I hate my health visitor - rant

kingfisherblue

My oldest son is disabled and when he was a baby, he had to be weighed each week and we then had to ring Alder Hey to let them know his weight - he had to have (and still has) prescribed high calorie milk due to failure to thrive. The HV was a nightmare. She would come every Friday morning, just after I had taken my daughter to school, and wouldn't go until several hours later. She was patronising and had preconceived and old fashioned ideas about children with Down's syndrome, but no interest in how my son's other, rare, disabilities affected him (even though they were far more troublesome than the Down's syndrome).

I went to see my GP one day, and out it came, in torrents. I used to dread her visits, but thought I had to put up with them because of the weighing issue. I was very quiet in those days and wouldn't say boo to a goose.

My GP was very concerned that I felt so upset by this woman, and he was probably surprised at her ideas (children with DS may never walk, talk, etc, but don't worry, they are very loving even though they die young :eek:). He arranged to have another HV visit me instead and I never saw the old bat again. After another three months or so, my son was weighed at the clinic every couple of weeks.

OP, don't do as I did and accept the HV as being in charge. It will only make you miserable. If there is no health reason for her visiting, put a stop to it.

bunty109

3 different HVs and only one was any good (2nd). When number 3 managed to reduce me to tears at a development check for my son I decided never to go back. Thankfully, she never knew she made me cry and I think all 3 of my kids have turned out ok!

gibson123

I put my health visitor out of my house! I had had a horrendous birth, emergency section and a bad infection, and had recently lost my partner, my job and my accommodation meaning I moved back with Mum, but I was coping very well. My fantastic doctor gave me wonderful support and a psychologist put me in the "low risk" group because I was strangely so at peace with the world and very settled. I know it sounds strange but I had been through so much it was like I reached inside myself and found extra super-power mummy strength. Anyway to cut a long story short my Health Visitor read my notes and decided that I should be suicidal, depressed, neglectful or worse and was determined in spite of all indications to the contrary that I should be on some sort of at risk register. One day when she had said for about the 20th time at the one visit, now are you sure you are coping, I decided i had had enough and politely lifted my baby from her arms and asked her to leave and never darken my door again. I then called my doctor and told him the reason why and the doctor not only had a personal word with her but also took on all her appointments. So tell her to do one!

Spirit_2

My experience of HV's has been that mostly they are wellmeaning but their role is pointless. It seems a great waste to have taken Registered Nurses or Midwives and then expensively retrained them for this.

Undoubtedly there will be some children and families who benefit but I do wonder how it is measured and and if the benefit outweighs the opportunity cost.

You have had lots of good advice about attending the clinic with your little one as an alternative to this intrusion.

Gillyx

Another one who doesn't like my Health Visitor, we first met her after a particularly horrendous night where our son wouldn't settle and we suspected reflux, as he wouldn't lay on his back and wasn't taking much feed. On asking her if she thought this could be the problem, she told us it was probably boredum and to pop a wee baby card at the side of his pram or crib and that'l help settle him, despite the fact our son was screaming the place down and had his eyes so tightly shut with his screaming he wouldn't have been able to see anything.

She was due to visit us on Thursday past there, but we ended up in the doctors surgery as we were getting medication for our baby, and we got him weighed there and then, and luckily managed to avoid her visit. She's not made any more appointments to come visit us, but I will have to brave her at the baby clinic, as due to the medication A is on, his weight has to be monitored regularly so the dosage can be upped accordingly.

wondercollie

I'm ducking here but I'm a Home Visit Nurse. Albeit not in the UK.

I visit within the first 36 hours of discharge home from the maternity unit. I basically call to answer any questions that may have arisen after coming home. I leave the leaflets about when the "well-baby" clinics are scheduled, a list of immunizations, answer a few questions. If I see anything risky like a PitBull sitting next to the crib, I offer a few safety tips and then I leave.

It's sad that so many have a huge cleaning spurt before I arrive. The house is reeking of cleaning products and everyone is so perky and positive. All the province wants to know, is are you and babe OK? Do you really know what services are in the community for you?

Personally, I don't care if you breast or bottle feed. As long as you are feeding the child and feel confident doing so. It's your choice, your child.

UKTigerlily

If I had a HV that decided my dog sitting near the cot was risky i'd be telling them where to go as i'm more than aware of always supervising dogs & kids & i'm sure most parents also are.

wondercollie

We've just had a child killed by a well trained and socialized family/working dog. The first responders said it was the worst thing they'd ever seen.

To each their own.

atrixblue.-MFR-.

my friends HV is a heartless cow.

she's constantly putting mum down with comment such as its too hot in here for the kids, he's in his bouncer "yet again", why do you let the cat in living room and sit on the settee,his medicine is cold all the time been in the fridge again has it (its supposed to be in the fridge BTW per leaflet instructions)
your not dressed again mum! could do with a clean in here couldnt it, and you cant cancel an appointment with her youd swear the end of the world was crashing around your ears and you MUST have a visit from her at that time and date.

she visits weekly to my friends house and he's now one. she cant tell her to do one yet because she's just had another baby thats in special care.

mrcow

atrixblue.-MFR-. wrote: »

she cant tell her to do one yet because she's just had another baby thats in special care.

What does that matter? Surely her new baby is getting the help he/she needs from the appropriate hospital?

The HV has nothing to do with it.

Just don't be in every time she books an appointment. After a month, she'll get the message.

Or when she's booking an appointment, tell her it's not convenient and that you're busy.

If she knocks on the the door without booking, tell her you're busy and to book next time.