I hate my health visitor - rant

savingmummy

you dpon`t have to see a H/V!
My son saw a H/V 3 times following his birth then never again, there was no need to see her.
If he was unwell i just used the gp surgery.

It isn`t compulsary to see a h/v and iy isn`t set in stone you should do so!

donteatthat

I've recently done my levels 1,2 and 3 safeguarding for child protection and can say the number of HV's and their roles (read ability to interfere) will be expanded in light of the increasing - yes that is increasing - levels of child abuse in the UK. Unbelievable, but sadly there you go.
No you don't have to see them, but I suspect if you did refuse outright it may provide a red flag on the system but that is all.
My LO is still being seen fortnightly for weighing at 14 weeks old but he was 12 weeks prem like my last one so it's not that outrageous to be seen at that age. Both my HVs have been fine, just the nursery nurse who sometimes comes instead is a bit ditzy and gets her dates and times muddled up!

balletshoes

eyelinerprincess wrote: »

Just had a thought....

If we're not in when she comes tomorrow (since she didn't come yesterday), which is likely as taking DH to see the nursery we're enrolling DS in once a week, then he'll have to go to the clinic. On that day I'm working and DH is doing a half-day he owed his work, so MIL will need to take him...And as much as MIL does my head in at times, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of her scorn...

*fiendish laugh*

you don't have to go to the clinic at all. I started back at work 5 days a week when my DD was 5 months old, she's only seen a HV maybe twice or 3 times since through school with the rest of her class (to be honest she only saw a HV at the clinic until she was about 6 weeks old, because I was still attempting to walk my baby butt off and it was a good stretch of the legs from my house to the clinic once a week with the pram).

dibuzz

The only problem I had was when my daughter had her 6 month check. The HV kept going on about her being at the top of the chart and I should cut her food down. She wasn't on solids at all and entirley breast fed so the next suggestion was to water her milk down, how? drink a gallon of water before every feed?
I was worried about her sounding wheezy but the HV was only bothered about her weight.
A few days later we had to rush her to hospital as her lips were blue, she lost so much weight that the docs said she wouldn't have survived if she hadn't been a chubby baby.
Oh and my son still hasn't had his 18 month check, every time I asked they said they would send for him but never did, I won't hold my breath as he's 21 now :rotfl:

mrcow

donteatthat wrote: »

but I suspect if you did refuse outright it may provide a red flag on the system but that is all.

What "system"?

There is no system that a HV is going to log onto and produce some sort of "red flag" that is somehow going to alert a central system. Then you get three flags and you get a social worker knocking on your door!

This is scaremongering.

Telling someone that you don't appreciate their interfering isn't going to "red flag" anyone. If anyone in a care capacity has a genuine (and I mean genuine) reason to suspect that a child is at risk, then, and only then will they escalate an incident.

Otherwise, it's all hot air.

mrcow

eyelinerprincess wrote: »

Just had a thought....

If we're not in when she comes tomorrow (since she didn't come yesterday), which is likely as taking DH to see the nursery we're enrolling DS in once a week, then he'll have to go to the clinic. On that day I'm working and DH is doing a half-day he owed his work, so MIL will need to take him...And as much as MIL does my head in at times, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of her scorn...

*fiendish laugh*

Why does he have to go to the clinic? Why are you even worrying. If you don't like her, then tell her she's not needed.

It's all you need to do.

ClareEmily

I enjoyed my HV visits, as a first time mum it reassured me that my baby was putting on weigh, I always had lots of questions for her, she helped with BF-ing problems, checked my Blood pressure as still high after birth, and checked my stitches when they began to hurt.

For the first few weeks I was so sleep deprived, that I was normally in my PJ's and trying to catch up on sleep while baby slept during the day, she never judged the state of me or my house, and just made sure I had support from family, and that I had bonded with baby which I had.

I actually felt sad when her visits stopped.

I would probably feel differently if I ever have a second child, but I found it really helpful.

esmf73

We've moved around a lot so I've seen quite a few HVs. My first one was fantastic - and the only thing that bothered me was at clinic I was referred to as Mum - my OH is a doctor so they all knew what my name was. Reason has since taken over!!! When I took my second son to his first set of injections we met a HORRID HV. Won't go into it massively but it resulted in her starting a Child Protection Meeting (grr) and it was strangely funny to see that horrid HV and her boss sat on one side of the room, and I had 2 HVs, the paediatrician and doctor sat on my side of the room! This experience made me very very cautious about every other hv.

We then moved to N Ireland - I had a lovely HV - who visited maybe once every 2 months - there was no clinic to attend. We then moved to Cyprus (british forces) and my HV lived next door to me - luck! She was FANTASTIC and became a very good friend. When I had problems with my eldest settling at night she came round at 8pm and I greeted her in tears on the doorstep because of his behaviour. She gave me a big hug and then proceeded to sit in the bedroom with my DS for an hour until he calmed down. She was worth my weight in gold (she's very slight!!) and then came and had a glass of wine with me! I believe she has now retired, but she was like a surrogate mum to SOOOOOOO many people, and did so many extra things for people too. Love her loads.

blue_monkey_2

donteatthat wrote: »

I've recently done my levels 1,2 and 3 safeguarding for child protection and can say the number of HV's and their roles (read ability to interfere) will be expanded in light of the increasing - yes that is increasing - levels of child abuse in the UK.

And what are HV going to do? The same as a SW? As someone has said, you do not have to see a HV so do you think the abusers are going to be letting them in the door?

jetplane

My sister in law had a prem baby last year in special care, she is an older mother, first baby after multiple miscarriages and when she came home she was terrified of her HV, who was a right cow.

This woman made many assumptions, criticisms and constantly threatened that she could have the baby re-admitted to hospital if my SiL did not do what she was told!

I eventually persuaded her to complain, which she did and discovered she wasn't the first. She was offered a new HV who said baby was fine, SiL was doing great, nothing to worry about.

I am currently commisioned to do some work with childrens services and HV's do not seem to be held in high regard by some other professionals. They are often on the phone making demands & referrals but are often too busy (or important) to attend meetings thereafter.

I do some training for student HV's and have been surprised by some of their pre conceived attitudes which they take with them into the community.

Having said all of that, on the flip side the amount of work that childrens services has to do with families around basic skills, healthy eating, safety, interaction with their child etc is incredible. It has opened my eyes, the state is teaching skills that we learnt from our mothers and grandmothers.