Losing 1400 when partner moves in

tescobabe69

NoBS wrote: »

Are you actually self employed (in a partnership) OP or being paid by your family/business?

Employed I guess.


"She works in the studio 2 days a week helping to run our reception and assist with photoshoots. She is a qualified hairdresser and sometimes assists with hairstying on our makeover photoshoots."


Based on the information she stupidly published earlier, whilst at work.

shellsuit

apoorlykitten wrote: »

i envite you all to come visit me in my family business, to meet me my mum my sisters to see what we have achieved so that all of us can work and provide for our familys. come meet me, my kids and meet my partner who also works in a small family business. Then make a choice if you think im a terrible person ?
im saddened to be honest that you all think im doing something wrong ?
im not !
i want to have a stable family life for my children and i think it is a shame that their father doesnt help towards bringing them up. bare in mind he does have access to the kids. But has never paid a penny since leaving.
I feel for my new partner who has to go from living alone, to living with me and my 3 kids and supporting all 4 of us. my income will reduce dramatically ( yes it is subsidised via tax credit and hb ) and i have every right to feel guilty that i cant go 50/50. i want to ! its not achievable for me to extend my hours, nor do i want to.
All i wanted to know was , did anyone else experience this, how did they deal with it.
what i will say is im gutted that there are so many narrow minded people out there who think im bad. im not entirely sure what ive done wrong, other than be offended by the poisoned tounges of others.

i stand by my thoughts that is youre entitled then claim it !
EVERY SINGLE MOTHER OUT THERE DESERVES A MEDAL ON BENEFIT OR NOT.
i didnt choose to be a single parent, who would ?

Now unless you can give me good advise, like how to broach the subject of 'pooling' my money and my partners. What is fair for me to ask of him etc.

Please dont come on here and be rude. this isnt the place.

I did give advice, but you seem to be more interested in having a pop at everyone you don't agree with.

Anubis_2

Now unless you can give me good advise, like how to broach the subject of 'pooling' my money and my partners. What is fair for me to ask of him etc.

If you are not able to comfortably discuss the financial implications of what will be when you move in together, then, you are not ready to move in together.

Soapn

apoorlykitten wrote: »

good god, im glad none of you are my friends ! altho i supsect face to face you wouldnt have the balls to say anything to me. via a pc your billy big balls.

i'd say it to your face, no problem. You haven't paid to bring your kids up, the taxpayer has

tescobabe69

Soapn wrote: »

i'd say it to your face, no problem. You haven't paid to bring your kids up, the taxpayer has

I'm tempted to go round (with Lambrini) but Aylesbury is too far.

Soapn

tescobabe69 wrote: »

I'm tempted to go round (with Lambrini) but Aylesbury is too far.

she's a shining example of many hundreds of thousands of folk in this country though.
If I had any sense I'd use the money we just got from the sale of our house n live somewhere abroad:mad:

tescobabe69

Soapn wrote: »

she's a shining example of many hundreds of thousands of folk in this country though.
If I had any sense I'd use the money we just got from the sale of our house n live somewhere abroad:mad:

You're joking of course, there are far too many foreigners abroad !
There are far too many here too, but thats a whole different story.

kingfisherblue

OP, I'm a single parent on benefits, and I would love to be in your position. I hate claiming from the state, but as my son is severely disabled and needs constant care, I cannot work at the moment. Benefits should be used as a safety net when they are needed. Partners should pool their income and be non-judgemental about who provides more in monetary terms.

You asked for advice, so here's my two penn'orth - sit down with your partner, show him how mch you get now (from benefits as well as earnings) and show him how much you will get when you live together. Note that you will make some savings - only one set of bills (yes, they are likely to be higher than he is used to, but also lower than you both currently pay separately), one TV licence, no travel costs to see each other, etc.

You have had a decent amount of benefits and now have the chance to move on from them. Take it - others don't get the same opportunity.

shortdog

When I started to read this thread, I had some useful advice and help that I could give you, OP. As I carried on reading (which I really wish I hadn't), yo have had a pop at almost everyone, accused them of being rude (when the only person I have seen on this thread being rude was you) and unhelful, and pretty much made yourself look like a bit of a spolit brat.

However, as I am a nice person, I shall post what I was going to when I thought you were pleasant.
Up until just over a year ago, I was a single parent to two kids, the youngest of which is disabled. Their father has had nothing to do with them since the youngest was born, and is currently paying £5/week maintenance. I was (and still am) unable to work, due to the care needs of my son, and the fact that no nursery or childminder would touch him with a bargepole, which left me relying on state benefits to enable me to care for my children. I hated every minute of it, although the state are fairly generous to people in my situation, but I hated feeling as though everyone else was paying for my kids, and there was nothing I could do about it.
However, last year my partner moved in. He is on slightly more than minimum wage (working full time), and was more than happy to take on me and my two children. As he had been living with his parents previous to here, he had no idea how much it cost to run a house, car (essential due to son, not allowed mobility allowance), two kids, etc, but, as we are both adults, we sat down, talked about it, and worked out how much we would have coming into the household, what the outgoings were, and what was left over.
Due to the ridiculous amount of money handed to single parents, we now have about £200/month less coming into the house than when I was here on my own, and, of course, there is an extra adult here too, but we want to be together, so we have figured out a way to make it work. There is little money left over for luxuries, or anything other than the bare essentials really, but the kids are loved, cared for, fed, and happy, and that is the main thing.
OP, your partner is on substantially more wages than mine, and so you should find things a lot easier, especially since your kids seem to be a lot older than mine. It's just a matter of working out what can be cut back and where, and ways to raise extra money if possible.
Good luck.

SnowWhiterThanWhite

apoorlykitten wrote: »

EVERY SINGLE MOTHER OUT THERE DESERVES A MEDAL ON BENEFIT OR NOT.

Sorry OP, but I disagree. My Medal of Honour goes to those parents, single or not, who go out to work, struggle with their daily child-care duties, mostly too knackered to have quality time with their kids, but carry on, because being a parent means taking responsibility.
I want my kids to grow up knowing the value of money, and to understand how important it is to make the most out of life.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.