza but honesly does our overpopulated planet really need any more children?!!***

FBaby

Please please don'ttake this the wrong way out its just advice and you are free to take it ode leave it but my experience tells me that you would be in a better position focus on styling as a new family before considering adding a new member. I have found out myself that even when you love each other dearly and every one is supportive of the move it takes write some time for everyone to aghast to what are significant changes to set habits. It can be quite a stressful time. I too had a miscarriage before my partner and I moved in together. I will never really get over it but looking back I realise that we might boot be where we are now had we had the added stress of a new born. You have a lot going on at the moment and if you can wait until you are more settled in your new life.