Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

PasturesNew

GobbledyGook wrote: »

I always find places are fine with it if you ask.

Also places like TGI's where the staff use handheld PDA style order pads can do it even easier.

I've no idea about places like that. Never been in one, there's not one within 200 miles of me.

I've only ever eaten at local/cheap indian restaurants and a couple of dodgy mexican ones. Else it's local pub carveries.

I've certainly never seen anybody with a PDA... ever.

clearing_out_my_pockets

Last year, on my hen night, I had a meal out at an italian restaurant and I'd checked the menu beforehand to make sure it was reasonably priced. There were 8 of us and 2 bottles of house wine were ordered (two non-drinkers). Everyone had two courses. My sister is a veggie and was one of the two non-drinkers. When the bill came out, my sister immediately said "I think we should split the bill 7 ways so the bride doesn't have to pay". I should note that I'd brought money with me. HOWEVER one of my bridesmaids (my oldest friend) piped up "but I didn't have anything to drink, so I should pay less." Granted, she didn't drink, but she DID pick the most expensive starter and main.

I ended up paying my share because it was obvious she begrudged it.

SandC

irrationalactor wrote: »

If you're going to a nice restaurant, which doesn't happen very often, and you would like to treat yourself to lobster, then why shouldn't you?

Have people really been in situations where the bill comes, the suggestion to split is made, you object and say 'how about I just pay for what I had - you did have the lobster after all!', and the rest of the table...

What? Forces you to hand over your 'share'? I really hope you guys have better friends than that.

Without shadow of a doubt if I'd had lobster and nobody else had anything of similar monetary value when it came to the bill and someone said split I would insist that I put extra money in to cover my extravagant choice.

Works both ways in my book.

irrationalactor

SandC wrote: »

Without shadow of a doubt if I'd had lobster and nobody else had anything of similar monetary value when it came to the bill and someone said split I would insist that I put extra money in to cover my extravagant choice.

Works both ways in my book.

Very good point! :T I've never had lobster in my life so people mentioning that it could cost +£20 was a bit of a shock to be honest!

krlyr

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Last year, on my hen night, I had a meal out at an italian restaurant and I'd checked the menu beforehand to make sure it was reasonably priced. There were 8 of us and 2 bottles of house wine were ordered (two non-drinkers). Everyone had two courses. My sister is a veggie and was one of the two non-drinkers. When the bill came out, my sister immediately said "I think we should split the bill 7 ways so the bride doesn't have to pay". I should note that I'd brought money with me. HOWEVER one of my bridesmaids (my oldest friend) piped up "but I didn't have anything to drink, so I should pay less." Granted, she didn't drink, but she DID pick the most expensive starter and main.

I ended up paying my share because it was obvious she begrudged it.

And this is where communication could make a huge difference. I've done it before where we've clubbed in to cover the birthday person's meal but it's been arranged before we've even ordered anything. It's too late once everything's ordered and eaten to say "OK, you may have spent £20 but I want an extra £y from you now".
As this thread shows, everyone has different opinions on what's fair - splitting the bill, paying less if you don't drink, etc. so why not discuss it all first. If 5 people are happy to split the bill and 2 people aren't, then have them pay their own way and split the remainder. People seem to find there's a big stigma around discussing money but it would solve a lot of problems if it was just calmly discussed before anyone even made any commitment to any particular food on the menu - then they can guage whether they want to order starters and puddings, alcohol, etc. dependant on their budget and how the bill is being paid. Or even at the time of invitation so they could decide whether to go or not!

BLUEBIE

PasturesNew wrote: »

What?? Then you'd have to pay your way! OH NOES... that's not what you want really is it! You need a constant stream of people you can call tightwads.... so you can finish every meal with a free brandy.

Seriously, if I was going out for a meal with someone, I would like them well enough to buy them a free brandy anyway.

19lottie82

LittleMissAspie wrote: »

I have never in my life ordered or bought "what I fancy". I ALWAYS consider the price and usually buy the cheapest on purpose.

You sound great fun.

archie9uk

irrationalactor wrote: »

Have people really been in situations where the bill comes, the suggestion to split is made, you object and say 'how about I just pay for what I had - you did have the lobster after all!', and the rest of the table...

What? Forces you to hand over your 'share'? I really hope you guys have better friends than that.

It kind of depends who you are out with. We once went out for a meal with my brother-in-law and a load of his mates (for his birthday). We went for the cheap option because we were pretty hard up at the time. They all had starters and several drinks each, then suggested we split the bill. We only knew two out of about 12 people there and, as we are both quite shy people, we didn't feel comfortable saying we did not agree. We ended up paying about double. My friends would never behave that way, but these people were not my friends.

tinktinktinkerbell

i have to admit i dont like splitting the bill (although i do grudgingly)

me and my OH dont drink and i dont see why we should pay for people to have wine, beers etc

PasturesNew

BLUEBIE wrote: »

Seriously, if I was going out for a meal with someone, I would like them well enough to buy them a free brandy anyway.

So you never eat with people who are almost strangers? Most of my times out are with strangers. People from work, random people where you know one person and somebody said "let's go for a meal..." and the others you'd just met/bumped into for the first time?

I've no regular set of friends I eat out with. Every meal has been a "one off" with different and random people - and people who brought their other halves etc etc.

Many of the people I end up with I probably don't even like; I just started out going to meet 1-2 people and it ended up as a group.

Even at work, it's been 2-3 of us saying "indian Friday?" - then once the answer's "yes" a shout goes out to all and sundry "anybody else coming?" ... or I might be one of those "all and sundry" who happened to be standing next to a workmate who said "yes" and then said "you'll come too won't you".