Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

fluffymuffy

ringo_24601 wrote: »

i've found that women are more awkward when it comes to splitting the bill than men.

Blokes will generally eat about the same, drink about the same, then not get to fussed when the bill is split.

You mean the women complain even when splitting the bill means they pay less? Or is it that they tend to be the ones paying for more than they consumed?

PasturesNew

elvis86 wrote: »

...do the sums on every occasion I've split the bill, I honestly reckon I'd end up roughly breaking even. Sometimes I've had a side order where a couple of others haven't, perhaps an extra drink when I've been thirstier than others, but then on other occassions I've had no room for dessert but others have indulged, or I've turned down a hot drink where filter was the only choice, and stuck with my glass of wine whilst others had a coffee.:)

I don't have starters, or desserts, nor alcohol, nor coffee. When I eat out I have the main course and that's filling enough. I would always be the person who spent the least, every time.

I think, however, part of this problem might be that those with cash to splash around don't know what it's like to live a lifetime on the cheap, with two halfpennies to rub together about twice a year.

elvis86

PasturesNew wrote: »

Some might argue that going out 1-2x a year, to spend a limited amount on a meal out is an essential. You can't expect poor people to sit in, alone, in their bedsit 365 days of the year, surely?

I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want them ruining my night by coming out to dinner, ordering a tap water and a starter and looking miserable all night.

If they can only afford to eat out once a year, perhaps they should indulge alone so as not to put themselves through the distress of discovering that someone they're dining with has ordered an extra drink and suggested splitting the bill, thus screwing up their household budget for the next 3 months?:cool:

krlyr

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want them ruining my night by coming out to dinner, ordering a tap water and a starter and looking miserable all night.

If they can only afford to eat out once a year, perhaps they should indulge alone so as not to put themselves through the distress of discovering that someone they're dining with has ordered an extra drink and suggested splitting the bill, thus screwing up their household budget for the next 3 months?:cool:

If it's all about the company (as several people have said in this thread), what does it matter if they have a tap water and a starter? I thought the whole point was that it was nice to have an evening out with family/friends. Enjoying a night out and not spending much don't have to be two totally seperate things.
I am happy to know that my family don't think "Oh, they don't have much to spend and had to turn us down last time because money was tight, let's not bother inviting them because they're going to be miserable gits all evening". Tight budget doesn't equal bad company.

[Deleted User]

fluffymuffy wrote: »

You mean the women complain even when splitting the bill means they pay less? Or is it that they tend to be the ones paying for more than they consumed?

I mean they are more likely to 'not follow the herd' and skip a desert when everyone else is having one/get a glass of tap water when others are drinking wine, then complain about splitting.. It drives my wife crazy when her friends eat out as there is one 'persistent offender',

I think men are more use to buying rounds, so can accept that sometimes you spend a little bit more when sharing bills. Also, there's a hefty dose of male ego

busybee100

I would think the default position on entering the resturant is that each pays their own, which is why it takes someone to suggest splitting the bill (at the end of the meal). Why don't they suggest it at the beginning if they are that generous not to care if people eat/drink more than they do?

sunshinetours

ringo_24601 wrote: »

I mean they are more likely to 'not follow the herd' and skip a desert when everyone else is having one/get a glass of tap water when others are drinking wine, then complain about splitting.. It drives my wife crazy when her friends eat out as there is one 'persistent offender',

I think men are more use to buying rounds, so can accept that sometimes you spend a little bit more when sharing bills. Also, there's a hefty dose of male ego

Completely agree. having seen and heard about the carnage at bill times on hen nights, girls nights out etc I tend to sit back now and let others take the lead with it when women are involved in meal time payments!!

arbroath_lass

Fredula wrote: »

What do you do in these situations? Does it annoy you as much as it annoys me? Is there any way to get around it without everyone thinking you're a tight wad?

"Well, I've just had one coke so I'll just stick £20 in."

No-one will disagree, honestly. And no-one will think you're tight either.

You'll probably find others will do the same, once someone else is brave enough to say it first.

Nicki

busybee100 wrote: »

I would think the default position on entering the resturant is that each pays their own, which is why it takes someone to suggest splitting the bill (at the end of the meal). Why don't they suggest it at the beginning if they are that generous not to care if people eat/drink more than they do?

That might be your default position, but I don't think I have ever been out for a meal where it has been suggested that each person pays for their own meal. Usually it isn't discussed at all, the bill comes and either person or each couple puts in their split of the bill, or in a smaller group who socialise together often, one couple will pay the whole bill, with the expectation that the next time we go out the other couple will do so.

I wouldn't particularly mind if I was out with family or friends and someone asked whether we could split the bill according to what they have had, but in a slightly larger group I'm afraid I probably wouldn't notice if one person had a cheaper main than another or if one person had one glass of wine from the bottle and another had three, so it wouldn't really occur to me to suggest off my own bat that that person should pay less. If I was in a small group though, I'd tailor my order to fit in with what everyone else was doing - I wouldn't be the only person at the table having a starter or dessert, or the only one to have a glass of wine, so I don't think a madly disproportionate bill would arise.

PasturesNew

elvis86 wrote: »

I don't know, but I sure as hell don't want them ruining my night by coming out to dinner, ordering a tap water and a starter and looking miserable all night.

If they can only afford to eat out once a year, perhaps they should indulge alone so as not to put themselves through the distress of discovering that someone they're dining with has ordered an extra drink and suggested splitting the bill, thus screwing up their household budget for the next 3 months?:cool:

Why would they be looking miserable? Going out at all might be the highlight of their year! (It would be mine).

Eating alone's horrible - and I've been turned away from many empty restaurants in the past for asking for a "table for one".