Losing 1400 when partner moves in

Idiophreak

anguk wrote: »

But I don't think they do?

No, quite. It's just that you mentioned what they "should" do...and there's an inference that the government should be encouraging people to do what they "should" do. I was just making the point that it's not really for the government, or anyone else for that matter, to prescribe when people "should" live together...

SkyeKnight

MissMoneypenny wrote: »

That's where Universal Credit will come in. Some parents used the welfare payments Tax Credits as a stepping stone to help towards supporting themsleves without the need for welfare; others were happy to sit back and continue to claim welfare payments like these.

I can't see how Universal Credit is going to help. The withdrawal rate of UC is 65% of net income so the OP would still loose loads of income when someone earning £27k moved in - around £13k at a guess. Way more than they are going to save by moving in together unless the OP's partner has massive rent and utility bills.

anguk

zagfles wrote: »

But the "real men" of the past got tax breaks for supporting a family. Can you see a correlation?

Just out of curiosity do you know how much the married man's tax allowance was? We didn't have tax credits when my kids were young, my husband did get the married man's tax allowance but I don't remember it making a huge difference to his pay packet. This was abut 25 years ago though so I can't really remember but I would think people are better off on tax credits than the married man's tax allowance?

his_wife

i shall ignore all the judgemental comments op,,,, when i moved in with my now husband five years ago,, i "lost" 1000 a month in wtc, i was paying full rent , actually i bought my house, as it was cheaper than rent, but thats another story. My husband could only afford to give me 600 a month, so in affect i lost 400 a month.

My husband, had bills and debts of his own, and although we moved in together , we pooled what we could,,, we wernt any better off, however, as the years have gone on, and MY four children got older, i took on more and more shifts to recoup the short fall. Like you , i was used to paying my way, whether it was via benefits or my own money, i found it hard to rely on someone else to support me and my children when he had his own children also to support.

My only suggestion, is that , you try to find extra work, to earn some extra money, but, please, sit with your partner and work your finances out before he moves in, that way there are no hidden surprises for any of you .

good luck

miamoo

I'm not sure why my post got jumped on, I said 'IF' the OP's OH is paying out rent/council tax etc for his own place then he will have that money to use towards her rent/bills.
Yes I know that not everyone pays £800 a month as a single person, but there are plenty that do.
The OP hasnt actually said where her OH lives now so I have no idea if that advice was useful or not.

SkyeKnight

miamoo wrote: »

I'm not sure why my post got jumped on, I said 'IF' the OP's OH is paying out rent/council tax etc for his own place then he will have that money to use towards her rent/bills.
Yes I know that not everyone pays £800 a month as a single person, but there are plenty that do.
The OP hasnt actually said where her OH lives now so I have no idea if that advice was useful or not.

If they are going to save £800 a month on rent/council tax etc that still leaves them £600/month less income than they are used to. I'm not saying this isn't do-able, but it is a massive disincentive to moving in together.

apoorlykitten

i envite you all to come visit me in my family business, to meet me my mum my sisters to see what we have achieved so that all of us can work and provide for our familys. come meet me, my kids and meet my partner who also works in a small family business. Then make a choice if you think im a terrible person ?
im saddened to be honest that you all think im doing something wrong ?
im not !
i want to have a stable family life for my children and i think it is a shame that their father doesnt help towards bringing them up. bare in mind he does have access to the kids. But has never paid a penny since leaving.
I feel for my new partner who has to go from living alone, to living with me and my 3 kids and supporting all 4 of us. my income will reduce dramatically ( yes it is subsidised via tax credit and hb ) and i have every right to feel guilty that i cant go 50/50. i want to ! its not achievable for me to extend my hours, nor do i want to.
All i wanted to know was , did anyone else experience this, how did they deal with it.
what i will say is im gutted that there are so many narrow minded people out there who think im bad. im not entirely sure what ive done wrong, other than be offended by the poisoned tounges of others.

i stand by my thoughts that is youre entitled then claim it !
EVERY SINGLE MOTHER OUT THERE DESERVES A MEDAL ON BENEFIT OR NOT.
i didnt choose to be a single parent, who would ?

Now unless you can give me good advise, like how to broach the subject of 'pooling' my money and my partners. What is fair for me to ask of him etc.

Please dont come on here and be rude. this isnt the place.

apoorlykitten

For youre info, my partner pays 400 a month rent and council tax for a 1 bed flat. when he moves in with me he will be paying 500 a month plus a higher rate of council tax.
i know that i effectivly will be better off if i take my partners money, but he will be worse of by living with me.
it wont stop us doing so but i can totally see why people choose to live apart. living is expensive

Idiophreak

apoorlykitten wrote: »

its not achievable for me to extend my hours

Why? Because it would mean cutting back at the family business?
Because you wouldn't have enough time to act as babysitter for your sisters?
Because you'd miss out on all the quality time you're "entitled" to with your children?

In terms of how you should broach the subject of sharing his money, you say "I need to talk to you about how the finances will work when we live together" and take it from there.

Mara69

apoorlykitten wrote: »

living is expensive

Well there is another option!

Honestly, what a silly statement. Back in the day, people dated, got engaged and married because they loved each other and wanted to make a life together. They generally came from parents' houses to a shared, rented home. They went on to have children, buy a home and share the ups and downs of life. More recently, couples live together, then eventually, in some cases marry. In all cases, the financial burden is shared.

Today, it seems that money has become more important than making a home and raising a family. Yes, our stupid Government (and previous Government's) may have made it financially more viable to live apart than together but it doesn't mean you have to!! What does it say about a person when they put money above sharing a life, home and hearth with the man or woman they apparently love?