Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

Trazy

Trazy wrote: »

I have been stung by splitting the bill in the past

About 10 of us went to an American style grill house, I had no starter or pud and chicken as main. I also had diet coke. My bill including tip was £15.

Two of the group had everything, starters, puds, cocktails and surf&turf for main. One of them jumped in quickly with the idea of splitting the bill, it ended up at £25 per head :mad::mad::mad:

Never again

I know its a bit unusual to quote yourself but I just want to point out that the people who had all the fancy food own 3 businesses, have flash cars and no mortgage. I on the other hand am disabled and live in a rented house on benefits.
i am not a tightwad, I just don't like being ripped off

FatVonD

GobbledyGook wrote: »

Surely the better option is to order the lobster then when the bill comes you say "The lobster is at least £20 dearer than all the other meals so split the bill minus £20 between everyone" and then you chuck in share + £20 and everyone is happy?

Absolutely (and the lobster was an extreme example) but in splitting the bill that doesn't happen.

I think it's fair to say that, if there are some who take being a tight @rse to extremes there are also, amongst those party people kicking back enjoying themselves, a small contingent who could be called ill-mannered spongers!

bride2be2012

9 times out of 10 when we're out with friends, we split the bill. To be fair, we do normally all have the same number of courses and have bottles of wine to share. When we go out with OHs family, they normally sit with their phones to figure out exactly who owes what - drives me mad, but can see their point as most of his siblings have kids so don't pay for full meals/no alcohol. We normally keen a mental note of what we've ordered and just round up to the nearest fiver and leave that on the table.

Last year was terrible though. His mums birthday is just before Christmas so we all went for a meal, his folks said they were paying for everyone. But we all (OH, his siblings and their OHs) decided we'd cover the bill - there's about twenty of us, £50 per couple covered it. His mum refused money of everyone else, as 'they have kids and it's Christmas', but still took OHs £50!! I was raging!! We might not have kids yet but we're probably the least well off out of them all!

Fredula

elvis86 wrote: »

But where it's the difference of a pudding or an extra drink, the value of which is as small as a fiver, it's tightfisted to argue over it. And if your budget is so tight that such a small amount of money will break the bank, you shouldn't be eating out. You should spend the £X you strictly budgeted for the meal on something more essential.

So people on budgets are supposed to stay indoors forever and live miserable lives just in case the people you go out with want to split the bill? I disagree. Everyone has to have some joys in life. I'll be honest, going out for meals isn't my idea of fun and I don't particularly have a good time whilst I'm doing it, but when it's family meals/birthdays/occasions you feel obliged.

Four_leaf_clover_2

Fredula wrote: »

Don't you just hate it when you go out for a meal, and you choose your food to what you can afford, what you've budgeted for, you maybe don't have a desert, or perhaps have a small desert, and you only order one or two soft drinks because they're cheaper than the alcohol...and then the bill comes at the end, and some wise !!!! says, "Shall we just split it?"....

Before Christmas, I went out for the MIL's birthday to an all you can eat chinese which costs £16 per person. FIL bought my first drink (coke), and I ordered a second, which was only a half. So, me being me, not liking handbags, etc and not liking my pockets weighed down, only took a £20 note. Perfect, or so I thought. That's the price of the meal, one drink plus a tip!! So the end came, and one of the relatives on our table piped up and said, "Shall we just split the bill?"... Everyone agreed with her!! What?! No! Well, needless to say I did not have the cash on me to pay for the bottles of wine and pints of larger they had all enjoyed, so OH had to pay my extra.

We have another family meal coming up. I don't know whether to just order what I want or stick to my budget again.

What do you do in these situations? Does it annoy you as much as it annoys me? Is there any way to get around it without everyone thinking you're a tight wad?

I hate situations like you describe above, after getting my fingers burnt by a group of friends a few years back. When I meet up with family and friends for meals now, I politely tell them I can only afford to cover the food and drink I order for myself, and that I am unable to split the bill with them. It avoids anyone making any assumptions and causing any ill feeling on either side. I then also tell the waiter/waitress when ordering that I require a seperate bill

candygirl

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want them ruining my night by coming out to dinner, ordering a tap water and a starter and looking miserable all night.

If they can only afford to eat out once a year, perhaps they should indulge alone so as not to put themselves through the distress of discovering that someone they're dining with has ordered an extra drink and suggested splitting the bill, thus screwing up their household budget for the next 3 months?:cool:

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Just spat my drink out LOL:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

FBaby

Timmne wrote: »

3)People who can afford to go but will have the minimum possible to avoid having to spend much and then have a problem with paying anything over the minimum

3), I try and avoid going out with.

I am gobsmacked by this answer. I can afford to go out and contribute blindly to the meal, that doesn't mean that it is ok to do it. Same thing when I do my shopping in Tesco, There are many things I could buy because it would be nice, but I am still on a budget and that is MY choice to do.

When I go out for a meal with friends, I personally don't really care about the meal, I care about getting together with my friends. I happen not to eat a lot, so rarely have a starter or dessert, and often have a meal without meat because I am not that keen on it. I don't care much for soft drink and hate the taste of alcohol, so as with all my meals at home I prefer a glass of water. My friends enjoy a few bottles of wine together. I wouldn't expect to pay separately if the difference comes to under 25%, but if I am to pay double what what my meal cost, so that others get to pay half, then yes, I think it is extremely rude on their part.

Thankfully, my friends are not selfish and I never had to ask for the bill to be divided, someone else always suggests it.

Carl31

i dont have this problem as i always assume we are to split

I want to enjoy my evening, not count pennies. To me, im paying for the food, drinks and company

Humphrey10

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want them ruining my night by coming out to dinner, ordering a tap water and a starter and looking miserable all night.

It's really really horrible to go out in a group for a nice meal, planning to have 3 courses and drinks, only for one person in the group to sit there staring at other people's food and drooling over it and looking sad while they eat bread and water.
And then everyone says 'let's just split the bill', everyone says 'yes let's!', and the hungry drooler says 'no, I am not happy on just making you all feel uncomfortable all night by sitting staring while you eat, I insist on making it worse by totally ruining your evening and want you to all remember exactly what you ate and how much it cost, to the penny'.

burnoutbabe

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Last year, on my hen night, I had a meal out at an italian restaurant and I'd checked the menu beforehand to make sure it was reasonably priced. There were 8 of us and 2 bottles of house wine were ordered (two non-drinkers). Everyone had two courses. My sister is a veggie and was one of the two non-drinkers. When the bill came out, my sister immediately said "I think we should split the bill 7 ways so the bride doesn't have to pay". I should note that I'd brought money with me. HOWEVER one of my bridesmaids (my oldest friend) piped up "but I didn't have anything to drink, so I should pay less." Granted, she didn't drink, but she DID pick the most expensive starter and main.

I ended up paying my share because it was obvious she begrudged it.

I hate when someone suddenly pipes up "lets pay for birthday person/hen etc". You can NOT say no. agree it beforehand amongst those affected if you want to do that.