Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

burnoutbabe

you get used to each group of mates and if they are a share the bill type of mates, then you matc what they have (or order a fancy mocktail if they have a cocktail or a fancy coffee if they have desert and you don't fancy it)

else just say you will order seperately at the beggining.

You are asking for trouble only bringing £20 note out to a meal, gave you no room for any variations to the plan.

picnmix

Could I just ask, why were you and your OH paying seperately to each other, if myself and DH went out, we would just pay as a couple or 2 parts of the split bill.

BugglyB

picnmix wrote: »

Could I just ask, why were you and your OH paying seperately to each other, if myself and DH went out, we would just pay as a couple or 2 parts of the split bill.

Maybe they have seperate finances?

Peater

If i'm driving for example and someone suggests splitting it, i won't have any issue in piping up and saying, 'Look, i have had 1 soft drink and some tap water, i don't think i should subsidise your beers' which is usually met with grunts of acknowledgement.

However, in certain groups i find the best method is just to go 'all-out', have a starter, a huge steak and a dessert washed down with copius drinks. Otherwise, if you pick what you normally would, you will lose out by 'going Dutch'.

[Deleted User]

Who goes out with just cash these days? It's not much of a hindrance to take a debit card with you

BugglyB

Peater wrote: »

If i'm driving for example and someone suggests splitting it, i won't have any issue in piping up and saying, 'Look, i have had 1 soft drink and some tap water, i don't think i should subsidise your beers' which is usually met with grunts of acknowledgement.

However, in certain groups i find the best method is just to go 'all-out', have a starter, a huge steak and a dessert washed down with copius drinks. Otherwise, if you pick what you normally would, you will lose out by 'going Dutch'.

Ha! You are 'that guy'! :rotfl:

picnmix

BugglyB wrote: »

Maybe they have seperate finances?

We too have seperate finances to a degree, but it would never occur to us on a night our to pay our own share, if we go out as a couple then one of use would settle the bill. Maybe that isn't the norm, but I have never been on a night out in a group when a couple has paid seperatey at the venue. They may well split it when they get home of course, but I just found it unusual

Timmne

I'm always the person that says "let's split the bill" and it would really annoy me if someone got upset at that without saying anything.

If you're not planning on paying a share, declare this at the start of the meal so that the bill can be split from the word go.

(I do often declare that I'll pay the extra if I have something expensive by the way).

I also hate the part where I end up paying double what I should have when everyone's decided to itemise the bill because they never actually put in enough. Then there's the tip, which nobody ever seems to want to leave!

By the way: £16 meal plus a drink plus a tip doesn't come to £20 - this is the whole problem and reason I hate picking ones own items off the bill!

Kildare

Assuming all the meals cost the same (£16) if everyone else had a couple of glasses of wine / pints etc. then I would have no problem turning round and saying "do you mind if I just pay for my meal & drink as I didn't have alcohol" - I think anyone would accept that. In fact in the groups I go out with, no-one expects the non-drinker to pay in on the alcohol. I'd probably still split the food cost though, unless everyone else had had 3 courses and I only had one.

I would hope you know your friends & family well enough to be able to say this to them either before the meal or when payment is due and it wouldn't cause issues. The only times I've had issues is at work meals, but I always say at the outset now - "let's go for a pub lunch next Friday and everyone pays for themselves". Makes life a lot easier

krlyr

picnmix wrote: »

We too have seperate finances to a degree, but it would never occur to us on a night our to pay our own share, if we go out as a couple then one of use would settle the bill. Maybe that isn't the norm, but I have never been on a night out in a group when a couple has paid seperatey at the venue. They may well split it when they get home of course, but I just found it unusual

My brother and his girlfriend do it that way, down to the very penny. If one is short or only has a £20 note or whatever, then they loan to/borrow from each other and will pay each other back the exact amount. It's a bit unusual but seems to work for them, they are quite seperate in some aspects of their relationship (wash and iron their own clothes, do seperate food shopping, etc) but they've been together quite a while now so can't be causing too many problems!