more csa woes

gingergee

Dont feel guilty!!! Just do it! No-one need ever know and this whole mess may just get sped (dont even think thats a word?? lol) up xx

his_wife

i am sat here as i type gingergee, suffering from panic attacks, yes i want the payments to stop, yes i want a better quality of life for all of our kids, and yes, i still feel incredibly guilty. If his daughter got half of the money he pays a month, i wouldnt inform the benefits, yet she gets nothing not a penny. Yet i still feel guilty:(

Think i need a kick up the backside, all i want is the qc to be happy,and as long as she is getting kicked out of her home, on a regular basis, she is never going to be happy is she.

his_wife

ps, i like the word sped , i am sure i have heard of it:D

gingergee

Think i was very lucky as a teen (as i was preggers, i wanted to leave) and had somewhere to go. I dont know how to sort this mess, if i could wave a wand i would xx

his_wife

i too had my own house at 18, a job, a child , and responsibilities. It isnt about wanting to shirk responsibilities in supporting the qc,,, its about not wanting to support the ex partner. The qc isnt benefiting one iota, she is on her way to mine as we type, so hopefully a chat will help in which she wants to do next. Not what her mum wants her to do, but, what she wants.

I wish i had a magic wand too, i am tired and depressed of it all.

Thank you for your time, and contributions, really appreciate them x

skibadee

We haven't rang CB office, do you think it would be a good idea to do so?

PreludeForTimeFeelers

shoe*diva79 wrote: »

I think its not the CSA to blame here - its the PWC who is defrauding the CB Office. If the QC really does not live at home, is not in college yet the PWC is still claiming CB for the QC then you need to inform the CB of the fraud so it can be looked into. The CSA can only go by what the CB Office tell them! Its clearly the PWC at fault here!

Yup, that's the point I was making on Saturday...

nicky3

Its not fraud until child has been away for 56 days in a 16 week period.

Blackpool_Saver

his_wife wrote: »

blackpool saver, firstly i apologise for not being grammatically correct:o and secondly , my husband isnt writing this as he doesnt have an account, so after talking to him, we agreed i would write what he says.

Whether, it is my child or my step child, if they are not living in the family home, why on earth should my husband pay to support his ex.The money he pays is for his daughters upbringing not for his ex partners bills. Hence, why i am having a gripe over it.

I will support all of our children, be it mine or his. We have none of our own, yet all children are seen as our own.

I feel your remark was rather uncalled for and extremely unhelpful, but each to their own and i hope you are never ever in my predicament.

No i cant wait for the payments to stop, that way, my husband, myself, his daughter, the qc and my children will all be better off. We will still support his child, but to her, and not to her mum.

I have been a stepmother to two sets of skids and am now a lone parent with a deadbeat who pays peanuts, sorry if I sounded harsh, it's just that my exes wife cannot wait to stop paying, she even messaged my son over the internet to see if he had finished college, neither she or his Dad have seen my son in 14 years !!!!
I am glad you and your husband see the child

his_wife

blackpool saver, thank you for your apology, and yes, you were a tad harsh.

I am on both sides of the csa, my ex pays a pittance, and thats only when he is backed into a corner, yet my husband pays a fortune, my kids are on a lose lose situation. However, i will always do my level best for all the kids.

My exes wife hates my children with a passion, she wont even have them in her house, nor, let my ex come to see them unacompanied. My eldest once went to see his dad on the train, at his dads request, was staying a few days, when his dad went to work the following day, she took my son to the train station and sent him home , said she didnt want strangers in her house:eek:, she has been with my ex ten yrs, hardly makes him a stranger.

So i do understand where your coming from, but, i would never ever, treat my step children any differently to my own