Buffy starts a new chapter...........

sammy115

you need to go to relaxation classes Buffy...they have helped me enormously, as have going to a time management class. Can I suggest that you ditch the list. It is this perpetual list that makes you feel guilty.

Or look at your list and prioritise whats on it to level of importance and do the most important tomorrow.

*goes back to look at list*

sammy115

there is a lot of repitition on your list.

break it down into rooms...

Garden
Bedroom
Conservatory

etc....then have jobs within the rooms. then do the most important ones first. Then do them.....in order of importance..

Kepp

Hi Buffy Not a wuss at all, incredibly brave to do that by yourself. Well done. At least now it is done and one less thing to worry about. Get yourself [STRIKE]some[/STRIKE] lots of chocolate

What is it that you're getting done to your teeth if you don't mind me asking?

The problem with the list is that not getting the things on it done make you feel guilty (I am the same) but I suspect throwing the list away wouldn't help cause the list would still be in your head if you know what you mean.

I think the problem is the list is too general and too overwhelming, so you never tackle it.

Break it down. Take one thing that is the most important - say decluttering your room and tackle that and only that. Make a new more detailed list, with one thing to do a day. Say put 10 items in a bag for charity, list one thing on eBay, clear just one surface. Then do that one thing and only that one thing. It sounds daft as the things are so small but over time it will add up to having done so much more than feeling overwhelmed and ignoring it all.

Sorry if that sounds patronising, I don't mean it too - but I've only just read about tackling things in this way and it had honestly never occurred to me!

Pooky

Well done for getting your nose sorted!! Brave lady! Very proud of you.

Sod the list for now - why bother putting a fish pond in if you're moving out? Concentrate on getting yourself healed before anything else.

beanielou

Baby steps Buffy.
15 minutes at a task really works well for me.
I do it with housework,ironing, cleaning, gardening and it all adds up & even if I only manage one 15 min a day at one thing its better than nothing.

NewLeaf_2

you are a super brave chick. when do you get the results

Buffythedebtslayer

Not feeling brave at all.

Am not actually. I am tired, tired tired tired.

and depressed I think. 3 day headache, bill from the private hospital - 180 quid and then a bill from the consultant = £300+

just for the first bit and biopsy.

still not got the results. so although everyone says its fine it's a BCC there is part of me running round in my head going what if it isn't??? And I know it is unlikely but hey I want the piece of !!!!ing paper.

Also the whole dating thing is depressing the hell out of me.


but that is for my blog not here besides if one more !!!!ing person mentions anything to do with fish and seas I will lamp them!

Money wise...........well I have manged to pay my bills and not get into trouble for six months - my loose intrepretation of my goal to keep to a budget for six months.

To be really honest I am proud that I have stayed out of debt for a year, lowered my phone bill, paid my CC off (except once with a thought it had been paid but it hadn't direct debit thing) each month and don't have any scary bills outstanding, budgetted for birthdays car pets and union fees.

From this point onwards it should be easier to keep going and saving/paying off debts if I go for the hospital treatment.

Life wise, too much has happened lately just situations with friends and horrible sad stories people don't deserve these things.

yeah so lots to think about. And lots to do.

headache is killing me.

night all xx

Buffythedebtslayer

Well it is the end of a very disappointing depressing Summer.
Between the skin cancer, my Mum, the puppies and what I am thinking is now undiagnosed depression I have done nothing I wanted to do. It started off really well but post Olympics I am definitely in the done nothing usedful category.

I haven't been able to have the op and Mum and I are at boiling point on a daily basis over either puppies or something they have done. I have been fairly constantly ill as well, upset stomach and headaches = stress? when on holidays? !!!!!! it is worse than being at work.

It is the problem with my sister's visits and the point particularly emphasized today that Mum seems to think she isn't ill and didn't have chest pains on the two occasions she has been rushed to hospital by ambulance. I do understand that being ill is frightening but it shows how hard it is to deal with getting health insurance or going to the doctors or even for me and my sisters to get an idea of what is wrong.

I have also noticed that as it is time for her to go on holiday the house needs a good clean. I do it each year when she goes on holiday and I have realised that obviously as she gets older she sees less and things like the kitchen are disgusting - which of course I should clean but the minute I get out there she hovers worried that it is some kind of criticism. It is all so stressful.

also the dating has been a night mare. Am currently seeing a lovely Swedish guy, kind funny, very into me but has already made it clear that long term he wants kids and wants to go back to Sweden, I don't. I have thought about living abroad and only ever wanted to go to America or Australia, Sweden doesn't appeal - and people will disagree with my seemingly snap decision but my instincts tell me no, I don't want to leave here to live somewhere else were I have no connections and no say - no understanding of the systems or language. Plus he is kind of intense.

gut says no. So I did feel bad accepting another date.

so yeah tis !!!!. at the moment nothing is really working out. not even moneywise got the bill from the hospital. SO costly.

So I am leaving this diary, comtemplating a new one, with new goals some St John's Wort and some kind of workable plan.

It is so clear that I ahve to leave but feels so !!!!!! as it is getting to the point where she needs something like help - not full time care or anything but she is also depressed and so negative. THe puppies as much as I love them were a mistake. We don't have the same methods and they are confused, one in particular is showing signs of being very anxious.

I think there are things I need to do for my own peace of mind for the house and garden. And I need to be more proactive.

SO going to have a think.

Take care folksxxx

Gemmzie

New month, new school year, wallow with chocolate/wine/<insert choice item here> and then draw a line tonight and start again tomorrow

Big hugs x

Different_Corner

Buffy:)
Saw you had popped in to my very neglected diary. TY. I logged on here to motivate myself - again - and to find the link to the Day Zero 1001 site. And here you are blogging about it.

As usual I too am racked with guilt and procrastination, again with lists of lists involving fish tanks, decluttering and such like, after having read yet another self help book that said I should make a list for this and for this, make affirmations while cleaning my teeth, subject myself to my own subliminal messaging system....and it goes on.

Do you know what ? Sammy's right. Lists just create more pressure. I dont have time to write lists of that detail. So sod it all ! one list, keyword, no more than 3 or 4 things.

You are brave doing the hospital thing alone, don't call yourself a wuss, you are awesome.

Off to find your email addy