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My eldest holiday with the lads....
Comments
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I'm surprised so many people are saying it's only £19 and should be an issue ... if it had been a thread about how a family meal had cost £19 more than expected because everyone else insisted in splitting the bill I bet the responses would be different.
No it wouldn't
if i'm going out for a meal with my family then we divide it between the numbers that are there simple, no issues, fuss no arguments. 0 -
I'm surprised so many people are saying it's only £19 and should be an issue ... if it had been a thread about how a family meal had cost £19 more than expected because everyone else insisted in splitting the bill I bet the responses would be different.
The difference being a family meal is not £300+ pp so as a percentage its a small charge. The son has already agreed to go on holiday (quite a luxury item) if £19 isnt affordable then they cant really afford to go on holiday.
If i was having a family meal and a member of the family couldnt afford to go and i could afford to have them come i would pay for their meal so i could enjoy their company. Like wise with friends.
By all means kick up a fuss not a problem but it will not solve a lot and will only serve to cause friction in a group of 9 people who they will be staying with for a week or 2, smooth relationship on holiday is worth £19 imo.
The other option if the op's son is that miffed at paying the £19, offer to not good and sell his ticket to the lad who wants to. Not an option?! Grin and bear it!0 -
That's what I'd do if I could afford it in these circs. Bank of Mum and Dad. "Here son, I know it's a lot of money to you, you weren't expecting the bill and didn't know about it due to being at work, so here's £20 keep the quid'.To you £19 is the cost of ordering a pizza if he has mates round. If he really can't afford it then you could pay it for him.
It's one of those unexpected gestures that gets you a hug from a child who no longer thinks that's cool (or would be in our house). Of course I'd have to think DS currently 'cute' to do it. If he was stomping round like a bear with a sore head I'd be ignoring him and thinking blissfully to him being away. 0 -
I'm surprised so many people are saying it's only £19 and should be an issue ... if it had been a thread about how a family meal had cost £19 more than expected because everyone else insisted in splitting the bill I bet the responses would be different.
It's a holiday though, the original outlay is far more than a group of lads would be paying for a meal. And the person concerned doesn't get more than anyone else - nobody is subsidising someone having more than them, it's just a change of plan which means it's costing everyone a bit more is all.
If they didn't all put the money together to cover it the new lad would be paying £160 more than them for the same hol. Not having anything extra.0 -
I'm surprised so many people are saying it's only £19 and should be an issue ... if it had been a thread about how a family meal had cost £19 more than expected because everyone else insisted in splitting the bill I bet the responses would be different.
I'm working on the assumption that the original 8 lads have split the cost of the holiday equally already. So in comparison to the meal thing, it'd be like saying "Lets go for a meal and split the bill", getting everyone's agreement, then someone else being invited along who has special nutritional limitations so their dinner might cost a fiver or tenner more than the others - so their £25 split bill is now £28. Would it be fair to agree to splitting the bill when it benefitted you (e.g. knowing that someone else would only get £20 of food and you could get £30 but only pay £25) but suddenly disagreeing with the whole notion when it might cost you a little extra?
I do think it would have been the fair thing to make sure absolutely everyone was on board, it's rude to effectively spend someone else's money without their permission, but the other 7 lads have made sacrifices as such so OP's son can go with them (they've probably all saved money by grouping together but sacrificed privacy, or perhaps compromised on the holiday dates to suit everyone) and they just want to include an extra friend in the same manner.0 -
Why isn't your son mature enough to deal with this himself? Why aren't you mature enough to give advice without posting the entire story on the internet?
There are a small number of people who seem to have become so reliant on MSE that they feel the need to share every insignificant detail of their lives and seek validation for every decision they make, regardless of how inconsequential it is.I'm surprised so many people are saying it's only £19 and should be an issue ... if it had been a thread about how a family meal had cost £19 more than expected because everyone else insisted in splitting the bill I bet the responses would be different.It's not a lot of money but the way it comes across (which might not be how it is) is that some guy the son isn't really friends with has invited himself on their holiday and they're having to pay the extra costs.
I know I'd be annoyed if that was me but he doesn't really have any other choice than to pay it.
The OP did say that her son was at work when he got the texts. I don't know what he does but a lot of places won't even let you keep your phone on you while you're working.
EDIT: I did have the meal thread in mind when I read this Jellyhead
It's about perpective. If I did my weekly shop in Tesco and the milk there cost 19p more than Iceland down the road, I'd probably just get the milk at Tesco to save an extra trip. If the milk in Tesco cost £19 more than at Iceland, I wouldn't be willing to take the hit and would go to Iceland afterwards.
£19 in the context of a holiday is peanuts.
As with those wishing to quibble over a fiver in the bill splitting thread; if a fiver is going to bankrupt you, you shouldn't be eating out, and similarly, if £19 is the difference between you paying your rent or not, you shouldn't be booking a foreign holiday.:cool:0 -
When they were booking the holiday, if (for example) it had been £319 instead of £300 he wouldn't have really pulled his face about it surely? Also, if he is going to Ibiza, he can expect to pay a lot more than £19 for drink or two in any of the big clubs!0
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As with those wishing to quibble over a fiver in the bill splitting thread; if a fiver is going to bankrupt you, you shouldn't be eating out, and similarly, if £19 is the difference between you paying your rent or not, you shouldn't be booking a foreign holiday.:cool:
But in this context nobody is subsidising anybody else. In a restaurant situation it isn't about bankrupting you, it's about fairness in that your extra money is paying for something more expensive that someone else has had.
The unfortunate scenario here is that the original apartments were full. Had this new lad come along and made numbers up to 8 everyone would be paying less!0 -
But in this context nobody is subsidising anybody else. In a restaurant situation it isn't about bankrupting you, it's about fairness in that your extra money is paying for something more expensive that someone else has had.
The unfortunate scenario here is that the original apartments were full. Had this new lad come along and made numbers up to 8 everyone would be paying less!
Sorry, I'm not sure what your point is? Are you disagreeing with me on something? I can't see that you are.:p0 -
That's what I'd do if I could afford it in these circs. Bank of Mum and Dad. "Here son, I know it's a lot of money to you, you weren't expecting the bill and didn't know about it due to being at work, so here's £20 keep the quid'.
It's one of those unexpected gestures that gets you a hug from a child who no longer thinks that's cool (or would be in our house). Of course I'd have to think DS currently 'cute' to do it. If he was stomping round like a bear with a sore head I'd be ignoring him and thinking blissfully to him being away.
I have done this already went into town from posting this morning and went to the travel agents and asked if I could pay the £19 for my son as he was quite stressed out about it and yes to re-iterate it was and is only £19 but to a lad it is a lot of money as said 4 hours work and he has not got unexpected money to flitter around especially not some that he did not even know he owed in the first place.
He has come back in thanked me and rang round his mates to tell them, all good.
What it has to do with me? I don't like seeing my son upset, terrible mother, shoot me.
Thank you all for the helpful and positvely useless silly digging posts:D0
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