Giving up Money for Lent

CAFCGirl

Oh dear oh dear!!!!

Hello to everyone!
Have now officially moved and all was well, until BT rained on my parade!
Have no broadband access at all so haven't been here as much as I would have liked! And still don't. i'm borrowing the BF's at his uni!

I also confess to a slight disappointment in some interpretations of whats essential and whats not. Life can go on without many things. I was hoping people would use this challenge to truly explore other methods, and ways in which to either get the same for nothing or to accept that what we think we need, we really dont.

I'll even confess to being slightly hurt by the hair conditioner comment a few pages back, diffculty with the internet is reading people's tones, something i'm not very good at normally anyway. I feel I kidan got painted to being some kind of school marm!!!!!

Congratulations to those however who have truly managed to avoid all unnecessary spending, those who have given themselves a few too many loopholes................. cmon you know who you are! I'm sure you all had good reasons and it's now up to you how cope with the rest of the challenge.

If you choose to give up on it, I completely understand. It has been difficult for all of us, especially when emotional stresses come into it! I'll confess to having had some very tough days when I was just going to give up.

I sat in my new flat and basically had a little cry over the situation, how my friend has basically left me in the lurch which has inadvertently increased my outgoings considerably and just about life in general. I could so easily have reached for my purse and headed into town..... I needed a lift, didnt have net access for any kind of support, and felt very alone.......

I had to be very honest with myself, and accept that I'm in this position because of me, and I'm the only person thats going to be able to get myself out of it.

And thats why I decided to challenge myself with giving up money for lent. I've got too many holes which it just seems to fall through and I needed to get that under control. It wasn't about giving up chocolate spending, or magazine spending, but really being truly hard on myself and realising that what I think I need I actually dont.

I also realised during my mini episode that there are some many other people in this world who survive with so little else. I'm not getting into a deep and meaningful here lol, far from it, but it put things into perspective for me.
I NEED very little to get by....
I NEED to appreciate the free things in life....
I NEED to accept that I am in control here noone else.

See what a few days away from the internet does to a person!
So what I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that there is no point in challenging yourself if we give ourselves so many ways out, and wipe so many things clean. I'm not saying we should feel guilty over what we do, but if we make a mistake we should learn from it, as opposed to using it as an excuse to continuing on the same path......

Good Luck to those who continue with their own personal challenges, and to those who have come very far and done so very very well!!

Thanks for joining in peeps. I hope I didnt come across as preaching, that wasnt my intention and it's all just my opinion, which everyone is entitled to disagree with. I'm not trying to tread on toes or anything but more just keep us all on the straight and narrow, myself included!!!

Hope to be back again soon
Good Luck

Seaxwyn

Hello CAFCgirl, it's good to see you back. I hope you're happy and comfortable in your new home.

Thanks for your thoughtful post, which I've been pondering on as I ate my toast this morning.

As far and away the worst challengee, I can't help feeling a lot of your disappointment is directed at me. And I admit I'm amazed how badly I've done.

When you first posted the challenge I thought "oh, this will be easy for me". I never buy chocolate or magazines, I've bought two cds in my whole life, I don't have any hobbies and I hate shopping. (This sounds odd given yesterday's splash-out, but the last time I bought shoes was over a year ago when I had to go abroad for work and needed something for the climate.)

So I smugly thought I'd sail through the challenge - but look at what I've bought... legwax, theatre tickets, haircut, shoes.... I've spent £99.80 in the two weeks or so of Lent!

So perhaps I should resign from the challenge in shame. But I don't want to. I want to stay in because it has stopped me spending on coffees and cards. I want to stay in because I'm enjoying the fellow feeling and seeing how everyone else is doing.

And also because while the things I've bought have been very far from 'necessities', they have felt important to me. As a freelancer meeting clients, I feel better if I have an OK haircut and shoes. I wanted to take my mum to see a show she wanted to see. To be honest, the one thing I really regret buying is the flapjack.

So if you'll let me, I'm staying in. But i appreciate it weakens the challenge if people interpret it differently, so I'll accept your ruling.

Finally, I apologise if it was me who offended you re the conditioner. I don't think it's a necessity as I don't use it myself (apart from getting headlice out of children's hair - which IS a necessity!) That's the kind of thing I used to feel smug about - but I dont now, I feel humble.

So thanks for teaching me an important lesson. And sorry for this long and self-justifying post!

Not planning to spend today as I'm not going out - nor over the weekend.

Seaxwyn

CAFCGirl

Oh dear I do feel bad now!

Sea' hun, it wasn't about booting anyone off, far from it. It was moreabout redressing the balance. I noticed a lot of new people joining in with comments like I'm going to stop spending money on morning coffees. Which yes I agree is a challenge, but isn't really what I was trying to achieve here.

I hate for you to leave the challenge, but I'm glad you had a little think about it. It's not because you may have "failed", it's nnow about recognising that some of those among us may haved slipped up, found excuses for ourselves and done what we would have done pre challenge.

Now whats important is that you recognise that you have slipped, not failed as I dont believe in that word anymore, and become renewed with a purpose that you will achieve .

Thats not just to you either. its to everyone. Even those that may feel they haven't slipped up. It takes more soul searching than I think any of us realised, me included.

What I'm trying to say in a roundabout way is that it is time to truly start kicking a$$ with this challenge!!!!

So much so that I'm trying to decide what to make my mum for mothers day

Not sure when I'll be back as I'm off back home and dunno if my broadband has been fixed there. Hopefully but if not I'll try and log on from work on sunday.

Sorry if I offended anyone, especially you Seaxwyn, it really wasnt my intention. Happy no spending people!!!

the_optimist

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Oh dear I do feel bad now!

I noticed a lot of new people joining in with comments like I'm going to stop spending money on morning coffees. Which yes I agree is a challenge, but isn't really what I was trying to achieve here.

I don't think any of you need to feel bad. :A
Everybody needs to decide for themselves what is non-essential stuff. Stop spending money on morning coffees would be completely useless for me but for others this might be a huge challenge. Some people spend money on items which I would find completely non-essential but they need the items for work, whereas I spend money on things which others see as non-essential.

I belong to a club and when we meet once a week I cannot not pay during Lent, nor can I expect others to pay for drinks for me. Although it's not essential, it would be very unfair to the other members of the club and postponing payments til after Easter is equally stupid (but I can and do spend as little as possible).
My personal challenge happens when I go shopping. I frequently come home with magazines or stuff I bought in the charity shops plus, of course crisps and chocolates, and I find it very hard to stick to my challenge.

It's good to read when people 'tell each other off' (in the nicest possible way) as it might help us think whether we really need this or that, but in the end everybody needs to decide for themselves.

I think everybody is doing extremely well...and roll on Easter :EasterBun

Sermon over

poohbear59

Well, last time I wrote I was having a day out in the city. I cancelled that and today met my aunt and daughter for lunch. I had to pay for my son and me and we chose lunch and drink that came to £5.05 all together. So although not a NSD, I feel I have done well as this is first day I have spent since last Friday and again it was a necessity.It is a bit cold to expect a 76 year old to sit with sandwiches in the park (which we have done in the past!). Well done everyone else!

Death_to_my_debt!

wow! I have missed a lot over the last week... just trying to catch up!

Well i have learnt that i dont have to spend money to keep everyone happy, as this week because i bought no biscuits for the office... everyone else bought some in... so now there is loads, probably enough to last the rest of this challenge!

Today i bought some cards for my friends who are being made redundant... spent less than a pound each but they are still very nice cards! These aren't essential items but they will go a long way to cheering them up so i figure it was worth the £2.

Im off to my other job tonight and working all weekend so i know they will be nsd's, the lunchboxes have been a challenge to get used to... but they are doing the trick.

Oooh and my party on Monday night... i spent nothing on drinks as i drank tap water, i used my tip money to buy my meal which i only cost £6 and i shared my mates starter, so that went really well. I have walked to work twice this week so fingers crossed if i do the same next week the petrol i bought to last a week will have lasted two! Well thats the aim!

Im going to a smoking cessation session on the 12th, where they prescribe patches so i shall not have to buy those any more... fingers crossed it will give me a boost too on the stop smoking thing anyway.

Oh i did spend £10 yesterday on ordering Martins books, shoped around and got free delivery, but this is to aide my stop smoking for lent. Had a big fight with Orange too yesterday as they tried to charge me for something which i wasn't aware of on my mobile phone bill:mad: , so i got my £6 back and an apology:T ! Tuesday and Wednesday were NSD's too so this week has been great.

I also think the optimist is right, the last few posts are just what we have needed to focus us all again. And CAFCGirl you should feel bad, you have inspired so many people... and we all hope the broadband gets sorted!

Hopefully catch up with you all on Monday!

Purpleroses

Hey gang!
This challenge is getting tougher for me but your post today CAFCGirl made me re-think and realise what i consider as a "need" is more of a want and if am gonna be financially stable in the future i need to take charge! ok rant over sorry.
Wasnt actually bothered about buying any "junk" today just some milk and bread and managed to get my parents 40th anniversary present for less than i originally budgeted for.
Oh CAFCGirl i was looking up mums 1001 home remedies and for conditioner use Avocado preferable with wheatgerm oil and jojoba oil cover just washed hair for about half an hour, put a shower cap or bag over your hair while you wait or try mayonnaise ~ could be interesting! C x

Seaxwyn

CAFCgirl, don't feel bad on my account - I wasn't at all offended! I'm grateful to you for starting this challenge, and grateful for your post today. I've succeeded in spending nothing today.

Tomorrow I'm going to visit my 84 year old aunt and thought about getting her a present, or taking her out to lunch, but decided against it. I'm taking her a copy of an old family photograph she wanted but most of all she will be pleased to see me and the children.

Good luck to all fellow challengers - Saturday is a hard day since it seems so geared around spending!

CAFCGirl

I also think the optimist is right, the last few posts are just what we have needed to focus us all again. And CAFCGirl you should feel bad, you have inspired so many people... and we all hope the broadband gets sorted!

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh I didnt know we were frowning on that kind of thing these days

Pleased to report BT man has been in the little box down the road and apparently fixed my broadband. I had a little nap this afternoon and woke up and the light was on!!!! Divine or what?!

I did watch it for 45 seconds to make sure it didnt start flashing and then straight onto MSE!!!

CAFCGirl

Just wanted to add, now that I'm back and full of vengence..............

(only joking!!)


a total no spender for me and I've got some banana muffins in the oven which are making my flat smell unbelievably gorgeous!!!