Birth Mother

AlisonHarrison

I am so, so happy for you SDWE. She really must have been waiting for years for you to contact her when she has responded so quickly. You really deserve this. You have handled it so compassionatly.
You are right that she will never replace "mum", but she will be one very special friend.
When my own mum died when I was young I used to dream that I would find out that I really was adopted and would find that I really did have a mum like anyone else. I feel so guily about that now. I feel that I have rejected my own mum.
I sincerely hope that it all works out for you.

hazyjo

Thanks for keeping us updated - hope you continue with updates so we know how it's turning out!

(Hope you're not already wondering if deafness runs in the family )

Will add something here if I ever decide to trace - but can't see it happening. This has been such a popular/followed thread. I've loved keeping up to date with it all.

Wishing you all the best.

Jx

seven-day-weekend

whitewing wrote: »

It's exciting but I guess a bit scary still though, or do you feel very comfortable with it all?

Did you know much about the circumstances of your adoption, SDW? You may have stated earlier on the thread but I have heard a few adoption stories in the last few days and they are all muddling in to each other.

Not really, other than she was an unmarried mother in 1950, so she had not much of a choice.

I have now posted the second letter, with photographs annd a couple of suggested days for my visit.

pixnmix_2

:T So happy for you seven-day-weekend. Great news

NickyBat

I too am excited for you

seven-day-weekend

I think it would be really nice if this thread inspired other adoptees/birth parents to try to find each other. I didn't think of doing it for years and years, and certainly wouldn't have done it if my adopted parents were still alive (although I'm sure they would have understood), but now I've done it I'm actually quite ecxited (although anxious too) at the prospect of getting to know her.

If anyone wants to post their experiences here on my thread , please do so. Some people already have. Even if it is about doubts and fears as to what to do. It would be good to have an 'adopted children support' thread, I think.

Anyway, I'm waffling. One thing I do want to ask advice on. My birth father is not mentioned on the birth certificate. Do you think I should ask her about that (not on the first visit, lol!) or should I not mention it, and leave it to her to decide?

Your thoughts appreciated.

epsilondraconis

Regarding asking about your birth father, I would 'play it by ear' on the first visit. If she is chatty and happy to answer questions, then you may as well take the plunge.

Hope it all works out for you and thanks for updating the thread SDW.

whitewing

I think your BM would expect you to be curious. I also think you will be able to gauge whether or not to ask. It may come up naturally if she sees you because you may look like him or have his mannerisms.

scot88

SDW..just catching upwith your thread..Fantastic news that all has gone well. Please do keep us updated when you can. I all the very best to you all.

crutches

So pleased for you