I want a social life!!!

newcook

I go to a local sports and social club and while I don’t actually take part in any of the sport groups I love the social side!
I also love the fact that if I want to go out for a couple of drinks I can go to my social club on my own and not be worried about if there will be any of my friends there as there are always other members to sit and chat with.

I also like that Im not going to get hit on by some random bloke thinking Im out on the pull/desperate as Im out on my own!

IenjoyAbargain

Sensible_Jess wrote: »

It's Friday night and I am BORED.

Fed up of not having a social life of my own since I moved to be with OH three years ago.... everything in that direction always revolves around OH's friends. Lovely though they are, they are not 'my' friends and I miss having my own life.

I've tried to join a few things here, but it either involves people not my own age (a lot older) which is not the same, or else revolves heavily around 'singles'. Once it's discovered that I'm not single and am purely out to make 'friends' I get ignored or made to feel uncomfortable for wanting to be out on my own. (what's wrong with you OH, why isn't he here with you, etc etc)

It doesn't help that my work can be unpredictable, with regular working late into the night not uncommon, so anything requiring a regular commitment during the week (e.g. evening classes) is not practical as inevitably I'll have to miss a session to work.


What does everyone else do? Any ideas to kick start my social life again?

Edit - just wanted to say I'm not ageist, it's just nice to have some friends around your own age bracket!!

I could of written this ! I too moved to be with OH and am surrounded by his friends and family, so I can totally relate.

I work very unsocial hours and I don`t have any pets of children. I joined a gym recently and I discovered that the only people that go at the times when I can go are SAHMs or retired older ladies. I don`t have a problem with this but it really does not make for much friends making when you can`t really relate to either group.

My older friendships with people back home have faded a bit over time too, I see people a couple of times a year and try to keep in touch but its really not the same when life takes you in such different directions. I realise that, unlike most people, I`m not too fussed for an actual social life( i.e don`t need to go out to not feel bored) as much as I miss the friendships and the chatting away silly girly stuff.

I`m sorry I don`t really have any suggestions just wanted to say you`re not alone and didn`t want to read and run

heartbreak_star

Salsa classes are great for getting out and socialising...and before I get all the "oh no I can't dance" thing, if you can cout to 8 you can salsa

HBS x

poppy10_2

heartbreak_star wrote: »

Salsa classes are great for getting out and socialising...and before I get all the "oh no I can't dance" thing, if you can cout to 8 you can salsa

HBS x

Bit awkward to go on your own, though

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

poppy10 wrote: »

Bit awkward to go on your own, though

No it isn't.

I play in a club on Monday nights - in the adjacent room they hold salsa classes, two a night plus a dance afterwards.

It's packed with men and women of all ages and sizes, singles and couples. Everybody seems to be having a great time, too. And one person I know actually has begun to travel the world as a result of starting one salsa class when he was about 50 - and he's out every night of the week he wants.


I go to jamming sessions, and play a few gigs - all as a result of deciding to learn a musical instrument. There are ukelele groups, for example, which are really relaxed and it's easy to learn (you don't even need to spend £20 on a uke, often they have spares to lend out), or community singing projects, or movie nights in pubs - lots of things.

hazyjo

Do you drive? Have a car? Thinking of getting one/changing it?

I have a smart car and there are tonnes of things going on with fellow owners. I don't join in any now, but there were a great bunch of people - not all car talk/blokes looking at engines! Loads of girls too. Meets all over the country, some monthly or more frequently in some areas, usually just pub visits, but they'd also do daytrips and holidays and all sorts. Absolutely great way to meet people.

I did drive round the M25 with tonnes of other smarts a few years ago! Rather a strange daytrip, but fun nonetheless! It was a yearly event that one - not sure if they still do it.

Failing that, the book group always works - keep looking for something near where you live. I used to belong to one in Woodford, but it became more of a 'pub group' and we all just stopped reading or recommending books. One of the women I knew already, but she introduced me to two of her friends at the group and now the four of us do quite a lot together, including weekends away. And around a dozen or so of us meet up every Christmas for a night out at a local hotel which throws a bit of a bash (meal/disco) throughout December.

Jx

MzFitz

Has anyone tried meetup.com? I've "joined" two of the groups in the last few days (on a similar mission to get a social life), but not been to events yet.

I also belong to a London Theatre Club, discounted tickets for shows, but everyone else seems to go as a couple, and I'm the sore thumb on her own ....

minerva_windsong

This might be a bit of a daft suggestion, but if there isn't the type of activity you want, could you maybe start a club? That's what a friend of mine did - he's very into creative writing but couldn't find any groups locally, so he asked places like the library, church halls etc if they'd accommodate them, and put up some adverts in the library and local council offices and asked friends to put out messages on Facebook and Twitter. The group has now been going for about two years and has seven or eight regular members. So something like that could be an idea.

Plus if you're running it, it means you can effectively set it to your schedule - if there's a particular day or time of the month when you tend not to have late finishes, or even just saying 'meet once a month' and then setting the exact date closer to the time.

AllyS

Another one that could have written this post. I too moved to be with my OH, he has lots of friends, but really does not like socialising :mad:

I get on very well with his friends and really enjoy their company but it seems hard to cross the boundary of them being my friends and they only seem to want to go out with us as a couple and with OH not liking going out very often, this proves very difficult.

I have joined a couple of clubs and I have plenty of people to chat too, but still no one that I could call to go out with on a Friday night, even work don't really socialise very much!!

I have just got some casual work at a bar so that will be social life for the summer season anyway :rotfl:

I will be checking out some of the online groups that people have posted too. Just wanted you to know you are not alone in finding making friends difficult! I miss my old friends!!!