Losing 1400 when partner moves in

Dontknowanymore

apoorlykitten wrote: »

i lose 1400 a month not 14k ! anyway i came here for advise not to be slammed or made to look bad. i thought this would be place i was offered support and or help. not to be spoken to like i have been.

i have 3 teeneage children plus 2 cats. they all need lunches everyday. my eldest needs money to go to college on the bus, i do not get help for that. i also have to clothe and give them pocket money. it all adds up believe me. i do not live beyond my means and i save every penny when i can.

im simply stating that the benfit system is severly flawed. its sad to think i will be better off not living with my partner. we both work for family run businesses and we both work bloody hard!
also i won tbe gainin g27k, my partner earns that money he won tbe giving it straight to me will he.

oh well i hoped for help and all i got was .........well.........

Well that makes it over £14k a year then, same sort of difference.

Noone is slamming you, just trying to make you see that you are not worse off if you are together.
Also if your children are teenagers can you not increase your workin hours to earn more?

Your partner will not be giving the money straight to you, but surely you both must realise that as the main bread winner he is going to be laying out the most money! If he already lives somewhere I presume he pays rent and bills so why can't he continue to do so at your house and then 'your' money can be used for food and pocket money etc etc.

I have 2 young children myself and I'm looking for a full time job so I know how hard it is, but trust me if I had someone who wanted to join my family, I would do it in an instant if it meant happyness for me and my boys, withstanding any changes in benefits.

System

apoorlykitten wrote: »

oh well i hoped for help and all i got was .........

the truth?

[Deleted User]

apoorlykitten wrote: »

i lose 1400 a month not 14k ! anyway i came here for advise not to be slammed or made to look bad. i thought this would be place i was offered support and or help. not to be spoken to like i have been.

i have 3 teeneage children plus 2 cats. they all need lunches everyday. my eldest needs money to go to college on the bus, i do not get help for that. i also have to clothe and give them pocket money. it all adds up believe me. i do not live beyond my means and i save every penny when i can.

im simply stating that the benfit system is severly flawed. its sad to think i will be better off not living with my partner. we both work for family run businesses and we both work bloody hard!
also i won tbe gainin g27k, my partner earns that money he won tbe giving it straight to me will he.

oh well i hoped for help and all i got was .........well.........

If your children are Teenagers now can you not increase you hours so you earn more than £100 per week?

Sparklebabey

apoorlykitten wrote: »

also i won tbe gainin g27k, my partner earns that money he won tbe giving it straight to me will he.

No I would imagine he should be putting it in the joint account which goes towards your bills....together as a family.

You got a load of help from the Government as you were a single parent on a low income...did you seriously expect you would still get all that help when your Partner moves in? Who earns 27K?

You can't be 'financially independant' and be in a relationship when you are on such a low wage.

AnxiousMum

If you are including housing benefit in what 'you lose', your partner has said he will pay the rent plus the council tax - so did you have to 'top up' the rent or the council tax? You won't have to do that anymore. In terms of household bills - your partner still had rent and council tax to pay out of his wages I assume - he also had utilities, groceries etc. to pay for - which now, will be a joint venture - and should be a monetary savings on the part of both of you. Nobody has suggested that your partner hand over his wages to you - but you do need to work out a 'family' budget, as this in fact is what you are deciding to become.

Is there a reason why you do not get maintenance from the father of your children? The CSA is there to ensure that children are maintained financially by both parents - and you need to do what you can to ensure that he contributes to the financial needs of your children as well. After all - it is him that is 50% responsible for the financial obligations of the children - and while there may be a very valid reason why you have not gone this route - it is something that you need to look at.

miamoo

Your partner must be paying some bills where he is living now?
Rent,council tax,utility bills,food etc. So when he moves in it will be exactly the same, he can cover the bills as he is doing now and you can contribute a lesser amount.
You will be no worse of financially you will just not get any benefits.
The only other advice would be tell the kids to find a saturday job as they are teenagers they can earn there own spends, and try and get maintanance from their dad. Even if he is on benefits you are entitled to £5 a week, wont go far I know but its better than nothing.

Dontknowanymore

CSA are about as useful as a chocolate teapot in my experience

CornishWildFlower

With both of us working (myself & husband) we take home not far off what you receive in benefits each month, probably significantly less when all is accounted for. We have two children and another on the way, we also have to pay all of our rent (£675 pcm) and council tax (£1740 pa) If we can survive on this, you can certainly survive on a combined income of circa £33K.

Derivative

Yes, the benefit system is severely flawed.
It's severely flawed in the sense that you were getting too much money thrown at you to begin with.

If it were me, I'd just sack off the partner and take the free money.

apoorlykitten

i give up, should have gone somewhere else for. clearly a place for do gooding trollers.

i was simply stating that its rediculous the way things work.