I want a social life!!!

Sensible_Jess

It's Friday night and I am BORED.

Fed up of not having a social life of my own since I moved to be with OH three years ago.... everything in that direction always revolves around OH's friends. Lovely though they are, they are not 'my' friends and I miss having my own life.

I've tried to join a few things here, but it either involves people not my own age (a lot older) which is not the same, or else revolves heavily around 'singles'. Once it's discovered that I'm not single and am purely out to make 'friends' I get ignored or made to feel uncomfortable for wanting to be out on my own. (what's wrong with you OH, why isn't he here with you, etc etc)

It doesn't help that my work can be unpredictable, with regular working late into the night not uncommon, so anything requiring a regular commitment during the week (e.g. evening classes) is not practical as inevitably I'll have to miss a session to work.


What does everyone else do? Any ideas to kick start my social life again?

Edit - just wanted to say I'm not ageist, it's just nice to have some friends around your own age bracket!!

krlyr

Do you have any pets? I made quite a few friends through various species of animals I've owned, e.g. going to fancy rat shows, going on group dog walks arranged on dog forums, doing volunteer dog walking for a local rescue, etc. - no emphasise on matchmaking and I haven't ever found them to be worried about how old or young others are!

Bluemeanie_2

Are you in Leicester?

Sensible_Jess

Thanks - no dog as we work too long hours during the week! I'm more a cat person and OH more a dog person. We did serious research on getting a dog this time last year but it's just not practical for us both and would be completely unfair to the dog. (plus he wanted a pure bred beagle which I'm reliably informed is the WORST to leave on their own for any length of time as they'll chew your house to bits!!!)

I like the sound of helping out dog walking (or whatever) at an animal shelter - would they need a regular commitment do you think or happy for volunteers on a 'ad hoc' (but with notice) basis?

Sensible_Jess

Bluemeanie wrote: »

Are you in Leicester?

Nope - I'm 'down south'.

What would you have suggested if I was in Leicester?

Bluemeanie_2

We have a group on there that ladies in a similar situation set up to make friends with other women only. No men wanting dates, etc.

krlyr

The place I walked at was just ad hoc, any day of the week as little or often as you could manage - you attended an arranged induction to be shown the ropes/rules but after that you could turn up alone or on the arranged group walks with other volunteers. I also fostered one of the kennel dogs over the Christmas period, while I was off work (not practical to do it the rest of the year, but it got a kennel dog into a warm home for a couple of weeks and gave me a chance to assess its behaviour outside of kennels)
Where abouts "Down South" are you (a South Eastener here myself, might be able to suggest a rescue near you)?

Dunroamin

Sensible_Jess wrote: »

Thanks - no dog as we work too long hours during the week! I'm more a cat person and OH more a dog person. We did serious research on getting a dog this time last year but it's just not practical for us both and would be completely unfair to the dog. (plus he wanted a pure bred beagle which I'm reliably informed is the WORST to leave on their own for any length of time as they'll chew your house to bits!!!)

I like the sound of helping out dog walking (or whatever) at an animal shelter - would they need a regular commitment do you think or happy for volunteers on a 'ad hoc' (but with notice) basis?

The Cats Protection League (and possibly other places) have volunteers who do "cat cuddling" which can be on an adhoc basis.

Also, have you thought of joining a book/reading group?

Sensible_Jess

Bluemeanie wrote: »

We have a group on there that ladies in a similar situation set up to make friends with other women only. No men wanting dates, etc.

That's a good idea - The last time I made a concious effort to 'go out more' I was newly single so I guess I wasn't so concious of all the flirting that goes on!!


KRLYR - can I PM you with my location? Don't feel comfortable giving it out on a public forum...:)

Pixiechic

Do you like any sports? You could maybe join a club or class if you do and lots to choose from.

I really like the suggestion of volunteering at a rescue centre and might look into it myself!

Sensible_Jess

Dunroamin wrote: »

The Cats Protection League (and possibly other places) have volunteers who do "cat cuddling" which can be on an adhoc basis.

Also, have you thought of joining a book/reading group?

Those are both great ideas, thank you. I scoured the net when I first came down as that's right up my street but there are no groups in my area! Our library might be a place to look again (you never know).
Do you know of any specific net sites links for book groups I could take a look at?