New Dmp Mutal Support Thread

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Newlywed I hadn't missed any payments prior to dmp but knew I couldn't carry on like that as the house of cards was about to fall - I'm happy to go with CCCS for the reasons lonely said but I understand why you want to try diy. There really is no stigma attached to CCCS/Payplan just support and ontap advice but the same goes for diy cause advice always available here and lots of people DIYing
Hi lonely, when you planning to tell your husband - I still can't/won't - unlikely ever to find the right time!! Hope it goes well!

lonely_2

newlywed wrote: »

He already knew about the debt. Just that he thought now he had a job and was paying the rent etc that my debt would be going down.

Well, it is going down but i pay over £1000 a month and it only goes down by £300. :mad:


As for doing my own DMP - I think it's more a case of wanting to be in control. I've messed up by myself so I kinda think I ought to be sorting it out by myself. On the other hand, the thought of just making one monthly payment to the debt is very appealing.

Newlywed, at least you know how much your debt goes down by each month. I wouldn't have a clue! If you do think doing your own DMP is right for you, there are some very good template letters on a website called UK Insolvency Helpline (google it). Even if you decide to go through a third party it doesn't hurt to write to each of your creditors and let them know what you are doing before DMC contacts them, especially if you have had a previously good relationship and maintained your payments.

With the hubby situation, all my debts are my own too - and I don't want him paying towards them. That's why I am not telling him (or that's what I keep telling myself). How did yours find out?

Sea78

newlywed - I am also told that it is my debt and therefore all my fault. He enjoyed the things the debt (and my larger salary) bought such as a car, wedding, honeymoon, 2 kids, nice places to live, nice furniture, enough food, beer, fags etc.

I like having the backup of CCCS and I feel, personally, that for me it is the best way as I would still be asking for interest stopping etc if I was DIY but a at least one of my creditors has said because you are with CCCS we are stopping interest and charges. Because i get NO support (emotionally) from OH I needed this and a structure who woul dhelp. Just a thought, but lots have done it DIY fine so that's good as well.

4maxine - thanks for sharing your experience. It does help to hear that it all quietens down and things can just carry on, even if tight moneywise.
Sea xx

daysieblue

newlywed wrote: »

As for doing my own DMP - I think it's more a case of wanting to be in control. I've messed up by myself so I kinda think I ought to be sorting it out by myself. On the other hand, the thought of just making one monthly payment to the debt is very appealing.

TBH, when we started ours we stumbled upon NDL, and found them really helpful and at the time we weren't aware that 3rd parties were around, apart from NDL warning us against using the ones that charge. So by the time we had heard of CCCS (Hellifax's preferred DMP co) we already had agreement from 95% of our creditors. We had very little trouble getting them to stop interest, although Egg were very quick to pass us on to a DCA. That DCA is now currently being paid less than we offered Egg!

I must say, I do still find it stressful when the letters come (every 5-6 months) and the phone calls when you speak to a complete idiot who has a script and no knowledge to be able to come off script. In the beginning I would often get off the phone and be in sobs of tears (but only after hanging up, never gave them the satisfaction!!!!) One tip - on a couple of occasions I have spoken to someone quite obtuse, have then called straight back and spoken to someone human and got exactly what I wanted ALWAYS get their name

Right, think I have babbled enough, going to go and have my tuna bagel :beer:
db xx

newlywed

lonely wrote: »

With the hubby situation, all my debts are my own too - and I don't want him paying towards them. That's why I am not telling him (or that's what I keep telling myself). How did yours find out?

I told him. It got to the point where he knew I had a loan and cards. But he kept saying we'll do this and buy that and get this and he had no work and I was buying his food (before we were married) so I told him. He was stunned but said its our problem and we'll work it out.

Then a few months after we were married when he still had no work and wanted to buy things, I sat him down again and said we had to do something so he started looking through the job papers. Still took a while longer before he got work though.

Honestly tell your OH. Each time I have, it has meant that the petty arguments reduce. Before I told him we would snap at each other every time any suggestion was made that cost money. When you explain then a weight gets lifted.

4maxine

Daysieblue - As you say, I still get letters and phone calls every 6 months but by now I don't even bother arguing. As soon as I get the 1st phone call, I just tell them that I'll get in touch with Payplan. Then I call Payplan to remind them to send everyone their nice little piece of paper. That way, I only get a couple of calls as most of my creditors get the info before they ask for it. :cool:

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

tbh my oh has never dealt with our money, after 23.5 years of marriage I've given up trying to involve him!! Mines a long story and posted in a seperate thread many,many months ago. I suggested recently that he have his own bank account (we've always had a joint one) and split the bills etc and he looked terrified - like I'd announced I was going to leave him - lol!! But the upside of this is he doesn't spend money (at all) just on groceries etc anything big things we buy together or I get. On the downside I don't get any surprise pressies or short breaks etc cause everything is joint he can't just go and spend - not that we've ever been in the position to do that anyway - how on earth did I get into this much debt I've got absolutely nothing to show for it!!! Just silly spends on nothing I guess but oh the shame!! We don't have arguments about money cause we've never had it - lol!! But he does sulk if he thinks of something he may want and I say we can't have it - I just let him get on with it. Actually in the past I gave in and whilst we don't have a new flash car we do own an old caravan and an older pajero etc ..... pre lbm perhaps thats where the debts stem from lots of "cheap?" buys that spirall - hmm I wonder!!

Ex-Spendaholic

Newlywed I was initially going to do my own. Hellifax and Cahoot told me it had to be through CCCS or Payplan. I'm glad that I did go with CCCS. There is security in that (or I think there is anyway). Creditors seem to respect CCCS and it's great saying "I'm with CCCS" on the phone. I know it feels like you are out of control if it's with someone else but you can do what I did and start ringing your creditors to see if they have accepted. 8 of mine have accepted and froze interest. Ironically Cahoot and Hellifax are getting less than half of what I offered them when I wanted to do my own. I'm just waiting on one GE who claim not to have received documents. I have phoned CCCS again this morning and they are having them resent. I'll sort them by the end of March if it's the last thing I do.

Hello to everyone else. Lonely what did you do about the work situation?

Ex-Spendaholic

IDAAS what you have just written could have been written by me. My story is identical. My OH does buy on ebay though. He doesn't do shops. I try to sell enough so he has the funds to buy other nonsense. He works really hard so he deserves something.

in_debt_again_but_dealing_with_it

Ex ditto to that my husband like ebay too - silly cheap things mainly, you know essentials like a hand grenade(?) or the knife thing that goes on the end of a gun (oh I mean a bayonet) useful stuff like that ... doh!! Like yours he deserves it - sometimes!! lol
x