How many chances do you give someone?

thatgirlsam

Lord, your son had a breakdown because of the behaviour in the marriage, yet you are staying together???

Do your son a favour and break up, for gods sake woman, you should be putting him first, not yourself.

thatgirlsam

BLUEBIE wrote: »

Nah she has left, leaving her kids behind as well, she is a real piece of work, but I won't go into that here, she takes delight in texting me occasionally to let me know they are still seeing each other.

Don't think that she is a worse parent than you

You are failing to protect your son - he had a breakdown! That is serious emotional trauma

How old is he?

VK-2008

hey
not read replies just opening post, but i personally wouldnt give any more chances, there is only so many chances that can be given and he may be taking advantage of your kind nature thinking he has a hold of u because you have gave him chances and also the kids
i am not saying it would be easy to split up but i personally would give it a try you would not be constantly looking over your shoulder thinking abut what he could be up 2

Threebabes

Cheating husband 0 chances, everyone else 1 chance.

x

Lancslass1982

There is absolutely no way on God's earth that I would be giving my OH another chance OP!
My ex fiance cheated on me. He was a footballer, staying in a hotel a couple of nights a week and the only reason I found out was because the idiot accidentally called me whilst in his hotel room with her! I listened to 10 minutes of flirting, then he brushed his teeth and asked her which side of the bed she wanted!:rotfl: He did not get another chance.
If I was you OP, I would be actively encouraging him to move out and live with the other woman! Save yourself from a lifetime of betrayal and heartache!

Ellejmorgan

jenhug wrote: »

I'm a fan of the advice "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"

I love this thank you

olibrofiz

Chances? None I'm afraid. And if I did give one, 'keep texts to a minimum,' would not even come into the equation.

I couldn't live my life wondering when my partner would do it again. And he will. Hard, but, move on.

Ellejmorgan

my ex was treating me like an idiot, hence the word ex..I had our baby in December and he'd done alsorts, threatened to take my baby away from me, witheld her so i couldn't breastfeed, shout at me infront of the kids and at them and be generally a pain..

i'd had previous bad behaviour from him and i divorced him, this was his last chance..I took 10 weeks of crap from when the baby was 3 days old..i tried to get him to the doctors thought i could get him to change..truth is i couldn't and no one ever can..he's disfunctional and that's all there is to it..

i'm disabled, i am waiting to have a disk removed from my neck and i already have limited mobility from previous disk problems..life is very hard and i knew when i told him to go it would be..it is 3 kids by myself and in poor health..

In some ways i am better off, many things are easier..i have more money as it doesn't go missing and I can be with people who really love me and like me, people say that i even look different that i hold my head up..
Life is too short and if i can cope then you certainly will, you deserve respect and happiness...

rising_from_the_ashes

I have given 2nd chances in the past (and probably would do again) but IMHO that's enough - if it happens again, then that's it for me..... the "sooking" up / "lovey dovey" actions after the event stem from being found out - not from genuine remorse - or it wouldn't keep happening.

Sorry I know it's hard to accept but as others have said, you need to think of you & your kids and a) the effect it's having on them now and b) whether it will teach them that it's OK to treat partners like this in their adult lives.

Caroline_a

Dear OP.

This is going to sound harsh, but sometimes people need to have stuff pointed out to them. Apologies in advance.

Firstly, you are teaching your children that it's ok to treat mum/women like dirt. It's ok to lie and cheat because you'll get forgiven if you whinge enough.

Secondly, you are being selfish and putting your OH and yourself first. 'where would he go?' ... who gives a stuff??? he's made his bed, off he goes to lie in it. You wouldnt need to sell the house until the children are 18, and he would have to pay you money for the children's upkeep. You are being selfish because your children cannot be happy in such an environment - witness your son's breakdown.

You are taking the easy option, letting this toad get away with whatever he wants to do, because you are being a coward.

You can live on your own, you can survive without him, and I'm damn sure your children can. Stand up for yourself and be a strong woman! There are plenty of support organisations out there, have the courage to do what's right.