Going Out for a Meal - The Awkward Moment When Someone Says...

LandyAndy

SandC wrote: »

But Landy if you genuinely fancied a main course of pasta at £9 and others had steak at £18 would you really be happy to split, or would you decide to order something of a similar value? Certainly italian restaurants are a good example of places with menus having wildly different prices for different things. A chinese menu on the other hand wouldn't fluctuate that much.

I said what I said:).

I think of it this way. I look at the place we are going and the company I'll be going with and think 'Is that worth £50 a head (or whatever)'. If I think it is I'll be happy to split the bill whether my 'actual' share is £35 or £65. A night out with friends isn't all about what the food cost.:)

elvis86

PasturesNew wrote: »

People who say "split the bill" are usually overweight and greedy - and simply want to bully those that they expect to subsidise their greed.

Absolute rubbish.

PasturesNew wrote: »

They do this by making out YOU are the tight one - when it's them. THEY are the tight ones for trying to avoid paying their way. We all make choices ... they CHOSE to have the extra large pie, the huge dessert and enough alcohol to calm down their alcoholic shakes.... it's ferkin rude and bullying of them to try to get everybody else to stump up and pay their way every time.

But that's not the scenario the OP referred to. It was an all-you-can-eat buffet (where everyone was stuffing their faces).

PasturesNew wrote: »

£20 for a £16 meal and one drink = more than fair in my mind.

We need a phrase to show these people up - because they stop people with less money being able to go out and enjoy a meal out for fear of getting caught every time.

I think we just need tightwads like you to stop coming out and spoiling everyone else's fun.;)

PasturesNew

Birdy12 wrote: »

The word 'bitter' springs to mind.

Why haven't you ever thought to say at the beginning of each meal that you'll be paying for what you've had only instead of harbouring an incredible amount of bitterness over those 'split the bill' meals and unleashing it on this thread. Really, you need to re-read what you've written.

I find the use of the word bitter very ... well, bitter.

It wouldn't occur to me at the start of a meal that somebody'd try to stitch me up at the end, when they hoped I was as drunk as they intend to be.

They spring it on you at the end!

As a rule though, I don't go out with people. Stopped getting caught like that some years back. Couldn't afford to split the bill; got fed up being called tight. Stopped going.

Little_Leita

I'm with the OP too. I don't think she is a tightwad or a cheapskate, I'm just assuming she is on a very tight budget but still wants to join in celebrations.

These are hard times and many are feeling the pinch. It's all very well saying 'well don't go out then', but sometimes you actually really WANT or HAVE to go..... you just have to be realistic about what you (and others) can and can't afford.

I point blank refuse to subsidise the guy next to me having 3 courses, 4 double vodkas and 3 beers while I just have a main and one beer, as happened at my last restaurant encounter recently. The point is, my friend whose birthday it was and her circle are all in couples and also quite well off (I used to be her secretary so that should give you an idea of difference in income), but I think the world of her and I just wanted to be there to celebrate. When someone suggested splitting the bill I just made a joke of it and said "Hey, I'm a poor single parent secretary and you're all loaded - I'm just paying for the bread and water I had!" - they all just laughed and said "fair enough!".

Look at it another way: If you went to the supermarket with your friend to pick up a few bits and pieces while she does her weekly shop, and at the checkout she chucks the lot on the conveyor belt and says "shall we just split the bill?" what would you say?

glitter03

PasturesNew wrote: »

I've even ended up with a £25 "split the bill" night when I only went out with £5 and only bought a £4 starter.

You only went out with a £5? I think that is taking budget to the extreme :rotfl:

PasturesNew

elvis86 wrote: »

Absolute rubbish.

I think we just need tightwads like you to stop coming out and spoiling everyone else's fun.;)

What?? Then you'd have to pay your way! OH NOES... that's not what you want really is it! You need a constant stream of people you can call tightwads.... so you can finish every meal with a free brandy.

FatVonD

PasturesNew wrote: »

People who say "split the bill" are usually overweight and greedy - and simply want to bully those that they expect to subsidise their greed.

They do this by making out YOU are the tight one - when it's them. THEY are the tight ones for trying to avoid paying their way. We all make choices ... they CHOSE to have the extra large pie, the huge dessert and enough alcohol to calm down their alcoholic shakes.... it's ferkin rude and bullying of them to try to get everybody else to stump up and pay their way every time.

£20 for a £16 meal and one drink = more than fair in my mind.

We need a phrase to show these people up - because they stop people with less money being able to go out and enjoy a meal out for fear of getting caught every time.

Lol! That reminds me of a friend's ex boyfriend that would go for a curry with the landlords of the pub he DJed in every Sunday night and vastly over order (on their shared bill) then ask for the rest to be packaged up for him to take home for the following day!

I joined them once, never again!

GobbledyGook

Most restaurants with decent POS till systems can easily split a tables bill. It doesn't have to resort to get the calculator out at the end of the meal.

I used to be all for splitting the bill between the whole table, but recently I've taken to paying my own. Mainly because in our group of friends there is one who is completely oblivious to the fact that she ALWAYS has the most expensive meal and drinks the most expensive drink and it irks me that she's never once thought to say "mine is much dearer than everyone else's so I'll chuck in an extra £10/£20" or whatever. It's one of a few things that annoy me about her, but this is my current big bugbear. Sadly I lost most of my so-called friends when I split up with my husband and the rest of the group are fab so I can't really afford to cause a row with her (and she'd take the huff big time as she's a huffy moo).

PasturesNew

glitter03 wrote: »

You only went out with a £5? I think that is taking budget to the extreme :rotfl:

I was desperately poor, unemployed ... and it was a hen night at a pizza place. I was bridesmaid - and had already been "caught" unexpectedly, not knowing that I had to pay for the dress hire of £40.... £5 was all I could put together. I was living in a caravan and my transport was a moped. Desperate days.

Timmne

PasturesNew wrote: »

Well, that would be in a world where one could afford to eat and drink away and have a great time. For a lot of us we can afford to eat out if we're careful and don't overspend.

So, you're giving us a choice:
- go and be called a tightwad
- don't go and be called a miserable old bugg4h
- go and get into debt

Why are people so unreasonable about this? Why do I have to spend as much as you, to prove to you that I am worthy of being your friend? I guess you dropped your poorer friends over the years (calling them tightwads). Well, they probably feel better now they're not subsidising the lifestyle you wish you could really afford.

If you put my post back into context (which was disagreeing that this site is purely to spend less), you'll realise that you wasted your time typing yours.