Am I wrong? *Rant*

wild_rose

Deep breaths...:mad:

Me and my OH have arranged for 4 friends to come over for dinner next weekend as we haven't seen them for a long time.

Money is tight so we will be offering a MSE meal and our guests have agreed that they will bring drinks.

A couple of days ago I discovered that my OH has been ringing all and sundry (including members of my family that I don't get along with AND his ex-girlfriend's mum!) to invite them to our 'party'.

I blew into a rage at him not discussing this with me, especially as now it's gone from 4 guests to nearly 30 with a couple of them (with children) being invited to sleep over! :eek:

His excuse is that he thought it would be a good idea, my response is that he had no right to take it upon himself to organise something without my input.

I found out because I overheard him speaking to my brother and when I asked why he was, he became vague so I asked him who else he had invited...he said no-one.

I looked at his phone (in front of him and he did not stop me) and saw all of the other calls he had made.

He is raging because I looked at his phone and is upset that he can't invite people to come over (we ARE skinter than skint!) but refuses to see why I'm upset.

Am I wrong?

aliasojo

Your OH is an idiot. You are not wrong.

He's not an idiot for wanting to invites loads of people. He's an idiot for not discussing any of it first. Especially since money is tight and it also now involves a sleepover for some.

I'd be tempted to go have my own sleepover at a friend's house and let him get on with his own arranging for his own party. Let's face it, it's not 'your' party any more is it, it's his.

TeaCake

He is an idiot, I would phone the 4 original people to ask if they could come another time and take a bottle of wine over to a girlfriends and let him sort it out.

jamespir

what if hed have wanted to do it as a surprise party for you its seems people are so quick to judge

go_cat

Could they all bring some some contribution to the meal e.g someone bring dessert etc so it doesn't cost you any more ?

Then your OH needs a good talking to about money and how much things cost

jamespir

aliasojo wrote: »

Your OH is an idiot. You are not wrong.

He's not an idiot for wanting to invites loads of people. He's an idiot for not discussing any of it first. Especially since money is tight and it also now involves a sleepover for some.

I'd be tempted to go have my own sleepover at a friend's house and let him get on with his own arranging for his own party. Let's face it, it's not 'your' party any more is it, it's his.

TeaCake wrote: »

He is an idiot, I would phone the 4 original people to ask if they could come another time and take a bottle of wine over to a girlfriends and let him sort it out.

funny people quick to judge i was right

mildred1978

When was he planning on telling you? As you got your frugal meal for 4 out of the oven?

I've dumped men for less than this!!

aliasojo

jamespir wrote: »

what if hed have wanted to do it as a surprise party for you its seems people are so quick to judge

Even if that's the case, so what? He's still an idiot.

Sensible people do not even consider doing things like this when money is tight.

milliemonster

James it's all very well saying it could have been a surprise party for the OP but she has already said they are absolutely skint!

I would be fuming with my OH if he organised a surprised party for me that cost us money we don't have.

I would do as the others have said, I would speak with the 4 people you originally invited and arrange to meet up for a drink somewhere and leave him to it, you are right to be angry

74jax

I wouldn't mind this. If my OH wanted to arrange something like this is have just let him. Maybe he wanted to surprise you. He invited them, he can sort food etc out, I'd just enjoy the party.

I often invite friends over as does oh, if I invite I do all the plans and vice versa.

I would be inclined to just enjoy the evening with good company.

jamespir

aliasojo wrote: »

Even if that's the case, so what? He's still an idiot.

Sensible people do not even consider doing things like this when money is tight.

milliemonster wrote: »

James it's all very well saying it could have been a surprise party for the OP but she has already said they are absolutely skint!

I would be fuming with my OH if he organised a surprised party for me that cost us money we don't have.

I would do as the others have said, I would speak with the 4 people you originally invited and arrange to meet up for a drink somewhere and leave him to it, you are right to be angry

we dont know the full story he could have asked each person to bring some food or drink it could have just been a social get together (just because people come over dont mean you have to feed them ) but its another thread where bitter women have jumped on a man because he made a mistake